Queen Essays

COMM 1011- Fundamentals of Communication

Chapter 1

University of Colorado Denver

The Importance of Studying Human Communication

1.1 Explain why it is important to study human communication.

As you begin this course, several questions may arise. First, you may wonder exactly how the study of human communication differs from other studies of humans, such as psychology. Communication differs from other social science disciplines because it focuses exclusively on the exchange of messages to create meaning. Scholars in communication explore what, when, where, and why humans interact (Emanuel, 2007). They do so to increase our understanding of how people communicate and to help individuals improve their abilities to communicate in a wide variety of contexts. In addition, unlike most social sciences, the study of communication has a long history — reaching back to the classical era of Western civilization when Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle wrote about the important role of communication in politics, the courts, and learning (National Communication Association [NCA], 2003; Rogers & Chafee, 1983). However, the ability to speak effectively and persuasively has been valued since the beginning of recorded history. As early as 3200-2800 BCE, the Precepts of Kagemni and Ptah-Hotep commented on communication (NCA, 2003).

Second, you may question why anyone needs to study communication; after all, most people have probably been doing a reasonably good job of it thus far. And isn't most communication knowledge just common sense? Unfortunately, it is not. If good communication skills were just common sense, then communication would not so often go awry. In fact, most people struggle with how to communicate well: they don't know how to listen so that other people feel heard; they aren't sure how to convince others to see their point of view; and they often aren't able to settle disagreements with people they care about deeply. Because communication is a complex activity, we need to learn skills that allow us to adapt our communication so others will hear, understand, connect with and care for us. Think of times when you felt others failed to communicate effectively with you. Have you ever felt that one of your teachers talked down to you? Have you had a relationship end because you and your partner had a misunderstanding? Or have you failed to get what you wanted — a job, an invitation, your parents' support —because you couldn't figure out how to interact with others in specific contexts? In sum, talking is not equivalent to communicating. We can drown others in words, but if they do not understand, connect with, and care about those words, then we have not communicated with them at all.

Now that we have so many ways to communicate and maintain relationships with others, some scholars have begun to ask if it is possible to have too much communication. Do you think this is possible or likely? To learn how some communication scholars answer this question, see Alternative View: Co-rummation: When Too Much Talk Is as Bad as Not Enough.

Alternative View

Co-rumination: When Too Much Talk Is As Bad As Not Enough

You have probably heard that to have good relationships, people need to "communicate more." However, sometimes communicating a lot can have negative effects. One type of "over-communication" that can cause harm is co-rumination. Co-rumination occurs when we talk-again-and again-and again—with others about a problem in our lives. It has been linked to negative outcomes such as depression, anxiety, binge eating, binge drinking, and self-harm (Nolen-Hoeksema et al., 2008).

Co-rumination often occurs among friends because that is to whom we turn most often when we encounter problems. In an attempt to console or support each other, such as when a breakup occurs, friends often tolerate or even encourage each other to talk extensively about what happened and how they feel. Individuals are most likely to engage in co-rumination during adolescence and young adulthood.

Why is co-rumination unhealthy? During co-rumination, participants' communication focuses incessantly on the issue and its negative effects rather than on solutions. It can even damage relationships, causing "depression contagion." If the co-ruminating friend repeatedly draws the other into negative conversations, it can make both more depressed and lead the friend to avoid the co-ruminator, as such discussions may make one feel worse and helpless to do anything about it. Consequently, experts suggest that a goal should be to balance "problem talk" with positive activities and that one should revisit their joys and successes with friends just as they would their problems (Schwartz-Mette & Smith, 2018).

Can you think of other occasions when people talk "too much"?

SOURCES: Nolen-Hoeksema S., Wisco, B., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). Rethinking rumination. Perspectives on Psychologica/ Science, 3, 400-424.

Schwartz-Mette, R. A., & Smith, R. L. (2018). When does co-rumination facilitate depression contagion in adolescent friendships? Investigating intrapersonal and interpersonal factors. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, 47(6), 912- 924.

Finally, you may think of communication as a set of skills but believe that they are easily learned and wonder why there is an entire course (even a major!) that focuses on communication. Although it is true that every day people use communication to accomplish practical goals such as inviting a friend to see a movie, resolving a conflict with a colleague, or persuading the city council to install speed bumps in their neighborhood, communication is more than just a set of skills, like baking, that one can use in a variety of contexts and settings with little alteration. Rather, communication is an intricate process whose effective performance requires an in-depth understanding of how it works and the ability to apply one's critical thinking skills to communication experiences to learn from and improve them.

What Is Human Communication?

1.2 Name and describe the seven primary components of communication.

Broadly speaking, human communication can be defined as a process in which people generate meaning through the exchange of verbal and nonverbal messages. In this text, however, we emphasize the influence of individual and societal forces and the roles of culture and context more than other definitions do. Because we believe these concepts are essential to understanding the communication process completely, we developed a definition of human communication that included them. Accordingly, we define human communication as a transactional process in which people generate meaning through the exchange of verbal and nonverbal messages in specific contexts, influenced by individual and societal forces and embedded in culture. In the following sections, we will illustrate our definition of human communication and explore the meaning of each of these concepts and their relationships.

A Model of Human Communication: The Synergetic Model

1.3 Explain how the Synergetic Model of Communication differs from previous models.

To help people understand complex processes, scientists and engineers, among others, create visual models to show how all components of a process work together. Scholars of human communication have done the same. They have developed models to reveal how the seven components described work together to create a communication interaction.

The first such model of human communication depicted communication as a linear process that primarily involved the transfer of information from one person to another (Eisenberg et al., 2010; Laswell, 1948; Shannon & Weaver, 1949). In this model, communication occurred when a sender encoded a message (put ideas into words and symbols) that was sent to a receiver who decoded (interpreted) it. Then the process was believed to reverse: The receiver became the sender, and the sender became the receiver (Laswell, 1948). This model (see Figure 1.1) also included the components of "noise" and "channel." A linear model assumes, for example, that your professor encodes her ideas into a lesson that she communicates to you via a face-to-face or video lecture (the channel) and that you hear her message and decode its meaning unless some noise interferes, such as the video failing to load or a loud noise outside drowning out her words. However, you can see some of the limitations of this model. It assumes that if a message is perfectly crafted its meaning will be clear to the audience, regardless of their own ages, experiences, and interpretations. You can probably think of times where this was not true. Because of these limitations, other, more complex models, such as our Synergetic Model, have been created to show a greater variety of factors that interact with one another to influence the communication process.

The Synergetic Model is a transactional model that, like most previous models, depicts communication as occurring when two or more people create meaning as they respond to each other and their environment. In addition, it is based on a belief in the important roles of individual and societal forces, contexts, and culture in the communication process. We call the model synergetic because synergy describes when two or more elements work together to achieve something either one couldn't have achieved on its own. For example, in the ubiquitous volcano science fair project, "lava" is created by adding vinegar to baking soda. Once the two products interact, something new is created. Similarly, when two people work together on a class project, often the outcome is better than either could have created on his own. Thus, our communication model is synergetic in that the different elements of communication work together to create something different, and greater, than just the sum of its parts. We discuss each of these elements, and to help clarify the concepts, we revisit Charee's interaction with her father once again to illustrate how they function during the communication process.

After carefully planning for the interaction with her father about her desire to be more politically active, Charee engaged in the following conversation with him:

CHAREE: I feel it's my civic responsibility to protest what's been going on in our city's police department. (While talking, Charee notices a quixxical look on her father's face.)

DAD: (frowning, speaking uncertainly) Why you? The police have never done anything to us. Why do you have to put yourself in danger? Couldn't you just write a letter or post some questions to the police department's website?

CHAREE: My friends and I have done this, and the university group I belong to has tried many ways to facilitate change, and it hasn't worked.

DAD: So when and where are you gonna do this?

CHAREE: (looking away, speaking hesitantly) Well, there's an organized rally tonight downtown.

DAD: I still don't understand! Why do you think you have to do this?

CHAREE: (speaking patiently) Do you and Mom remember what it was like when you were in Vietnam and the government didn't respect people's viewpoints? Do you remember what it was like when I was bullied in school and the teacher denied it was happening? I know it's 10 times worse for my Black friends, in school and on the streets. And I think it's patriotic to make sure all Americans are treated fairly. And I know you love this country and feel very patriotic, just as I do.

DAD: (shaking his head, speaking firmly) Well, I wish you didn't have to express your patriotism in this way, but I remember hearing about the problems in the police department here. I just worry about you! I want you to be safe.

CHAREE: (nodding her head, smiling) I know you worry about me, and I kinda like that. I promise 111 keep in touch and be careful.

Communication Ethics

1.4 Formulate your own communication ethic.

A diary study found that college students lied in one out of about every three social interactions, and over the course of a week only 1 percent of students said they told no lies at all (DePaulo, 2011). In a more recent survey of 70,000 undergraduate and graduate students, 95 percent admitted to cheating on a test or homework or committing plagiarism (Danilyuk, 2019). And it isn't only college students who admit to deceiving others. In a recent survey conducted by the National Endowment of Financial Education (2018), 41 percent of respondents confessed to lying to their marital and living partners about money, often with disastrous consequences. "Operation Varsity Blues," in which some wealthy parents paid about $25 million in bribes and misrepresented their children's application materials to get into elite schools, is another example of deception (Reilly, 2020).

Given examples such as these, one may wonder if a communication ethic still exists. We strongly believe that it does. Even if unethical communication is widespread and some people get away with their misbehavior, most people are still held responsible for the messages they create (Anderson & Tompkins, 2015; Fritz, 2019; Lipari, 2009). If you spread gossip about your friends, lie to your employer, or withhold information from your family, justifying your behavior by pointing to the ethical failures of others will not excuse you. Those who know you and are close to you still expect you to meet basic standards for ethical communication.

Why are communication ethics so important? First, they sustain professional success. Yes, unethical people may prosper in the short run, but over time unethical practices catch up with the people who engage in them. To a great extent, your reputation as a person of integrity determines whether others want to hire you, work for you, or conduct business with you. Once that reputation is damaged, it can be difficult if not impossible to regain; consequently, communicating and behaving ethically is just good business.

Communication ethics are vital to personal relationships as well. Maintaining intimate and caring relationships can be difficult, but they become virtually impossible if one communicates unethically by lying, manipulating, or verbally abusing friends and lovers. Intimate relationships are grounded in trust. Without trust, people can't be open and vulnerable with one another, behaviors that are essential to intimacy. When one person abuses that trust by his or her unethical conduct, the other party often is deeply wounded and finds it difficult to ever again be intimate within the relationship. Far too many people have learned the hard way that a lack of ethics destroys relationships.

As a communicator, you will face many ambiguous and difficult choices of both a professional and a personal nature. If you develop your own set of communication ethics, you will be better prepared to face these difficult choices. Therefore, in this section we provide some basic principles of ethical communication for you to consider as you critically review your own ethical standard.

Fundamentally, individuals, groups, and communities develop ethical codes to reflect their beliefs and values. Clearly the guidelines we offer reflect our own communication ethics. We do not expect you to adopt our beliefs wholesale. Rather, we present this information throughout this book so that you can analyze it critically to determine to what extent it reflects your own beliefs and behavior, what evidence supports it, and what other guidelines may be as useful or more useful for you. Thus, we want you to use your critical thinking skills specifically to critique our claims here and to use that analysis to form your own ethical code.

Putting It All Together: Communicating Competently

1.5 Articulate what makes a communicator competent.

The goal of this book is to help you improve your communication skills so that you can become a more successful, or competent, communicator. A competent communicator is one who is able to use communication to achieve his or her (realistic and appropriate) goals. More specifically, communicators are competent when they use their understanding of themselves, others, the context, and communication principles to adapt their communication to achieve their goals (Friedrich, 1994).

Communication competence is composed of two elements: appropriateness, which is defined as following the relevant rules, norms, and expectations for specific relationships and situations; and effectiveness, which involves achieving one's goals successfully. Speakers are competent when they understand the expectations regarding their behavior and are able to behave in a way that fulfills those expectations. For example, a best man offering a wedding toast is expected to be amusing, complimentary, and brief (as well as sober!). Failure to fulfill these expectations not only results in a poor toast, but it often also results in audience members negatively evaluating the speaker. If the toast seriously violates these expectations, the consequences may even include terminated relationships.

Effectiveness refers to the ability to achieve one's goals for an interaction without interfering with other, potentially more important goals. Taking the earlier example, a person giving a toast may have a goal of being humorous. However, if the best man makes jokes that are in poor taste, he might meet his goal of making the audience laugh, but he may fail another, more important goal of remaining friends with the bride and groom.

Generally, speakers have three types of goals that are important during an interaction: content, relationship, and identity. Content goals describe the concrete outcomes you would like to achieve during an interaction -to receive a job offer, earn a high grade on a speech, or to successfully initiate a new relationship. Relationship goals refer to your desire to change or maintain your relationship with another, for example, when you say "I love you" to your romantic partner in hopes of increasing your commitment to one another, or when you apologize so your romantic partner won't leave you. Finally, identity goals describe how we would like others to see us or help us see ourselves. When complaining about a grade, for instance, you likely want your grade changed (a content goal) but you probably also want your instructor to see you as deserving the higher grade (an identity goal).

Based on this definition, a communication behavior is judged to be competent only within specific situations or relationships (Cupach et al., 2009). That is, a behavior that might be appropriate or effective for one situation may not be so for another. For example, although "trash talking" may be competent (that is, appropriate and effective) in a sports context, is not likely to be appropriate during a discussion with one's romantic partner, even if it were effective. Communication competence requires that you understand yourself, your relationships and specific situations well enough that you can pull from your repertoire of communication skills exactly the right ones to use at this time, in this place, with this person, on this topic.

you think all of this sounds like a lot to do, you are beginning to understand why learning to communicate well is so complex. The good news is that we are here to help you develop the skills you need to be competent in a wide range of interactions. As you read through the remaining chapters in the book, reflect on how each concept can help you become a more competent communicator.

The Importance of Identity 2.1 Identify six reasons identity is important to communication.

Identity has a tremendous impact on the communication process in a number of ways. How we

communicate, as well as how our communication is received by others, can be shaped by our identities

and the identities of others. Let's look at some of the ways that identity influences communication. First,

because individuals bring their self-images or identities to each communicative encounter, every

communication interaction is affected by their identities. For example, when elderly people converse

with teenagers, both groups may have to accommodate for differences in their experiences and

language use. Second, communication interactions create and shape identities (Carbaugh, 2007). If older

adults treat teenagers with respect and admiration during their conversations, these young people may

view themselves as more mature and more valuable than they did previously. Conversely,

communication can also be used to denigrate other identities and create tension between groups. It is

always important to think about the impact of communication on various identity groups.

Third, identity plays an important role in intercultural communication, which is something that has

become increasingly common in our global, technology-based world. As more and more businesses have

international branches and subsidiaries, workers are increasingly likely to have contact with people from

other cultures. The more familiar they are with the values related to identity in these cultures, the better

prepared they will be to succeed in today's society. Fourth, understanding identity is useful because so

much of U.S. life is organized around and geared toward specific identities (Allen, 2004). In the United

States, we have television stations such as Black Entertainment Television and Telemundo and, as more

people get rid of cable subscriptions, Black Stories on Hulu, for example, that offer programming for

primarily African American audiences. Magazines like Ebony and Out, among many, are targeted to

groups based on their race, age, gender, or sexuality. We also have entertainment venues such as

Disneyland and Club Med that are developed specifically for families, romantic couples, and singles. In

this identity-based climate, individuals often communicate primarily with others who share their

identities. Consequently, learning how to communicate effectively with individuals whose identities vary

from yours may require considerable thought and effort.

Fifth, identity is a key site in which individual and societal forces come together to shape communication

experiences. Although we each possess identity characteristics such as social class or nationality, the

society where our communication takes place defines the meanings of those characteristics. For

example, depending on whether you are in the United States or visiting a country where anti-American

sentiment is common, what it means to be an "American" can have different nuances. Moreover, we

cannot separate our identities -as individuals or as members of society -from our communication

experiences. Finally, identity is an important part of how we send and receive messages. When someone

wants to speak for or against a proposed change in restaurant regulations at a city council meeting, they

may preface the remarks by noting that they are an owner of a restaurant in the city and then make their

arguments. In other situations, people may identify themselves as parents, consumers, fans, and other

identities. Sometimes identities are used to mobilize people to act, such as the Black Lives Matter

protests held in the wake of the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis. Not all protestors were African

Americans and all African Americans did not participate, but we are a complex set of interconnected

identities. We explain this interaction more fully throughout this chapter.

What Is Identity? 2.2 Define identity.

When you enrolled in college, you were most likely required to provide a piece of identification, such as

a birth certificate, passport, or driver's license. Identity is tied closely to identification; it refers to who

you are and the specific characteristics that make you different from other individuals. In communication

studies, identity includes not only who you are but also the social categories you identify yourself with

and the categories that others identify with you. Society creates social categories such as middle aged or

college student, but they only become part of one's identity when one identifies with them or others

identify you in these categories. For example, you may think of yourself as short, but others may classify

you as being of average height. Many young people in their late teens and early twenties identify with

the category college student, but a growing number of people in their thirties, forties, and even older are

also returning to school and identifying with this category. The many social categories that exist can be

divided into two types: primary and secondary identities (Loden & Rosener, 1991; Ting Toomey, 1999).

Primary identities are those that have the most consistent and enduring impact on our lives, such as

race, gender, and nationality. Secondary identities, such as college major, occupation, and marital status,

are more fluid and more dependent on situation.

To help define the term identity, let's examine its essential characteristics. The first characteristic is that

identities exist at the individual and the societal levels. Jake Harwood (2006) explains this concept: "At

the individual (personal identity) level, we are concerned with our difference from other individuals, and

the things that make us unique as people. At the collective (social identity) level, we are concerned with

our group's differences from other groups, and the things that make our group unique" (pp. 81-85). For

example, if you are athletic and you are thinking about your athleticism in relation to others who are

more or less athletic than you are, you are focusing on one aspect of your individual identity. If you are

thinking about the social role of "athletes" in society, then you are focusing on a different aspect of your

social identity.

We should note that identities are not necessarily only individual or social; they can be both, depending

on the situation. How is this contradiction possible? Let's look at an example. Many of you are U.S.

Americans, and your national identity is part of your social identity. Because you are surrounded by

others from the United States, you may not be conscious of this as being part of your individual identity.

But if you travel abroad, your national identity becomes part of your individual identity because this

significant characteristic differentiates you from others. A second important aspect of identity is that it is

both fixed and dynamic. Again, this seems like a contradiction. If you think about it, however, you will

realize that certain aspects of our identities, although stable to some extent, actually do change over

time. For instance, a person may be born male, but as he grows from an infant to a boy to a teenager to

a young man to a middle-aged man and then to an old man, the meanings of his male identity change.

He is still a male and still identifies as a male, but what it means to be male alters as he ages, and social

expectations change regarding what a boy or a man should be (Kimmel, 2005). A third characteristic of

identity is that individual and social identities are created through interaction with others. The

relationships, experiences, and communication interactions we share with others shape how we see

ourselves. For example, people who travel abroad and then return home may experience stress, but they

also experience growth and change – and communication with those they meet as they travel plays a key

role in both (Martin & Harrell, 1996).

A fourth consideration is that identities need to be understood in relation to historical, social, and

cultural environments. The meaning of any identity is tied to how it has been viewed historically and

how people with that identity are situated in a given culture and society (Hecht et al., 2003; Johnson,

2001). For instance, throughout history, we have had varied notions of what it means to be female (Bock,

1989). For example, Harriet Tubman, who led many slaves to freedom, and Susan B. Anthony, who

fought for women's right to vote in the nineteenth century, were significant exceptions to their racial and

gender identities. In their times and for much of history, women have been perceived as intellectually

inferior, physically delicate, or morally weak when compared to men. African Americans were also seen

as unable to be leaders. Because of these beliefs, in many cultures women and African Americans were

denied voting and property rights. Thus, a hierarchy exists across cultures in which some identities are

preferentially treated over other identities. You can probably think of other examples in which

preferential treatment was given or denied based on race, sexuality, religion, social class, or age (Allen,

2004). In sum, identity is key to understanding communication, and communication is key to

understanding identity. As Abrams et al. (2002, p. 237) have stated, "identity and communication are

mutually reinforcing”

The Individual and Identity 2.3 Clarify how reflected appraisals, social comparisons, self-fulfilling

prophecies, and self-concept contribute to identity development.

Although it can be tempting to boil a person's identity down to one word -say, nerd, jock, or sorority girl –

in reality, everyone is more complex than that. If you had to pick only one word to describe yourself and

you had to use it in every situation -personal and professional -what word would you choose? For most

people this task is impossible, for we all see ourselves as multidimensional, complex, and unique. People

in the United States, especially, are invested in the notion that they are unique. Iwins often go to great

lengths to assure people that they are not the same. Perhaps the most famous example of this is the

Olsen twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley. Mary-Kate dyed her hair dark so she would look less like her sister,

and when the sisters received a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, they requested that they be given

separate stars (a request that was denied). Like almost everyone, they recognize and value their

uniqueness – and they would like others to do so as well. How is it possible that people who are as much

alike as twins can still have distinct identities? It is possible because of the ways in which identities are

created and how these identities are "performed" in daily life.

The Individual, Identity, and Society 2.4 Identify examples of racial, national, ethnic, gender, sexual, age,

social class, disability, and religious identities.

Library The development of individual identities is influenced by societal forces. Therefore, you cannot

understand yourself or others without understanding how society constructs or defines characteristics

such as gender, sexuality, race, religion, social class, and nationality. For example, as a child, you were

probably told (some of) the differences between boys and girls. Some messages came from your

parents, such as how boys' and girls' clothing differs or how girls should behave as compared with boys.

Other messages came from your schoolmates, who may have told you that "they" (either boys or girls)

had "cooties." You may also have picked up messages about gender differences, or about any of the

identity categories mentioned, from television or other media. By combining messages from these

various sources, you began to construct images of what is considered normal for each identity category.

Communication scholars are particularly interested in how identities are communicated, and created,

through communication. For example, in his work focusing on communication interactions, Donal

Carbaugh (2007) is particularly interested in studying intercultural encounters, and he focuses on how

communication interaction reveals insights into cultural identities.

When people enact identities that are contrary to social expectations, they may be pressured to change

their performance. Thus, boys and girls who do not perform their gender identities in ways prescribed by

society might be called "sissies" or "tomboys." There are some Jewish people who eat shrimp and some

Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) who drink coffee, but they may not do so when around other people.

Those who do not conform to expected social communication or performance patterns may become

victims of threats, name calling, violence, and even murder (Sloop, 2004). These aggressive responses

are meant to ensure that everyone behaves in ways that clearly communicate appropriate identity

categories. For example, after a lengthy lawsuit, Shannon Faulkner became the first woman to enroll at

the Citadel, South Carolina's formerly all-male military college. During the time that she attended the

school, she received death threats and had to be accompanied by federal marshals (Bennett-Haigney,

1995). Thus, some groups in society have strong feelings regarding how identities should be performed,

and they may act to ensure that identities are performed according to societal expectations. In this

section of the chapter, we will look at a range of primary identity categories. Note that each is a product

of both individual and societal forces. Thus, whatever you think your individual identity might be, you

have to negotiate that identity within the larger society and the meanings society ascribes to it.

Ethics and Identity 2.5 Discuss three ethical considerations for communicating in a sensitive manner to

and about others' identities.

As you are probably aware, a person's sense of identity is central to how they function in the world.

Moreover, because identities derive their meanings from society, every identity comes with values

attached to it. The ways we communicate may reflect these values. If you wish to be sensitive to other

people's identities, you should be aware of at least three key ethical issues that can impact your

communication with others. One issue you might consider is how you communicate with people whose

identities are more, or less, valued. What do we mean by more or less valued? You probably already

know. In the United States, for example, which of the following identities is more highly valued: White or

multiracial? Male or female? Lawyer or school bus driver? Still, these rankings are not necessarily

consistent across cultures. In Denmark, for example, work identities do not follow the same hierarchical

pattern as those in the United States (Mikkelsen & Einarsen, 2001). Thus, Danes are more likely to view

street sweepers and doctors as social equals because they don't place as high a value on the medical

profession nor as low a value on service jobs as many U.S. Americans do. In the United States, in

contrast, many service workers complain that most of the people they serve either ignore them or treat

them rudely even with contempt. Consequently, you might ask yourself, "Do I communicate more

politely and respectfully with high-versus low-status people?" If you find yourself exhibiting more respect

when you communicate with your boss than you do with the employees you manage, then you might

want to consider the impact of your communication on your subordinates' identities.

The second ethical point to reflect on involves language that denigrates or puts down others based on

their identities. Such language debases their humanity and shuts down open communication. Examples

of unethical communication and behavior related to identity occur if men yell sexual slurs at women on

the street, or straight people harass individuals they believe are gay, or when White people are

disrespectful to people of color. Although you probably don't engage in such obvious insults to people's

identities, do you denigrate them in other, more subtle ways? For example, have you ever referred to

someone as "just a homemaker" or "only a dental assistant"?

Skills for Communicating about Identities 2.6 Explain three ways to communicate more effectively about

identities.

Related to our discussion about ethical issues, we offer three guidelines for communicating more

effectively about identities. The first guideline concerns the self-fulfilling prophecy we discussed

previously: How you communicate to someone and about someone can influence how they perform

their identity or how it develops. If a parent continually communicates with the child as if she were

irresponsible, then the child is likely to act irresponsibly. To communicate effectively, be aware of the

ways you create self-fulfilling prophecies through your own communication. Second, there are many

ways to perform a particular identity. You can improve your ability to communicate if you are tolerant of

the many variations. For example, even if you believe that "real men" should act in certain ways, you are

likely to communicate more effectively if you do not impose your beliefs on others. For example, you

should not assume that because someone is male, he enjoys watching football, baseball, and other

sports; wants to get married and have children; or eats only meat and potatoes. If you do, you are likely

to communicate with some men in ways they will find less interesting than you intend. Third, remember

that people change over time. If you have been out of touch with friends for a period of time, when you

encounter them again you may find that they have embraced new identities. Sometimes people change

religious identities, or sometimes they change occupations. You can increase your communication

effectiveness if you recognize that people change and that their new identities may be unfamiliar to you.

Communicating Identities

Chapter 3

University of Colorado Denver

The Importance of Perception 3.1 Explain why understanding perception is important.

How individuals respond to people, objects, and environments depends largely on the perceptions they

have about them. Although we tend think what we see, hear, and taste is "real," perceptions actually

shape our understanding of the world. Thus, what we perceive as true or accurate may not reflect

another person's reality. If you live with someone or are someone on the autism spectrum, you likely

understand that you and others don't necessarily share similar perceptions. For example, some people

on the spectrum struggle with filtering specific sensory stimuli, so sounds or lighting that are common in

public settings are uncomfortable, even confusing, for them (Morton-Cooper, 2004). If what you perceive

is different from others' perceptions, you may be tempted to assume that you are correct and that

others are wrong. However, thinking this way not only is unfair, it negatively affects your ability to

interact effectively with others. Communication and perception are intertwined. When we

communicate, we don't just respond to others' words; we respond to our perceptions of the way others

look, sound, and smell and sometimes how they behave. For example, when we perceive people as

being polite, we are more likely to agree to their requests (Kellerman, 2004). Recognize, however, that

others may view what you see as "polite behavior" as overly formal or perhaps rude. We noted in

Chapter 2 that identities play an important role in communication. They also influence and are

influenced by perception. Thus, just as our perceptions of others influence how we communicate with

them, our perceptions and communication affect how they see themselves. Let's take our previous

scenario as a case in point. How might Mateo's or Charee's perceptions affect Professor Wolfe's

perception of herself? If most people perceive Professor Wolfe as Charee does – as amusing and open –

and therefore respond to her by laughing and spending time with her, then she probably sees herself

positively. On the other hand, if most people respond as Mateo did and consequently chose to have little

contact with her, Professor Wolfe may perceive herself more negatively. As you might expect, then,

perception and identity are also interwoven. On the one hand, Mateo's perceptions of Professor Wolfe

affect her identity. At the same time, how the professor views herself and others influences how she

perceives and responds to the world around her. If she has a positive self-image, Professor Wolfe may

perceive that others like her and become more outgoing, she might be more optimistic and see the

positive aspects of a situation more readily, and she could be less aware of others' negative reactions to

her. As you read this chapter, you are receiving considerable sensory input. An air conditioner or heater

might be running, people may be moving past you, and the temperature where you sit likely fluctuates

over time. In addition, you may feel hungry or tired, you might detect the scent of cleaning products,

and the chair you are sitting on could be uncomfortable. How are you able to manage all the information

your senses bring to you so that you can focus on your reading? How are you able to make sense of all

this sensory input? The answer is that you continuously engage in a variety of processes that limit and

structure everything you perceive (Kanizsa, 1979; Morgan, 1977). Let's look at how this works.

What Is Perception? 3.2 Describe the three procedures people use to understand information collected

through the senses.

Perception refers to the process we use to understand our environment so we can respond to it

appropriately. For example, if you see a small animal, before you reach down to pet it, you will seek to

determine what type of animal it is and whether it is friendly. Perception is composed of three

procedures: selection, organization, and interpretation. Together, these procedures help us understand

the information we collect through our senses – what we see, hear, taste, smell, and touch. The sensory

data we select, the ways we organize them, and the interpretations we assign to them affect the ways

we communicate (Manusov & Spitzberg, 2008). Although these processes tend to happen concurrently

and unconsciously, researchers separate them to better explain how they function.

3.3 Name three individual factors that affect one's perceptual processes.

Thus far, we have explained how perceptions form: Individuals engage in selective attention, use a

variety of organizational procedures, and assign meaning to their perceptions. Therefore, if you hear a

loud noise in the street, you will turn your attention to the street; and if you see a car stopped and a

person lying in the road with their motorcycle, you will categorize the event as an accident. Finally, you

likely will decide (interpret) that the car hit the motorcycle rider. You may even "decide" who is at fault

for the accident. As we've discussed, a variety of individual factors influence people's perceptual

processes and affect their selection, organization, and interpretation of sensory input. For example,

those who often ride motorcycles may attribute fault for the accident to the car driver (because they

have frequently experienced inattentive auto drivers), whereas people who only drive cars may attribute

blame to the motorcyclist (because they observed cyclists driving between lanes of cars on the road).

The individual factors that influence our perceptual processes generally fall into three categories:

physical, cognitive, and personality characteristics.

The Individual, Perception, and Society 3.4 Articulate how power, culture, social comparisons, and

historical period influence perception. How do societal factors affect perception?

As we explain in this section, the position individuals hold in society and the cultures in which they live

affect what they perceive and how they interpret these perceptions. As you read this section, we

encourage you to consider the societal forces that affect your perceptions as well as how they might

affect the perceptions of others.

Ethics and Perception 3.5 Explain why ethics is relevant to the perception process.

As we've discussed throughout this chapter, the ways people communicate to and about others are

connected to their perceptions and cognitions about them. That is, what we select to attend to, what

categories we put people in, and the attributions we make about them all strongly influence what we

believe, say, and do. For example, Dev was driving home late one night and stopped at a traffic light

when he noticed a young White woman in the car next to his. She reached over and locked her door. As

she looked up, Dev smiled slightly and then leaned over and locked his door. In this case, Dev was gently

reminding the other driver that she was responding based on stereotypical perceptions and cognitions.

Improving Your Perception Skills 3.6 Identify three ways you can improve your perception skills.

You probably realize now that perceptions are subject to variance and error because of the variety of

steps one goes through in forming them (selection, organization, and interpretation) and the range of

factors that influence the perception process (individual characteristics, cognitive complexity, power,

culture, historical time period, and social roles). However, certain cognitive and communication

behaviors can improve one's ability to perceive and understand the world. First, one can engage in

mindfulness to improve perception and understanding. Mindfulness refers to a clear focus on one's

current activity, with attention to as many specifics of the event as possible (Langer, 1978). People tend

to be most mindful when they are engaged in a new or unusual activity. Once an activity becomes

habitual, we are likely to overlook its details. Mindfulness requires that one bring the same level of

attention and involvement to routine activities as one does to novel ones. You sent In addition, before

assuming your perceptions are accurate, you might ask yourself a few questions to help you check those

perceptions: • Have you focused too narrowly and missed relevant information because of selective

attention? For example, did you focus on what the person was wearing rather than on what they were

saying? • What type of organizational pattern did you use? For example, just because two people are

standing next to one another does not mean they are together. • To what extent have you considered all

possible interpretations for the information you perceived, using the full range of your cognitive

complexity? For example, if you did poorly on a test, was it due to poor test construction, your lack of

sleep, the teacher's failure to prepare you, or your own failure to study sufficiently? • How might your

physical condition have influenced your perceptions? For example, are you tired, hungry, or frightened?

•How has your cultural background influenced your perceptions? For example, are you perceiving

politeness as deception? •How has your social role influenced your perception? For example, have you

begun to perceive all elderly people as infirm because you work in a nursing home? •How has your social

position influenced your perception? For example, have you considered how others with different

positions might perceive the same issue? You sent Another way to improve one's perception and

understanding is to clearly separate facts from inferences. Facts are truths that are verifiable based on

observation. Inferences are conclusions that we draw or interpretations we make based on the facts.

Thus, it may be a fact that Southerners speak more slowly than do people from other regions of the

United States, but it is an inference if you conclude that their slow speech indicates slow thought

processes.

Communicating, Perceiving, and Understanding

Chapter 4

University of Colorado Denver

The Importance of Verbal Communication

4. 1 Identify three reasons for learning about verbal communication.

Although the nonverbal aspects of communication are important, the verbal elements of communication

are the foundation on which meaning is created. If you doubt that this is the case, try this simple test.

Using only nonverbal communication, convey this message to a friend or roommate: "I failed my exam

because I locked my keys in my car and couldn't get my textbook until well after midnight." How well was

your nonverbal message understood? If you have ever traveled in a country where you didn't speak the

language, no doubt you already knew before trying this experiment that nonverbal communication can

only get you so far. Similarly, although you may try to incorporate emotions or other devices to mimic

nonverbals, the verbal elements of messages are vital in texting, email, and many social networking

sites. We will touch on the importance of nonverbal communication here and discuss it in depth in

Chapter 5. In this section we propose that to be a highly effective communicator you need to understand

the verbal elements of communication. Verbal communication is also important because of the role it

plays in identity and relationship development. As you might remember from our discussion in Chapter

2, Individuals develop a sense of self through communication with others. More specifically, the labels

used to describe individuals can influence their self-concepts and increase or decrease their self-esteem.

People's verbal communication practices also can impede or improve their relationships, which is a topic

we will discuss further in Chapter 8. Research by four psychology professors at Emory University

supports our claims about the relationship between verbal communication and an individual's identity

development and relationship skills. These scholars found that families that converse and eat meals

together on a regular basis have children who not only are more familiar with their family histories but

also tend to have higher self-esteem, interact better with their peers, and are better able to recover from

tragedy and negative events (Duke et al., 2003). Some research has shown the importance of family

dinners and the role of parents in asking and listening to their children. Conversations between parents

and children can build self-esteem in children by parents demonstrating they value what the children

think and feel ("Why the family meal is important," 2020). In addition, the very language people speak is

tied to their identities. Studies of bilingual and multilingual speakers show that their perceptions,

behaviors, and even personalities alter when they change languages (Ramírez-Esparza et al., 2006). Why

does this occur? The answer is that every language is embedded in a specific cultural context, and when

people learn a language, they also learn the beliefs, values, and norms of its culture (Edwards, 2004). So

speaking a language evokes its culture as well as a sense of who we are within that culture. Thus the

language you use to communicate verbally shapes who you are, as you will see in It Happened to Me:

Cristina.

What Is Verbal Communication? Functions and Components of Language

4.2 Describe the functions and components of language.

Verbal communication generally refers to the written or oral words we exchange; however, as our

opening example shows, verbal communication has to do with more than just the words people speak. It

includes pronunciation or accent, the meanings of the words used, and a range of variations in the way

people speak a language, which depend on their regional backgrounds and other factors. Language, of

course, plays a central role in communication. Some argue that it is our use of language that makes us

human. Unlike other mammals, humans use symbols that they can string together to create new words

and with which they can form infinite sets of never-before-heard thought, or read sentences. This ability

allows people to be creative and expressive, such as when they take ordinary words and use them in

new ways. For example, the word robo sapiens —nominated by the American Dialect Society as one of

the most creative words for 2013— refers to a class of robots with human intelligence. This is a play on

the words homo sapiens for humans and robo for robot. Even small children who are unschooled in

grammar create their own rules of language by using innate linguistic ability together with linguistic

information they glean from the people around them. For example, young children often say "mouses"

instead of "mice" because they first learn, and apply broadly, the most common rule for pluralizing –

adding an s. To help you better understand the role of language in the communication process, the next

section explores seven communicative functions of language as well as four components of language

use.

The Individual and Verbal Communication: Influences

4.3 Identify examples of several major influences on verbal communication.

As we saw in Chapter 2, Our communication is influenced by our identities and the various cultures to

which we belong. In turn, our communication helps shape these identities. When identities influence

several aspects of language, we say that speakers have a distinct dialect, a variation of a language

distinguished by its lexical choice (vocabulary), grammar, and pronunciation. In other instances, the

influence of identity is less dramatic, and speakers vary only in some pronunciations or word choices. In

this section we examine how identities related to gender, age, regionality, ethnicity and race, and

education and occupation shape language use.

The Individual, Verbal Communication, and Society: Language, Perception, and Power

4.4 Describe the relationships between language, perception, and power.

How do societal forces influence verbal communication? Culture and power are two of the most

important influences. Culture impacts verbal communication primarily through its influence on language

and perception. As we saw in Chapter 3, Perception plays a key role in communication. Power is

connected to verbal communication because within society, some language styles are viewed as more

powerful, with consequences for both the powerful and the powerless.

Ethics and Verbal Communication

4.5 Identify examples of confirming communication, disconfirming communication, and hate speech.

We have already discussed a number of ethical issues related to verbal communication in this book. In

Chapter 1, we argued that Ethical communicators consider the benefit and/or harm associated with their

messages. In this section, we examine one specific type of language whose use may harm individuals or

relationships.

Verbal Communication

Chapter 5

University of Colorado Denver

The Importance of Nonverbal Communication

5.1 Describe the important role of nonverbal communication in social interaction.

Nonverbal communication plays an important role in social interaction. It helps us express and interpret

verbal messages, navigate everyday life, and make policy decisions.

First, nonverbal communication allows us to communicate more complex messages – such as when we:

• smile to reinforce an expression of thanks

• hold our hands with palms forward to substitute for saying "stop"

• laugh flirtatiously to contradict the words, "I hate you"

• put our index finger and thumb close together to illustrate how thin our new computer is.

Second, nonverbal communication influences how individuals interpret messages, especially those

related to feelings, moods, and attitudes. Nonverbal cues are important to the expression of emotion

because communicators often are more comfortable expressing their feelings nonverbally (such as by

smiling or glaring) than they are stating them more explicitly through words (Mehrabian, 2007). For

example, how often do you flatly tell a friend or colleague, "I am mad at you"? If you are like most

people, this is a relatively rare event; instead, you probably rely on some type of nonverbal cue to

indicate your dissatisfaction. The ability to decode others' nonverbal communication effectively helps

you interpret the nuanced meanings in others' messages as well as how they feel —and how they feel

about you. It also helps you respond better to those messages and feelings. This ability is particularly

important in close relationships. For instance, a study of nonverbal communication and marital

satisfaction found that couples' ability to correctly decode their partner's nonverbal communication

affect was connected to their relational satisfaction, especially for husbands (Koerner & Fitzpatrick,

2002).

What Is Nonverbal Communication?

5.2 Define nonverbal communication.

The nonverbal components of communication include all the messages that people transmit through

means other than words. More specifically, communication scholar Valerie Manusov and psychologist

Miles Patterson define nonverbal communication as "encompassing the sending and receiving of

information through appearance, objects, the environment and behavior in social settings" (Manusov &

Patterson, 2006, p. xi). Thus, they argue that we communicate nonverbally when we blow a kiss, scratch

our arm, or wear clothing that signals our group membership. Even more frequently, nonverbal and

verbal aspects of communication combine to convey messages, as when we indicate anger by turning

our backs and saying, "I don't want to talk with you right now."

However, not every scholar believes that all nonverbal behavior is communicative. These researchers

argue that nonverbal communication occurs only when nonverbal behavior has symbolic meaning and is

communicated intentionally (Burgoon et al., 1996). That is, they believe nonverbal communication

stands for something, whereas nonverbal behavior may not.

For example, from this perspective, scratching one's arm usually isn't intended by the scratcher, nor

understood by the observer, to convey a particular message. Although it may provide information (that

one's arm itches), it doesn't necessarily signal an intentional message. Rather, it would be considered an

involuntary bodily "output." However, these scholars would argue that in baseball when a manager

scratches his arm to signal that a runner on base should steal home, scratching the arm is symbolic and,

therefore, an instance of nonverbal communication.

Nonetheless, these scholars acknowledge that some nonverbal communication does lack the element of

intentionality. For example, a smile may be understood as an expression of pleasure even if the smiler is

unaware that they are smiling. Thus, if a behavior typically is used communicatively, then that behavior is

understood to be part of our nonverbal "vocabulary" and will be interpreted as such, regardless of one's

own conscious use of it (Burgoon et al.,1996).

However, scholars who prefer a broader definition of nonverbal communication argue that many actions

one might consider just a "bodily output" can still convey messages nonverbally. For example, people

usually cough because of a scratchy throat or yawn because they are tired, and when they engage in

these behaviors, others interpret their meaning. Of course, they also believe that when a person coughs

as a signal to capture someone's attention or deliberately yawns to indicate he is bored, he is engaging in

nonverbal communication.

As our discussion thus far suggests, most nonverbal behaviors have a variety of meanings —just as

scratching one's arm can have multiple meanings. Therefore, neither we nor anyone else can provide

you with interpretations for specific nonverbal actions. Perhaps in part because of this difficulty, we

cannot accurately estimate the amount of meaning that nonverbal communication contributes to the

overall meaning in an interaction. This inability is revealed in Did You Know? How Much Does Nonverbal

Communication Contribute to Meaning?, where you can see why it can be difficult to estimate how

much meaning nonverbal components convey in any message.

Did You Know?

How Much Does Nonverbal Communication Contribute to Meaning?

How much of the meaning of a message do you think is conveyed by its nonverbal components? Fifty

percent? Seventy-five percent? One of the most common beliefs about communication is that more than

90 percent of the meaning of a message is transmitted by its nonverbal elements.

However, in truth, we do not know! So where did this belief originate? In 1967, psychologist Albert

Mehrabian (along with Morton Wiener) wrote that 93 percent of the meaning of the utterances he

examined was conveyed through the nonverbal aspects of communication. Specifically, he argued that

38 percent of meaning in his study was derived from paralinguistic cues (tone of voice, etc.) and 55

percent from facial expressions, leaving only 7 percent of meaning to be provided by the verbal message.

After he published his findings, other people, researchers and nonresearchers alike, began to generalize

his claims about his one study to all communicative interactions However, a variety of scholars have

contradicted this claim, either arguing for a different percentage (Birdwhistell, 1985) or suggesting that

one cannot accurately determine how much words, context, nonverbal messages, and other factors

actually contribute to the meaning of an utterance. Those who critique Mehrabian's analysis argue that

his study exhibited several problems. First, it examined how people interpreted the meaning of single

tape-recorded words, which is not how we naturally communicate.

Second, he combined the results of two studies that most scholars believe should not be combined.

Further, he did not consider the contributions to meaning made by gestures and posture. Also, he tried

to estimate the contribution of particular nonverbal behaviors for example, gesture versus facial

expression. In practice, however, no one behavior is particularly useful in determining meaning. In other

words, inferences made about the meaning of any given action are not all that reliable, nor are estimates

of what percentage of the total message a single nonverbal cue communicates.

Nonverbal Communication and the Individual

5.3 Define five nonverbal codes and explain the five functions of nonverbal messages.

If a smile is viewed as communicating pleasure even when the smiler doesn't intend to do so, then why

don't all behaviors that are part of our nonverbal vocabulary always convey the same meaning? The

answer is that assigning one simple meaning to a nonverbal behavior ignores the multiple meanings that

may exist, depending on the context in which the behavior occurs. For example, you will read in this

chapter that when a person leans toward another (called forward body lean), this is often a sign of

interest or involvement. Does that mean that forward body lean always indicates interest? Absolutely

not! A person might lean forward for a variety of reasons: their stomach hurts, the back of their chair is

hot, they are trying to intimidate someone, or their lower back needs to be stretched.

To understand the meaning of a nonverbal behavior you have to consider the entire behavioral context,

including what the person might be communicating verbally (Jones & LeBaron, 2002). Therefore,

interpreting others' nonverbal behavior requires that you consider a variety of factors that can influence

meaning. To interpret nonverbal communication, you also need to know the codes, or symbols and rules,

that signal various messages. Finally, you will benefit from a familiarity with the variety of ways that

nonverbal messages function. These are topics we take up next.

The Individual, Nonverbal Communication, and Society

5.4 Explain how nonverbal communication can both trigger and express prejudice and discrimination.

Nonverbal communication, like all communication, is strongly influenced by societal forces and occurs

within a hierarchical system of meanings. One's status and position within the societal hierarchy, as well

as one's identity, are all expressed nonverbally. However, the more powerful elements in society often

regulate these expressions. In addition, nonverbal communication can trigger and express prejudice and

discrimination. Let's see how this operates.

Ethics and Nonverbal Communication

5.5 Explain how nonverbal communication can be used to communicate unethically.

The ethics of nonverbal communication are actually quite similar to the ethics of communication in

general. When people engage in behavior such as deceiving or threatening others or name-calling, their

nonverbal behavior typically plays a central role in their messages. For instance, liars use nonverbal

behavior to avoid "leaking" the deception, and they may also use it to convey the deceptive message.

Moreover, deceivers may feel that lying nonverbally — for example, by remaining silent-is less "wrong"

than lying with words. In the Old Testament of the Bible, Joseph's brothers were jealous of their father's

affection for him, so they sold Joseph into slavery. When they returned without him, however, they

didn't "tell" their father what happened; instead they gave him Joseph's bloody coat and let their father

draw the conclusion that wild animals had killed Joseph. In this way, they deceived their father without

actually speaking a lie. What do you think? Is it better, or less unethical, to lie nonverbally than it is to do

so verbally?

When communicators use nonverbal cues that ridicule, derogate, or otherwise demean others, they run

the risk of their behavior being viewed by others as unethical. For example, if someone speaks in a

patronizing vocal tone, screams at the less powerful, or touches others inappropriately, would you view

this behavior as unethical? What if people respond to others' communication in a way that

misrepresents how they actually feel? For instance, if they laugh at a racist or sexist joke even though

they dislike it, would you see that behavior as unethical?

Because these are the types of decisions you have to make routinely throughout your life, here are some

guidelines for ethical nonverbal communication to help you make those decisions. Consider whether:

• Your nonverbal behaviors reflect your real attitudes, beliefs, and feelings

• Your nonverbal behaviors contradict the verbal message you are sending

• Your nonverbal behaviors insult, ridicule, or demean others

• You are using your nonverbal behavior to intimidate, coerce, or silence someone

• You would want anyone to observe your nonverbal behavior; and

• You would want this nonverbal behavior directed to you or a loved one.

Although there is no litmus test for evaluating the ethics of every nonverbal message in every situation,

if you keep these guidelines in mind, they will help you make better, more informed decisions.

Improving Your Nonverbal Communication Skills

5.6 Explain how you can improve your ability to interpret nonverbal behavior.

By now you may be wondering how to decide what a set of behaviors means. How do you decide, for

example, if your sports coach's touch is appropriately intimate (service-task) or just intimate? In the

workplace, how can you determine whether your subordinate genuinely likes you and your ideas

(nonverbal involvement) or is merely trying to flatter you (social control)?

One way you can assess your own and others' nonverbal communication is to examine how it interacts

with verbal messages (Jones & LeBaron, 2002). That is, how congruent (similar) are the two sets of

messages? When the two types of messages are congruent, they are often genuine (or we assume them

to be so). For example, a positive verbal message ("I like you") combined with a positive nonverbal

message (smile, forward body lean, relaxed posture) usually conveys a convincing positive message.

However, it is also possible that people who are good at deception are able to offer congruent messages

while lying, and those who are less adept at communicating may unintentionally offer contradictory

messages when telling the truth. Given all of this, what other factors could you rely on to help you

decide whether a congruent message is truthful?

Of course, verbal and nonverbal messages can also purposely contradict one another. When using

sarcasm, people intentionally combine a positive verbal message ("What a nice pair of shoes") with a

contradictory or negative nonverbal message (a hostile tone). However, at other times people offer

contradictory messages unintentionally or carelessly. Caretakers often confuse children (and encourage

misbehavior) by telling a child to stop a particular behavior while smiling or laughing. How does a child

interpret this message? Most children will accept the nonverbal aspect of the message and ignore the

verbal (Eskritt & Lee, 2003).

Your Nonverbal Communication Skills In addition to assessing the congruence of the verbal and

nonverbal components of a message, you improve your comprehension of nonverbal messages by

analyzing the context, your knowledge of the other person, and your own experiences. For example, if

you are playing basketball and a teammate slaps you on the rear and says, "good going," the message

may be clear. Given the context, you may read it as a compliment and perhaps a sign of affection or

intimacy. But what if the slap on the rear occurs at work after an effective presentation? Given that such

behavior is generally inappropriate in a business context, you probably will (and should) more closely

assess its meaning. You might ask yourself whether this person simply lacks social skills and frequently

engages in inappropriate behavior. If so, the message may be inappropriate but still be meant in a

positive fashion. In contrast, if the person knows better and has touched you inappropriately at other

times, the behavior may be intentionally designed to express inappropriate intimacy or social control.

Here are a few more suggestions to keep in mind:

• Recognize that others' nonverbal messages don't always mean the same as yours.

• Be aware of individual, contextual, and cultural factors that influence meaning.

• Ask for additional information if you don't understand a nonverbal message or if you perceive a

contradiction between the verbal and nonverbal messages.

• Remember that not every nonverbal behavior is intended to be communicative.

• Don't place too much emphasis on fleeting nonverbal behaviors such as facial expression or vocal

tone; rather, examine the entire set of nonverbal behaviors.

Non-Verbal Communication

Chapter 6

University of Colorado Denver

The Importance of Listening

7.1 Identify six reasons why listening is important.

You might not understand why it is important to learn about listening. After all, it seems rather automatic, something we don't think about often. As this section shows, improving our listening skills can lead to many personal and professional benefits.

The first important reason for learning more about listening is that we spend so much time doing it! Listening is the primary communication activity for college students (Janusik & Wolvin, 2009), and experts estimate that they spend 55 percent of their total average communication day listening. About half that time is spent in interpersonal listening (class, face-to-face conversations, phone, listening to voice messages) and the other half in media listening (Emanuel et al., 2008). In fact, media listening, in the broadest sense, encompasses a variety of online activities, including social media such as Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and Iwitter, which provide a steady stream of messages Perrin & Anderson, 2019).

Second, having better listening skills can improve your memory, give you a broader knowledge base, and increase your attention span Pasupathi & Billitteri, 2015). The brain is like any other muscle; you have to use it to improve it. The more you exercise it, the better you'll be able to process and remember information. The first step in exercising the brain is to pay better attention when others are speaking. You can t remember something if you never learned it, and you can't learn something —that is, encode it into your brain —if you don't pay enough attention to it.

A third, related reason to learn more about listening is that good listening skills can enhance academic performance. Not surprisingly, a number of research studies have shown that college students who have good listening skills are better students than those who are less effective listeners Ferrari-Bridgers et al., 2017a). Recent research shows that one of the most important outcomes of classes on listening is that students become more aware of what constitutes good listening (Ferrari-Bridgers et al., 2017b). Although this indicates that a college course can help you identify the skills needed to be a good listener, you may need a lot of practice and attention to skill building on your own to become an effective listener. This is what Charee, in the opening vignette, realized.

Better listening is also linked to enhanced personal relationships —a fourth reason to learn more about listening. In earlier chapters, we have discussed how effective communication skills can lead to enhanced personal relationships. This is also true for listening skills. It's easy to understand how better listening can lead to fewer misunderstandings, which in turn can lead to greater satisfaction, happiness, and a sense of well-being for us and those we care about (Floyd, 2014; Manusov et al., 2020).

A fifth reason to improve listening skills is because leaders in many professions have long emphasized that effective listening is a highly desirable workplace skill; in fact, listening is

"extremely important to almost all jobs that require an employee to work in hierarchical teams or to serve customers" (Carnevale, 2013, p. 8), from physicians and nurses (Shafran-Tikva & Kluger, 2018) and social workers but also beauticians (Hanson, 2019), engineering and math professionals (Ferrari-Bridgers et al., 2017a), and many others. This is especially important given that several business studies report that recent undergraduate students tend to lack the effective communication skills to survive in twenty-first-century jobs (Ramos Salazar, 2017). Poor listening skills can be costly; the consequences include wasted meeting time; inaccurate orders/shipments; lost sales; inadequately informed, misinformed, confused, or angry staff and customers; unmet deadlines; unsolved problems; wrong decisions; lawsuits; and poor employee morale (Battell, 2006). In contrast, people with good listening skills are perceived to be more trustworthy, which is important to a variety of work relationships, including physician-patient, salesperson-customer, and supervisor employee (Lloyd et al., 2015). People who are perceived to be good listeners in work settings are likely to be perceived as having leadership qualities (Kluger & Zaidel, 2013), and listening seems to play an interesting role in career advancement as well. One study showed that as workers move into management positions, listening skills become more important (Welch & Mickelson, 2013), particularly listening that involves close attention to the verbal and nonverbal aspects to the message. As more and more organizations expand internationally, managers and nonmanagers find that listening plays an even more important role in their intercultural interactions. As we discuss later in the chapter, effective listening behaviors may vary from culture to culture, and individuals need to understand the influence of culture on listening patterns (Roebuck et al., 2016).

Finally, good listening can actually lead to improved physical health. Some studies show that when we listen attentively, heart rate and oxygen consumption are reduced, which leads to increased blood and oxygen to the brain —a healthy cardiovascular condition (Diamond, 2007). Psychologists and spiritual leaders point out that listening well is critical to our collective emotional health, especially during a pandemic when many people are frightened, sad, grieving, or angry, and need attentive and supportive listeners (Klein, 2020). We'll discuss these strategies later in the chapter.

Now that we've discussed the importance of learning about listening, the next section describes the process of listening, which shows that listening is much more than just hearing what others are saying.

What Is Listening? Four Stages

7.2 Describe the four stages of listening.

The first step in striving to improve listening skills is to understand exactly what we mean when we talk about listening. Thus, we first provide a definition and then describe the process of listening.

Although there are various definitions for listening, the one we'll use is provided by the International Listening Association. Listening is "the process of receiving, constructing meaning

from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages" (International Listening Association, 1995, p. 4; Wolvin, 2013, p. 104). As you can see, this definition includes the concept described in Chapter 1 as the decoding phase of the communication process. While most people think of listening as a holistic activity (Lipetz et al., 2020), it is useful to consider it in four stages: hearing, understanding, evaluating, and responding (Rosenfeld & Berko, 1990).

Let's see how this might work. Hearing occurs when listeners pick up the sound waves directed toward them. Suppose you're sitting in your apartment deep into Instagram and you hear sounds in the kitchen; it's your roommate, Makeva, returning from her part-time job as a delivery driver. She yells out, "Guess what happened at work today." For communication to occur, you must first become aware that information is being directed at you. In other words, you have to hear the sounds. But, of course, hearing something is not the same as understanding or evaluating the information — the next steps. This means that hearing is not the same as listening. Hearing is really only the first step.

Once you sense that sounds are occurring, you have to interpret the messages associated with the sounds —that is, you have to understand what the sounds mean. The meaning you assign affects how you will respond —both physiologically and communicatively. In the example of your roommate, Makeva, you understand her words — she's asking you to guess what happened to her at work that day.

After you understand (or at least believe you understand) the message you have received, you evaluate the information. When you evaluate a message, you assess your reaction to it. For example, what do you think Makeva is really asking you? Did something incredibly important happen to her at work? Or does she ask you this every time she returns from work, so you know it doesn't matter what you answer because she is going to tell you some long, drawn-out story about people to whom she delivers who you don't know? Or is she trying to engage you in conversation because you have both been busy and haven't seen each other much lately? As you can see, critical thinking skills are important in evaluating what you have heard —what are the possible interpretations of the message sent? What are the logical interpretations?

Finally, you respond to messages. Maybe you decide that you really want to hear what Makeva's going to tell you or at least want to have a conversation with her and you tell her so – "No, I can't imagine what happened at work today. Tell me!" Your response provides the most significant evidence to others that you are listening. Responding means that you show others how you regard their messages. For example, you could have responded to Makeva in a sarcastic tone, letting her know that you'll listen but you're not really interested; or you could have just said "hmmm," telling her you don't even want to engage in a conversation. Even failing to respond is a type of response! Not answering a text message or not replying to a tweet or not responding to (liking) a good friend's TikTok video is a response of sort. You can respond in numerous ways; however, your response will be influenced by how you listen.

In his recent book on communication tips If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?), actor Alan Alda encourages readers to respond in conversations based on what they see in another person's behavior. He explains that this type of listening is "responsive listening. [because] real conversation can't happen if listening is just my waiting for you to finish talking" (p. 10). In other words, he is encouraging readers to be active, rather than passive, listeners, actively focusing on the speaker and ignoring all distractions.

In addition to these phases of listening, we need to recognize that the total process of listening as a communication process is complex, involving motivations (we have to want to listen), cognitions, emotions, and behaviors (Bodie et al., 2008). In addition, some communication experts expand the definition of listening to include lurking -following tweets and Instagram and Facebook posts without responding (see Alternative View: Lurkers as Listeners).

Alternative View

Lurkers as Listeners

Some listening experts think we should broaden our definition of listening, suggesting that just by attending to the many new messages we see each day—streaming TikTok videos, seeing Facebook and Instagram posts, following tweets —we are listening, even if we just "lurk" and don't respond. However, there are varying viewpoints about the merits of this type of listening.

On the one hand, some TikTok users clearly express hostility toward lurking listeners (https://www.tiktok.com/tag/lurkers?lang=en), especially directed at exes or "stalkers" (e.g., "kill the b*** that's lurking," "to the girls lurking for my ex, tell him I'm doin great"). And some research suggests that lurking, especially for adolescents with "peer problems," can have negative psychological effects, including depression (Underwood & Ehrenreich, 2017). Also, there is evidence that regular exposure to the "very bad, hateful, awful things" one encounters while lurking is bad for the brain (Lange, 2018).

However, others see it more positively. Writer Joanne McNeil (2020) sees online space as a library, "a civic and independent body" where "everyone is welcome… just for being." And lurking then can be an act like reading, for work or research or general curiosity.

In this view, lurker listeners have an important role, as every public forum needs listeners as well as speakers; every publishing platform needs readers as well as writers. Lurking listeners are necessary to provoke the senders to keep speaking. And anonymity is part of the deal—we can publish our opinions, photos, and texts without knowing exactly who will see them "and that's part of what makes publishing online a hopeful experience" (Lange, 2018).

SOURCES: Lange, J. (2018). Let us lurk. theweek.com. https://theweek.com/articles/804466/let-lurk

McNeil, J. (2020). Lurking: How a person became a user. MCD.

Underwood, M. K., & Ehrenreich, S. E. (2017). The power and the pain of adolescents' digital communication: Cyber victimization and the perils of lurking. The American Psychologist, 72(2), 144-158.

Listening and the Individual: Influences and Barriers

7.3 Describe the influences on listening and barriers to effective listening.

Do you have any friends who are especially good listeners? Any who are not so good? Do you find it easier to listen in some situations than in others?

Although some studies have identified general listening skills (see Communication in Society: The "Big Five" of Listening Competency), there are many factors that influence whether listening in any particular situation is easier or more difficult. In this section, we describe some of these factors, including individual listening styles and individual characteristics such as gender, age, and nationality. Finally, we discuss physical and psychological barriers to listening.

Communication in Society

The "Big Five" of Listening Competency

An online questionnaire asked 1,319 students to describe what it means to be an effective listener. The results revealed the following top or "Big Five" dimensions of effective listening.

Notice how each of these dimensions is associated with the phases of listening (hearing, sensing, and so on). Are there other skills that you would add?

1. Openness or willingness to listen 2. Ability to read nonverbal cues 3. Ability to understand verbal cues 4. Ability to respond appropriately 5. Ability to remember relevant details

Although these skills are important and confirm findings from previous studies, the authors of the study note that other factors, such as age, maturity, and personal experiences, influence an individual's listening competence. In addition, they note that the study design did not address the influence of context or interpersonal relationship.

SOURCE: Cooper, L. O., & Buchanan, T. (2010). Listening competency on campus: A psychometric analysis of student listening. International Journal of Listening, 24(3), 141-163.

The Individual, Listening, and Society: Hierarchy, Contexts, and Community

7.4 Understand the role of societal forces (hierarchy, contexts, and community) in listening.

As emphasized throughout this book, Communication behaviors do not exist solely on the individual level but are a complex interaction of individual and societal factors, reflected in our Synergetic Model of Communication. Let's examine listening as it's affected by three levels of societal forces: social hierarchy, context, and community.

Ethics and Listening

7.5 Describe ethical challenges in listening.

People have several ethical decisions to make about listening. These decisions include choosing what you will listen to and when, as well as how you will respond when listening to other people or to the soundscapes that surround you.

To begin, choosing to listen or not is an ethical decision, in both face-to-face and mediated communication contexts (Beard, 2009; Lacey, 2013). Just because someone wants to tell you something doesn't mean you have to listen. And sometimes the act of listening —or refusing to — means taking a moral stand. For example, let's say a friend of yours tweets a vicious rumor about another person or tells a racist joke. You have an ethical decision to make. How are you going to respond? Are you going to retweet it? Ignore it?

You can tell your friend you don't want to hear any more or even gently explain why you don't want to. Or you can do nothing, sacrificing honesty to avoid making yourself (and others) feel uncomfortable. What are the consequences of each of these decisions? If you listen to something offensive and pass it on, you are in effect agreeing with the tweet. It may be awkward to tell your friend (either at the moment or later) that you don't want to listen to such remarks, but the friend may think twice before sending similar tweets in the future. Obviously, there are no easy answers; you need to consider the consequences and possible outcomes in each situation as you make these ethical decisions.

Let's say you overhear some information or see a text message not intended for you. What are some guidelines for dealing with this information? As we suggested in Chapter 1, You might first consider the expectations of the individual who sent the message. Perhaps this person has made it clear that they want this information kept private. Or you might consider that if you were in this person's position, you would want the information to be kept private. Or perhaps you

know that the sender does not mind if the information is shared more widely —but what about the person to whom the message is addressed? You need to consider their wishes, too. Depending on the privacy expectation, the ethical decision might be to listen to or read the message —or not. Would the sender or addressee feel harmed? Would any benefit result from your listening to the message? The answer to these questions probably depends a great deal on your relationships with the sender and addressee. A close friend may not mind your listening in on messages; someone you don't know very well may object strenuously.

Mediated communication contexts also can pose ethical issues with regard to listening. Communication expert Kate Lacey says we need a special set of listening skills to help us cope with this barrage of messages and to be selective in our listening choices; we train in "public speaking," but not "public listening" (2013, p. 190). She notes that, on the one hand, we have an ethical responsibility to "grant right of audience" to those who would otherwise not be heard because they present opportunities to expand our horizons, as we noted in those who encourage White people to listen to voices previously unheard on social justice issues and solutions (Wilson, 2020), and of course we need to balance openness with critical thinking. On the other hand, much of our social media listening is increasingly narrowed — device settings/apps that program what we hear (music, talk, TV, newsites) to our idiosyncratic preferences (Gottfried & Shearer, 2016). How to counter this narrowed exposure to listening opportunities? Some companies have tried some strategies: Facebook modified the algorithm of the "Trending" page so users would see more news sources on a specific topic; BuzzFeed News has "Outside Your Bubble," a module showing various reactions/comments at the bottom of social media articles. And some communication scholars say that the echo chamber is a bit overstated, that yes, if one only consumes news from social media, one is likely to encounter those with similar ideas, but in a complex, multimedia environment — which is the way people live now because of the Internet -you don't find that, you find people consuming a lot of media (Dubois & Grant, 2018).

Here are some choices we make, as listeners, to become more or less ethical beings, in our mediated world:

1. The choice to cut ourselves off from listening to our immediate environments. As Charee discussed in the chapter opening, we can choose to listen alone (putting on the headset/earbuds), which sometimes might be a positive, self-constructive act. At other times, however (e.g., in a work situation or at home when our relational partner wants to talk), doing so can be isolating and damaging to relationships. 2. The choice to listen selectively. For example, we can choose to listen to media "candy" or to media that enhance and inspire us as people. We can choose to listen to a friend's choice of media, so we can discuss it together, or we can listen only to our own choices. 3. The choice not to listen. For example, in the public arena, we can decide to listen (or not listen) to a political speaker who espouses ideas we oppose. Our choice has a potential impact on us and our thinking because listening implies the possibility of change in attitudes and

behavior. Listening to a political speaker (or even a friend) promoting ideas and beliefs that we disagree with may open us up to ideas previously unexplored or may reinforce our own beliefs. Choosing never to listen to opposing views ensures that we won't alter our beliefs or learn to defend them in a logical and constructive way. 4. The choice to listen together. For example, when we attend a music concert or a political rally, we open ourselves to being part of a community of music fans or political sympathizers (Beard, 2009). The consequences of the decision to listen with a particular community may open up opportunities for new experiences that may alter our future thinking or behavior.

What Would You Do?

Ethical Listening

What Would You Do? Ethical Listening

You have just started a job at a new company. You are a recent college graduate who moved to a new city, so you’re eager to make friends and start off on the right foot. After a few weeks at work, you begin getting to know your co-workers and managers.

In the following scenarios, review how you would respond to various ethical dilemmas that may occur in the workplace.

Scenario 1

Your deskmate needs help coming up with a creative tweet to promote an upcoming event your company is hosting. She wants your opinion on the tweet, so she shows it to you. You are stunned. It relates to the event, but it’s wildly inappropriate for the workplace – and it contains racist language. You know your company would get in big trouble if she sent this tweet out.

At the same time, you really like this co-worker. You think she's generally funny, and see that most social outings are coordinated by her. You want to be her friend, but honestly, you’re pretty offended by the tweet.

What do you do?

Pick from one of the options below:

• Be honest. Tell her the tweet is offensive.

• Speak broadly. Tell her it's funny, but she should consider revising it.

• Lie. Tell her the tweet is funny.

Be honest. Tell her the tweet is offensive.

You decide honesty is the best policy. You explain your co-worker that her tweet is insensitive, and it's likely to get both her – and the company – in trouble. You recommend she revises the tweet before moving forward.

In response, she seems indifferent. She brushes your suggestion off, thanking you for the advice, but stressing that she thinks it's funny and she's going to tweet it anyway.

Speak broadly. Tell her it's funny, but she should consider revising it.

You don't want to be too abrasive, so you laugh when she shows it to you. You say that if she had tweeted it from her personal account, it may be funnier than if she tweeted it from the company's account. You lightly recommend she revise the tweet, but stress that you think she has a great sense of humor.

She thanks you for being honest, and revises the tweet slightly – just not the offensive part.

Lie. Tell her the tweet is funny.

You're new and you don't want to cause a ruckus among your co-workers. You lie and tell her the tweet is funny, despite the fact that you know it is not.

She agrees – she thinks she's funny. She shares the tweet with more co-workers, adding that you think it's funny, and moves ahead with sharing it from the company Twitter.

Scenario 2

The company's executives caught wind of the tweet before it was sent, and they are furious. Your deskmate is called into the vice-president's office and she is reprimanded accordingly. Moreover, your entire department now has to undergo extra sensitivity training because of your co-worker's actions.

Your deskmate returns to her desk in a huff and begins unloading on the executive team, explaining how they are unqualified for their jobs, they are too sensitive, and they don't understand real humor. You disagree entirely. You think the response was justified, the executives made the right call, and you're not entirely sure your deskmate understands real humor.

You don't want to be associated with an employee who acts so unprofessionally, but you do want to salvage some kind of friendship.

How do you respond?

Pick from one of the options below:

• You politely tell her you do not want to be involved.

• You listen for a bit, then lie and say you're too busy to listen.

• You listen actively and allow her to openly vent.

You politely tell her you do not want to be involved.

As she begins her rant against the executives, you politely stop her. You explain that you understand she is frustrated, but this is not a situation you’re re entirely comfortable with, and you'd prefer not to be involved at all.

She does not understand your response and assumes you side with the executives. She storms away in a huff, accusing you of also being too sensitive, and grabs coffee with a few other co-workers.

You listen for a bit, then lie and say you're too busy to listen.

You don't want to be rude, but you definitely don't want to be involved in this workplace drama. You let her vent for a bit, then tell her you really have to get back to work. She understands, thanks you for listening, and tells you that you will continue the conversation later.

You start thinking of lies you can make to get out of that conversation, too.

You listen actively and allow her to openly vent.

You understand that workers vent about their bosses, so surely the executives realize that your co-worker needs to let off some steam, right?

You listen to your co-worker tear the executives a new one. You nod enthusiastically, give some supportive "mmhmms," and even agree during her most viscous attacks.

You are not, however, the only person listening. At the end of her rant, your manager enters your deskspace and explains that you will both be meeting with the HR department separately later that day.

Scenario 3

Despite your best efforts, you get the impression that your deskmate does not like you. It has been two weeks since the Twitter incident. Recently, your deskmate has been particularly short with you, she's inviting everyone but you to after-work events, and you notice she starts vigorously G-chatting once you enter the room.

She generally turns her screen off when she leaves the area, but today, she's left her chat window open. You're not sure if she's gone to a meeting, the restroom, or for a walk, but you are sure she's been sending nasty messages about you to your co-workers.

Now's your chance. You're morbidly curious. Do you read her G-chats?

Pick from one of the options below:

• Yes.

• No.

Yes.

The temptation is too grand. You quickly swivel to her computer and read a few of her G-chats. Much to your surprise, you are not mentioned in a single chat. You find out she has been going through a terrible break-up and having a hard time focusing at work. She apologizes to several people on chat about her recent behavior, and thanks them for supporting her through this tough time.

She walks back in the room right and catches you mouse-handed. You have no excuse, and apologize profusely.

She may not have been G-chatting about you before, but you're more than certain she's G-chatting about you now.

No.

At the end of the day, she's just your co-worker. If she's chatting about you, that's her business. You're starting to make friends in the office, so even if you can't be friends with this girl, you can find those friendships elsewhere.

When she returns, you can tell she's been crying. You find out she recently went through a tough break-up and has been fighting with her ex on G-chat for days. She apologies for being so short with you recently and asks if you'll go grab coffee with her.

Summary

There is no correct way to listen ethically. Every choice you make has consequences, so it's a delicate act of balancing the pros and cons of your decision.

Compare your answers with a classmate. Did he or she respond the same way you did? Which scenario was the toughest to answer? Have you experienced any of these situations in real life?

The point is that all these choices are just that-choices. Although we don't usually consider these types of choices when we think of listening, the decisions we make regarding them do influence our communication life – influencing our communication identity and relationships with those important to us.

Improving Your Listening Skills

7.6 Discuss two ways to improve your own listening behavior.

As we have shown in this chapter, listening (including responding appropriately) is an important communication skill. As is the case with all communication skills, however, there are no surefire, easy recipes for becoming a more effective listener. Still, two guidelines might help you improve.

Listening and Responding

Chapter 7

University of Colorado Denver

Answer the questions ( you can answer the question over the course of a few days! Just make sure to save your answers every time).

Finalize your answers (again, make sure that everything is saved).

Coverage: Chapters one, two, three, four, five, and seven ONLY

This test has 100 points.

Multiple submissions won`t be accepted.

Late submissions (after the grace period ends) won`t be accepted unless there is a valid reason with proof.

Can a question have more than one answer? It might! However, you are supposed to select the BEST answer for every question. If a question has more than one correct answer, you`d earn the credit for it by selecting one of the correct answers.

Giving several answers to a question, hoping that one would stick and you`d get the points, especially in short answers, won't be accepted.

Please do NOT copy answers and examples of short answer questions; this is an open- book exam but the short answers must be in your own words at least.

Look, I`m not going to sugarcoat it, the stakes are high with this assignment!