Option B…5014..wk4
If you are unable to participate in the synchronous webinar, look for a link to the recording of the webinar in the Announcements section, where your instructor will post it. Watch the recording once it has been posted in the courseroom.
To satisfy Option B, you must watch the recording of the synchronous webinar and complete all of the following:
- Submit a one-page reflection on the impact of the ACE study and how it relates to social work practice.
- Complete a one-page reflection paper answering the following questions:
- Why is it important for social workers to know and be familiar with trauma?
- How does a trauma-informed approach align with social work ethics and values?
- What are specific ways you can practice as a trauma-informed social worker?
WEBVTT 00:06:20.000 –> 00:06:23.000 Catch me. 00:06:23.000 –> 00:06:41.000 Try hard to love me. 00:06:41.000 –> 00:06:45.000 Have you seen my childhood? 00:06:45.000 –> 00:06:59.000 Hello. 00:06:59.000 –> 00:07:12.000 Thank you. 00:07:12.000 –> 00:07:21.000 Cause I love such 00:07:21.000 –> 00:07:29.000 It's beautiful. 00:07:29.000 –> 00:07:47.000 For the child. 00:07:47.000 –> 00:07:50.000 Have you seen my child? 00:07:50.000 –> 00:07:53.000 Good. 00:07:53.000 –> 00:07:56.000 I'm searching for that wandering 00:07:56.000 –> 00:08:00.000 my youth like fantastic 00:08:00.000 –> 00:08:03.000 stories to share. 00:08:03.000 –> 00:08:17.000 Dreams I would dare. 00:08:17.000 –> 00:08:28.000 Try hard to love me. The painful for you 00:08:28.000 –> 00:08:39.000 I've had. 00:08:39.000 –> 00:08:42.000 Have you seen? 00:08:42.000 –> 00:09:00.000 My child. 00:09:00.000 –> 00:09:06.000 Okay. 00:09:06.000 –> 00:09:08.000 Finally. 00:09:08.000 –> 00:09:11.000 childhood trauma. 00:09:11.000 –> 00:09:16.000 What stood out for you as you listened to those words? 00:09:16.000 –> 00:09:21.000 Childhood. 00:09:21.000 –> 00:09:31.000 It reminded me of how sometimes you talk about the parentification of children who've been in abusive homes who end up having to be the parent. 00:09:31.000 –> 00:09:32.000 Mm-hmm. 00:09:32.000 –> 00:09:34.000 And it just it made me think about that when he's like. 00:09:34.000 –> 00:09:36.000 Because obviously you're seeing kids and all in it. 00:09:36.000 –> 00:09:39.000 And he was a child, but he never really had. 00:09:39.000 –> 00:09:42.000 what we would consider a normal childhood. 00:09:42.000 –> 00:09:45.000 A normal childhood. Hmm. 00:09:45.000 –> 00:09:47.000 What's a normal childhood? 00:09:47.000 –> 00:09:51.000 I guess an unabusive one is what I mean. 00:09:51.000 –> 00:09:53.000 I hear you. 00:09:53.000 –> 00:09:57.000 ask myself that question all the time. 00:09:57.000 –> 00:09:59.000 what's normal? 00:09:59.000 –> 00:10:04.000 Daddy, mommy, two kids, car, two garage, house. 00:10:04.000 –> 00:10:09.000 corn, a cat, the dog, a parakeet. 00:10:09.000 –> 00:10:12.000 Is that normal? 00:10:12.000 –> 00:10:16.000 Have you seen my childhood? 00:10:16.000 –> 00:10:18.000 In order to understand me. 00:10:18.000 –> 00:10:20.000 Oliver James Davis, have you really 00:10:20.000 –> 00:10:25.000 Taking the time to see my childhood. 00:10:25.000 –> 00:10:26.000 What else stood out for you? 00:10:26.000 –> 00:10:29.000 We're going to talk about this tonight. 00:10:29.000 –> 00:10:30.000 Thank you. 00:10:30.000 –> 00:10:33.000 I saw the way he was sitting almost in a vulnerable state 00:10:33.000 –> 00:10:34.000 Mm-hmm. 00:10:34.000 –> 00:10:36.000 just very closed offish. 00:10:36.000 –> 00:10:37.000 Hmm. 00:10:37.000 –> 00:10:41.000 very shy, didn't want to 00:10:41.000 –> 00:10:44.000 kind of very closed off. 00:10:44.000 –> 00:10:46.000 What does that mean to you? 00:10:46.000 –> 00:10:51.000 Almost trying to protect his inner self. 00:10:51.000 –> 00:10:53.000 You know, didn't want to put 00:10:53.000 –> 00:10:56.000 himself out there. 00:10:56.000 –> 00:10:58.000 If you sat in front of my grandmother. 00:10:58.000 –> 00:11:02.000 And I had my arms. I can still see it. She's been gone now. 00:11:02.000 –> 00:11:08.000 For 23 years. But I could still see it. I'm sitting on her couch. 00:11:08.000 –> 00:11:12.000 And I would plop down and I would have my arms like this and she'll look over at me. 00:11:12.000 –> 00:11:15.000 She said, boy, what you holding on to? 00:11:15.000 –> 00:11:19.000 I said, huh? She said, what you holding on to? 00:11:19.000 –> 00:11:25.000 She said, what you holding on to? What's bothering you? 00:11:25.000 –> 00:11:28.000 What am I holding on to? 00:11:28.000 –> 00:11:32.000 Within the last 24 hours, I've had four people that died that I know. 00:11:32.000 –> 00:11:36.000 And so on Facebook, it's been crazy. 00:11:36.000 –> 00:11:41.000 What am I holding on to this pain? 00:11:41.000 –> 00:11:48.000 you couldn't see that in my bow tie. You couldn't see that. I'm dressed up in Halloween colors. 00:11:48.000 –> 00:11:54.000 What are our kids holding on to when they come to our schools, when they come to our therapy sessions? 00:11:54.000 –> 00:11:57.000 And grandma, if she saw you holding like that. 00:11:57.000 –> 00:12:01.000 Because this is a vulnerable state. Anybody scared of terror blinks on the plane? 00:12:01.000 –> 00:12:03.000 Besides me. 00:12:03.000 –> 00:12:10.000 Okay, yeah, I know. Okay. I know some of y'all don't want to admit it, but I am. I will admit that I have anxiety and I'm sitting up there. 00:12:10.000 –> 00:12:20.000 In fact, I had a blow on the plane. The flight attendant said, you need a therapist one time. I said, I am a therapist. Just pass me the bag, please. Just pass me the bag. 00:12:20.000 –> 00:12:22.000 So sweet. 00:12:22.000 –> 00:12:31.000 Goodness. And I held on and held on. The best time I had it, I had a nun sitting next to me. She had a little rosary. I said, pray for me, please. 00:12:31.000 –> 00:12:36.000 We're going down. At least we'll go down with a prayer. 00:12:36.000 –> 00:12:40.000 So, you know, it's amazing what we hold on to the trauma 00:12:40.000 –> 00:12:43.000 the fear that we hold on to. 00:12:43.000 –> 00:12:47.000 I think today a lot of the kids fear their safety. 00:12:47.000 –> 00:12:52.000 Going to school. And I remember going to school. I didn't have to have those fears. 00:12:52.000 –> 00:12:54.000 Hmm. 00:12:54.000 –> 00:12:56.000 When they get to school. 00:12:56.000 –> 00:13:00.000 They fear walking, going to the bus stop. We have fights at the bus stop. 00:13:00.000 –> 00:13:03.000 A little girl came to me this morning. 00:13:03.000 –> 00:13:06.000 And this girl had threatened her. I decided to get on the bus with her? No. 00:13:06.000 –> 00:13:10.000 That's where they have to start off with out there on the bus because they're on the bus 00:13:10.000 –> 00:13:13.000 I had to go talk to the bus driver. I have to have another setup. 00:13:13.000 –> 00:13:16.000 up there at your bus stop. 00:13:16.000 –> 00:13:19.000 Where's the fear coming from? What's holding them in? 00:13:19.000 –> 00:13:22.000 Whereas making them vulnerable, you notice where he was sitting. 00:13:22.000 –> 00:13:26.000 I think sometimes, because I also work in a middle school 00:13:26.000 –> 00:13:29.000 And what they fear 00:13:29.000 –> 00:13:32.000 Because when they get to school. 00:13:32.000 –> 00:13:36.000 you know they've left home, they've left the responsibilities, they've left that there 00:13:36.000 –> 00:13:43.000 they have a whole different set of anxieties. How do I look? How am I dressed? Are people talking about me? 00:13:43.000 –> 00:13:45.000 is the gossip train circling. 00:13:45.000 –> 00:13:54.000 to the point that it's created so much anxiety. We've had three fights this week that they happen like just at the edge of school and the library. 00:13:54.000 –> 00:13:58.000 So they don't think that there's any ramifications 00:13:58.000 –> 00:14:07.000 And now it's created the fear of that safety of I leave home and I come to school and then I leave again, is something going to happen to me? 00:14:07.000 –> 00:14:09.000 Yeah. 00:14:09.000 –> 00:14:11.000 Safety, scary. 00:14:11.000 –> 00:14:15.000 I can't focus if I'm going to get beat up 00:14:15.000 –> 00:14:17.000 Mm-hmm. 00:14:17.000 –> 00:14:21.000 Oh, there's a Russian up there today. I saw some kids rushing. 00:14:21.000 –> 00:14:25.000 Because they want to make sure they get breakfast. 00:14:25.000 –> 00:14:28.000 They don't get breakfast and not lunch. 00:14:28.000 –> 00:14:31.000 They don't get fed. 00:14:31.000 –> 00:14:35.000 Breakfast and lunch is the only meals they get. 00:14:35.000 –> 00:14:38.000 I used to, I live here in South Bend, Indiana. 00:14:38.000 –> 00:14:41.000 And it snows here a lot. 00:14:41.000 –> 00:14:44.000 Sometimes 15, 20 plus inches. 00:14:44.000 –> 00:14:48.000 And when they just say, South Bend School is closed. I said, yay. 00:14:48.000 –> 00:14:53.000 Jump back in my bed and I slept like a little kid. 00:14:53.000 –> 00:14:55.000 And then I thought about it. 00:14:55.000 –> 00:15:03.000 When we know a storm is coming, we can do a little bit better. We have, but sometimes this shows up on us because we have lake effects now. 00:15:03.000 –> 00:15:10.000 And that means that that day, those kids won't get fed. 00:15:10.000 –> 00:15:13.000 So as I jump up and down. 00:15:13.000 –> 00:15:20.000 For them, they're not going to jump up and down because they have to stay around the house with no food. 00:15:20.000 –> 00:15:24.000 makes you think again. Have you seen my childhood? 00:15:24.000 –> 00:15:26.000 My childhood doesn't like to have 00:15:26.000 –> 00:15:29.000 school closed because my meals are gone. 00:15:29.000 –> 00:15:33.000 My breakfast is gone. My lunch is gone. My afternoon snack is gone. 00:15:33.000 –> 00:15:36.000 or have to stay in an abusive house. 00:15:36.000 –> 00:15:42.000 During COVID was rough. More challenges, more issues than everything else was amazing. 00:15:42.000 –> 00:15:45.000 Have you seen my childhood? Some of the words. 00:15:45.000 –> 00:15:48.000 It says this. 00:15:48.000 –> 00:15:52.000 Before you judge me. 00:15:52.000 –> 00:15:56.000 Try hard to love me. 00:15:56.000 –> 00:15:59.000 Before you judge me. 00:15:59.000 –> 00:16:04.000 Try hard to let me. He said it several times through the song. 00:16:04.000 –> 00:16:06.000 What comes to mind? 00:16:06.000 –> 00:16:08.000 I actually wrote those words down. 00:16:08.000 –> 00:16:10.000 When the song was playing, I wrote the book. 00:16:10.000 –> 00:16:11.000 Yeah. 00:16:11.000 –> 00:16:13.000 Great judgment try to love me as the 00:16:13.000 –> 00:16:16.000 The thing that stuck out to me most and then um 00:16:16.000 –> 00:16:20.000 Next to it, I wrote, instead of just looking at what you see initially superficially. 00:16:20.000 –> 00:16:24.000 Take the time to see me as a story. 00:16:24.000 –> 00:16:25.000 And my parents. 00:16:25.000 –> 00:16:27.000 Tell me more about the story. 00:16:27.000 –> 00:16:36.000 You know, I remember watching one of the first things that comes to mind right now is just this Instagram post that I saw some time ago. 00:16:36.000 –> 00:16:41.000 And this woman said it in another way. She says, I am not just this event. 00:16:41.000 –> 00:16:43.000 I am a series of events. 00:16:43.000 –> 00:16:44.000 Oh. 00:16:44.000 –> 00:16:48.000 And they all connect somehow. You know, she's going on this rant and rave, but I was like. 00:16:48.000 –> 00:16:51.000 Yeah. So in that moment. 00:16:51.000 –> 00:16:57.000 Somebody had like said, you know, you look crazy or you look cuckoo. She's like, fine. I look cuckoo. 00:16:57.000 –> 00:17:01.000 But this is just one event. You didn't see all the other ones leading up to this. 00:17:01.000 –> 00:17:02.000 Mm-hmm. 00:17:02.000 –> 00:17:04.000 And I'm right so um 00:17:04.000 –> 00:17:13.000 It's like all the different narratives, all of the different roles we play, all the different masks that we wear. Like somebody said you know going 00:17:13.000 –> 00:17:23.000 to school there's a whole new set of, I think Kimberly said, you know, going to school, there's a whole new set of anxieties, the new set at home, because we're wearing different masks. We're putting on different roles. 00:17:23.000 –> 00:17:26.000 We are fulfilling different narratives. 00:17:26.000 –> 00:17:27.000 Mm-hmm. 00:17:27.000 –> 00:17:35.000 All led by like different archetypes or what are like what we, you know, our preconceptions and our misconceptions or maybe some of the things that we have right 00:17:35.000 –> 00:17:36.000 Well. 00:17:36.000 –> 00:17:39.000 about the world, carrying all of that with us all the time. 00:17:39.000 –> 00:17:40.000 Before you judge me. 00:17:40.000 –> 00:17:41.000 Yeah, to be seen. 00:17:41.000 –> 00:17:44.000 Here are my series of stories. 00:17:44.000 –> 00:17:47.000 Yes, yes. It's so complex. 00:17:47.000 –> 00:17:49.000 But at the root at the root 00:17:49.000 –> 00:17:54.000 like hopefully we can find some commonalities, at least through feelings, if nothing else, you know? 00:17:54.000 –> 00:18:00.000 Okay, Glass, you've just heard our whole presentation for tonight. Thank you. Have a good night. 00:18:00.000 –> 00:18:04.000 You slammed it up nicely but 00:18:04.000 –> 00:18:07.000 Good. It's my anniversary today, 21 years. 00:18:07.000 –> 00:18:13.000 Oh, cool. And you are different in your snapshot today than you were 21 years ago. 00:18:13.000 –> 00:18:15.000 Oh, yes, I am. 00:18:15.000 –> 00:18:19.000 You know, and seeing the different series of my life 00:18:19.000 –> 00:18:23.000 It's interesting when I look at them 00:18:23.000 –> 00:18:26.000 the good parts, the sad parts. 00:18:26.000 –> 00:18:30.000 Today I've been going through a lot of pictures with my friends who have passed. 00:18:30.000 –> 00:18:33.000 And I saw some of them. I'm like, wow. 00:18:33.000 –> 00:18:38.000 You know, I've learned to keep pictures. 00:18:38.000 –> 00:18:40.000 I've learned to keep pictures of my 00:18:40.000 –> 00:18:43.000 victories and a few pictures of my losses. 00:18:43.000 –> 00:18:46.000 Because they're all different series of me. 00:18:46.000 –> 00:18:49.000 If I only keep pictures of my victories. 00:18:49.000 –> 00:18:51.000 That's unrealistic. 00:18:51.000 –> 00:19:01.000 And I don't know how to plan for down times. I've only keep pictures of my sad times. That's also unrealistic. And it's too depressing. I don't know how to make it. 00:19:01.000 –> 00:19:03.000 Keeping pictures of both. 00:19:03.000 –> 00:19:05.000 balances me out. 00:19:05.000 –> 00:19:07.000 Have you seen my childhood? 00:19:07.000 –> 00:19:09.000 He says, before you loved me. 00:19:09.000 –> 00:19:12.000 Another one says, um. 00:19:12.000 –> 00:19:17.000 The painful youth I've had. 00:19:17.000 –> 00:19:20.000 What pains have youth had? 00:19:20.000 –> 00:19:23.000 what's been their pains before they come to see you? 00:19:23.000 –> 00:19:27.000 or while they are still seeing you. Young Mandy Day, I've known him since 00:19:27.000 –> 00:19:29.000 No, I'm going to my second year. 00:19:29.000 –> 00:19:33.000 He asked to see me today. I was rushing and doing something else. And I was in the office. 00:19:33.000 –> 00:19:36.000 And he said, is Mr. Davis there? 00:19:36.000 –> 00:19:41.000 And then I looked down because when somebody just calls my name, I know they have personally requested and I recognize their voice. 00:19:41.000 –> 00:19:46.000 And I said, I have something else to do, but can you wait for a few minutes? He said, yeah, I'll wait. 00:19:46.000 –> 00:19:51.000 And I was looking at it because I said, he's not in trouble. What's going on? 00:19:51.000 –> 00:19:54.000 So after I finished my other situation, I caught a man. 00:19:54.000 –> 00:19:56.000 I said, what's up, man? 00:19:56.000 –> 00:20:02.000 A parent announced to me this week they're going through a divorce. 00:20:02.000 –> 00:20:07.000 And they said it's hard to focus as and you said, mm-hmm. 00:20:07.000 –> 00:20:10.000 We just pause for a few minutes. 00:20:10.000 –> 00:20:18.000 Instead of top it off, my dad got arrested this weekend too. 00:20:18.000 –> 00:20:21.000 Here we are on Thursday. 00:20:21.000 –> 00:20:24.000 We couldn't focus this weekend and asked to see me. 00:20:24.000 –> 00:20:27.000 You can play Uno all the time last year. 00:20:27.000 –> 00:20:29.000 Pretty good player. 00:20:29.000 –> 00:20:33.000 In sixth grade, and so I hadn't seen him and he came and asked for me to dare. 00:20:33.000 –> 00:20:37.000 We just sat there and I said, I need you to check with me for a few weeks. 00:20:37.000 –> 00:20:39.000 Because this is not going away today. 00:20:39.000 –> 00:20:43.000 He says, I know. 00:20:43.000 –> 00:20:45.000 Mm-hmm. 00:20:45.000 –> 00:20:47.000 The painful youth 00:20:47.000 –> 00:20:50.000 I have. 00:20:50.000 –> 00:20:54.000 Have you seen my childhood? 00:20:54.000 –> 00:20:58.000 We checked in for about 15 minutes and he sent him on back to class. 00:20:58.000 –> 00:21:02.000 So sometimes we're checking for five minutes, other times we're checking for 10. 00:21:02.000 –> 00:21:07.000 He said, I know where you are. I said, cool. 00:21:07.000 –> 00:21:09.000 Kind of cool having a 00:21:09.000 –> 00:21:14.000 12-year-old come look for you. 00:21:14.000 –> 00:21:18.000 Share his pain. 00:21:18.000 –> 00:21:22.000 get a little pep talk and head on back to class. 00:21:22.000 –> 00:21:28.000 What's your thoughts? 00:21:28.000 –> 00:21:32.000 I really particularly heard him 00:21:32.000 –> 00:21:34.000 When he said, um. 00:21:34.000 –> 00:21:37.000 the wonder of childhood. 00:21:37.000 –> 00:21:38.000 And… 00:21:38.000 –> 00:21:40.000 Go for it. Tell him about that. 00:21:40.000 –> 00:21:41.000 Uh-huh. 00:21:41.000 –> 00:21:42.000 Say, go for it. Tell me. 00:21:42.000 –> 00:21:46.000 Oh, and so it made me think of not only like 00:21:46.000 –> 00:21:52.000 the like of the admiration of wonder of childhood, but also of like 00:21:52.000 –> 00:22:00.000 And the mysticism behind childhood of like, you know, how this big world that we don't know, but also these 00:22:00.000 –> 00:22:02.000 unfamiliar things 00:22:02.000 –> 00:22:09.000 that children experience that they don't quite understand like particularly like a divorce 00:22:09.000 –> 00:22:12.000 like so what is all of that about? 00:22:12.000 –> 00:22:21.000 And so how do they figure out that? And then so how does that play into the rest of their life? So that's where my mind went when I heard that, what he said, based on the 00:22:21.000 –> 00:22:23.000 topic that you're talking about. 00:22:23.000 –> 00:22:25.000 Hmm. 00:22:25.000 –> 00:22:31.000 I told him, I said, if you had asked me that several years ago, I really wouldn't understand. But now that I've gone through it. 00:22:31.000 –> 00:22:34.000 I said it's crazy. 00:22:34.000 –> 00:22:39.000 He nodded his hair. 00:22:39.000 –> 00:22:43.000 It's crazy. 00:22:43.000 –> 00:22:45.000 The wonder. 00:22:45.000 –> 00:22:48.000 When you think about wonder, you think about 00:22:48.000 –> 00:22:51.000 And something that's great, grand and wonderful. 00:22:51.000 –> 00:22:56.000 Wonder Woman, Child of Wonder, child of, you know, wonder something great Christmas time. 00:22:56.000 –> 00:22:59.000 Wonder. 00:22:59.000 –> 00:23:05.000 But sometimes that wonder is not so great. 00:23:05.000 –> 00:23:10.000 Aim for youth I've had. 00:23:10.000 –> 00:23:13.000 And at a master's level. 00:23:13.000 –> 00:23:17.000 I use my systems theory as a camera. 00:23:17.000 –> 00:23:21.000 I didn't add this to my thing, but I'll go to it real quick, real quick. 00:23:21.000 –> 00:23:23.000 Before I go to my next one. 00:23:23.000 –> 00:23:28.000 I have to because my head is there. 00:23:28.000 –> 00:23:32.000 My head is there, I'm going to go to there. 00:23:32.000 –> 00:23:55.000 What I really appreciate about the Google Career Certificate is you're not just sticking your nose in it. 00:23:55.000 –> 00:23:57.000 And I look at these cameras. 00:23:57.000 –> 00:24:00.000 at the bachelor's level. 00:24:00.000 –> 00:24:04.000 They may just have a simple cell phone camera. 00:24:04.000 –> 00:24:06.000 At the master's level. 00:24:06.000 –> 00:24:10.000 And higher as we get to the graduate level. 00:24:10.000 –> 00:24:14.000 we start using these professional cameras. 00:24:14.000 –> 00:24:17.000 As we look for the painful childhoods, we 00:24:17.000 –> 00:24:24.000 What's the difference of these kind of cameras versus the ones that's on your cell phone? 00:24:24.000 –> 00:24:28.000 This one is specifically made for taking pictures. 00:24:28.000 –> 00:24:32.000 or by capturing an image or a moment or 00:24:32.000 –> 00:24:33.000 Mm-hmm. 00:24:33.000 –> 00:24:38.000 Whereas the other device, it's kind of like being a jack of all trades and having all of that, but this one having like 00:24:38.000 –> 00:24:40.000 Focus. 00:24:40.000 –> 00:24:42.000 having focus. 00:24:42.000 –> 00:24:50.000 And it's specifically made. You are being specifically trained in this course and with the MSW to see things that you did not see prior to coming in here. 00:24:50.000 –> 00:24:53.000 You may have seen some Jacksonville trade things. 00:24:53.000 –> 00:24:58.000 But you will be able to hopefully, as you study and practice with the 00:24:58.000 –> 00:25:01.000 Sanchez family and all these other ones. 00:25:01.000 –> 00:25:05.000 you're going to be able to zero in with that cannon. 00:25:05.000 –> 00:25:07.000 and see things 00:25:07.000 –> 00:25:09.000 that others may not see. 00:25:09.000 –> 00:25:13.000 where they see a sun, you see the pain 00:25:13.000 –> 00:25:15.000 in that boy, in that girl. 00:25:15.000 –> 00:25:19.000 you see the pain in that mom of them there isn't it? 00:25:19.000 –> 00:25:21.000 you feel it. 00:25:21.000 –> 00:25:24.000 And you hear it in a different way. 00:25:24.000 –> 00:25:27.000 And you're able to adjust your camera. 00:25:27.000 –> 00:25:29.000 to see him. 00:25:29.000 –> 00:25:32.000 What's your thoughts? 00:25:32.000 –> 00:25:37.000 I think that with this camera too, the difference is you can edit a lot more. 00:25:37.000 –> 00:25:40.000 Tell me more about that editing. 00:25:40.000 –> 00:25:45.000 You know, you can do basic edits on like an iPhone with your pictures but 00:25:45.000 –> 00:25:50.000 I mean, I don't have a professional camera, but I'm assuming it has more functionality 00:25:50.000 –> 00:25:53.000 to like photoshop 00:25:53.000 –> 00:25:55.000 um to 00:25:55.000 –> 00:26:00.000 take out, I mean, yeah, Photoshop, like take out stuff that's there, add stuff that's not there. 00:26:00.000 –> 00:26:09.000 change the coloring, the brightness, the settings and things of that nature. So you can really, and it depends on who's operating the camera too. 00:26:09.000 –> 00:26:15.000 you know a professional photographer can really take nothing and make it into something with a lot of editing. 00:26:15.000 –> 00:26:18.000 A lot of editing, they go into that dark room. 00:26:18.000 –> 00:26:21.000 And being able to see things. 00:26:21.000 –> 00:26:25.000 We're learning how to work and edit in that dark room. 00:26:25.000 –> 00:26:29.000 to be understand, to understand the painful use 00:26:29.000 –> 00:26:35.000 to hear issues about the childhood, the searching for the wonder in youth. 00:26:35.000 –> 00:26:39.000 People say that I'm strange. 00:26:39.000 –> 00:26:41.000 You'll be able to see strange things 00:26:41.000 –> 00:26:44.000 through this camera. 00:26:44.000 –> 00:26:48.000 And then they don't become so strange to you anymore. 00:26:48.000 –> 00:26:50.000 When I first got to middle school. 00:26:50.000 –> 00:26:55.000 I had not really experienced, I've heard about it and read about it, of course, being a therapist 00:26:55.000 –> 00:27:00.000 But I had not experienced all the cutting, childhood cutting that I went through a few years ago. 00:27:00.000 –> 00:27:05.000 Sixth grade was cutting like crazy. I mean, it was just like a fad going through sixth grade. 00:27:05.000 –> 00:27:07.000 cutting after cutting parents coming up there 00:27:07.000 –> 00:27:11.000 And this time of year, I'm getting caught, Mr. Davis, Mr. Davis. 00:27:11.000 –> 00:27:17.000 Oh, sir, come and see my friend. I'm like, you know, open up, take the arm, me and the nurse, we've been there so many times. 00:27:17.000 –> 00:27:19.000 kids cutting, cutting. 00:27:19.000 –> 00:27:24.000 It was strange to me at first, but then it became normal. 00:27:24.000 –> 00:27:28.000 I hated it. It became normal, but it really did. 00:27:28.000 –> 00:27:36.000 And having to see the pain behind all the cutting that went on. And it wasn't just the girls. It wasn't just one race. We had boys cutting, girls cutting. 00:27:36.000 –> 00:27:49.000 cutting their arms, cutting their shirts, cutting that. They would rather focus on the pain of having a painful arm than going through the pain of their parents divorce or going through, we have several kids that were going through transitions 00:27:49.000 –> 00:27:52.000 One started sixth grade, seventh grade. 00:27:52.000 –> 00:27:55.000 from being a boy to being a girl. 00:27:55.000 –> 00:27:57.000 And the transition of all of that. 00:27:57.000 –> 00:27:59.000 had to go through a sour 00:27:59.000 –> 00:28:02.000 Just a lot of pain. 00:28:02.000 –> 00:28:04.000 And so what seems strange to me 00:28:04.000 –> 00:28:12.000 When I started focusing in on my camera, my professional camera, learning more about it really became clearer to me. 00:28:12.000 –> 00:28:22.000 Your thoughts? 00:28:22.000 –> 00:28:25.000 the camera. 00:28:25.000 –> 00:28:28.000 I would agree with what you're saying i'm just taking 00:28:28.000 –> 00:28:32.000 I've done social type work for a long time. 00:28:32.000 –> 00:28:37.000 I'm working with CPS when I first started 00:28:37.000 –> 00:28:46.000 we're seeing things from a very small lens, like, you know, seeing the worst that people can do to themselves and each other and their children 00:28:46.000 –> 00:28:56.000 But as I learn more and agree more in the profession, and obviously this is my second master, so learning through that process and now this i've got like 00:28:56.000 –> 00:28:59.000 the big lens going now where 00:28:59.000 –> 00:29:04.000 things are so much bigger than that moment and so much bigger than this 00:29:04.000 –> 00:29:07.000 child abuse and neglect case it's 00:29:07.000 –> 00:29:19.000 not just one moment, but that's also not necessarily always what you see first, like a bad parent, an abusive parent. There's a bigger picture and a bigger lens. 00:29:19.000 –> 00:29:21.000 And sometimes it does take 00:29:21.000 –> 00:29:23.000 those little minute details 00:29:23.000 –> 00:29:26.000 that you can see with that bigger lens. 00:29:26.000 –> 00:29:33.000 to be able to pinpoint where some of the difficulty or trauma is and how to better help them. 00:29:33.000 –> 00:29:39.000 Yeah. Years ago, I was working with a group of students and um 00:29:39.000 –> 00:29:42.000 the person we would go on home visits. 00:29:42.000 –> 00:29:51.000 And when they were given their reports, the person was talking about, well, when I walked in the house, there were roaches, there was this, there was that. And I finally stopped. And I said, excuse me. 00:29:51.000 –> 00:29:55.000 I said, who's your client? The roach or the person? 00:29:55.000 –> 00:29:58.000 I said, who's your client? 00:29:58.000 –> 00:30:03.000 You started off talking about the roaches and things that were in the house. 00:30:03.000 –> 00:30:09.000 Yeah, but there were roaches, but why did you start off with that? What's the roach your client? 00:30:09.000 –> 00:30:13.000 Well, I didn't want them on my clothes. You can clean your clothes. 00:30:13.000 –> 00:30:16.000 Take your clothes to laundry. 00:30:16.000 –> 00:30:18.000 You can do other things. 00:30:18.000 –> 00:30:25.000 Who's your client? Were you focusing in? Was your camera focused so much on that roach, that spider? 00:30:25.000 –> 00:30:35.000 I'm not saying to ignore it. I understand I've had to do home visits. I had to do home assessments. I understand that I've had to write up to how the house was not so tidy and other things. I'm not going to ignore it. 00:30:35.000 –> 00:30:39.000 But as my main part of the lens on the roaches that are running up and down the house? 00:30:39.000 –> 00:30:47.000 or my client. 00:30:47.000 –> 00:30:52.000 And so what are your, what do you go into, is it all the smell? 00:30:52.000 –> 00:30:57.000 There's a smell of poverty that is really true. I've worked in Alabama. I've worked in Ohio, worked in Indiana. 00:30:57.000 –> 00:31:01.000 I've worked in Michigan and all four states. 00:31:01.000 –> 00:31:06.000 You know, when I've gone to homes and poverty, I've done home visits in all four states 00:31:06.000 –> 00:31:09.000 In various cities in these states. 00:31:09.000 –> 00:31:11.000 But poverty smells the same to me. 00:31:11.000 –> 00:31:19.000 where there was country pop. Well, real poverty has a little bit different because you're going to add some animals, some chickens and some dogs and some other stuff in there. You're going to spice it up or something. 00:31:19.000 –> 00:31:22.000 It's amazing. But, um. 00:31:22.000 –> 00:31:26.000 Still, poverty has a certain smell. 00:31:26.000 –> 00:31:30.000 Who's your client, the roach? 00:31:30.000 –> 00:31:36.000 What do you see when you walk into a home that's when you see somebody that comes in, mom is not dressed right, daddy's not dressed right. 00:31:36.000 –> 00:32:02.000 They got silver teeth and missing tooth. What do you see when you're talking to them? 00:32:02.000 –> 00:32:03.000 Okay. 00:32:03.000 –> 00:32:06.000 you see some things that look strange to you because you may have grown up in a two-parent home, mom, dad, or it may look strange with you that you may have grown up in a single home or you may have grown up with mom and mom or dad and dad. So now you're working with another family because now once you get out of your own home and you start working with other homes, things may look strange to you. 00:32:06.000 –> 00:32:16.000 And one of my classes where I was working my master's at Ohio State, I was the only African-American in the class. Every time they had a diversity question, kept asking me and asking me. One of my classmates said to me. 00:32:16.000 –> 00:32:21.000 I know you get tired of asking, answering the questions when we do that. I said, yeah, I'm kind of sick of it. 00:32:21.000 –> 00:32:28.000 But she told me this and I'll never forget it. She said, you're the first African-American male I've ever met in person. 00:32:28.000 –> 00:32:41.000 I grew up in an all-white neighborhood with all white schools. I went to all white churches. I went to everything white. Everything in my life has been white. I came here to school. You're the first person. And when I went to my caseload, my caseload is all black. 00:32:41.000 –> 00:32:49.000 And you're the first one. So everything you're saying, I'm writing down because I have no experience in working with my caseload. 00:32:49.000 –> 00:32:51.000 And I said, okay. 00:32:51.000 –> 00:32:55.000 And sometimes I've switched what 00:32:55.000 –> 00:32:57.000 That was strange for her. What's been strange for you? 00:32:57.000 –> 00:33:03.000 different populations, distant backgrounds are strange. 00:33:03.000 –> 00:33:09.000 What's your thoughts when you think of strains working with different backgrounds? 00:33:09.000 –> 00:33:13.000 I worked for a long time as a 00:33:13.000 –> 00:33:22.000 a service coordinator from that. I worked in APS for a long time. So I got to see a lot of 00:33:22.000 –> 00:33:27.000 different backgrounds, cultures, the way people live. 00:33:27.000 –> 00:33:30.000 Sometimes, uh. 00:33:30.000 –> 00:33:32.000 you know one ethnicity 00:33:32.000 –> 00:33:35.000 or one set race. 00:33:35.000 –> 00:33:39.000 like you kind of already know what you're going into and 00:33:39.000 –> 00:33:43.000 Sadly, I, you know, I would see a name 00:33:43.000 –> 00:33:46.000 And I already became biased. 00:33:46.000 –> 00:33:47.000 Mm-hmm. 00:33:47.000 –> 00:33:49.000 or prejudice. 00:33:49.000 –> 00:33:52.000 I'm from Pennsylvania. 00:33:52.000 –> 00:33:59.000 So we have a lot of trailer parks and stuff, you know, up in the Poconos or up in Bethlehem and, you know. 00:33:59.000 –> 00:34:06.000 those places. And as soon as I saw a name, I would tell my supervisor, like. 00:34:06.000 –> 00:34:08.000 I don't want to go there. 00:34:08.000 –> 00:34:12.000 And she would say, well, I turned out and and 00:34:12.000 –> 00:34:17.000 It was sad. And I would say, these are my reasons why. 00:34:17.000 –> 00:34:23.000 And, you know, when you work in that field for so long, you almost 00:34:23.000 –> 00:34:26.000 become um 00:34:26.000 –> 00:34:35.000 you become immune, but you almost recognize where you're going to walk into before you even walk into the situation just by a name. 00:34:35.000 –> 00:34:39.000 Mm-hmm. 00:34:39.000 –> 00:34:42.000 And I would have to 00:34:42.000 –> 00:34:48.000 put on my rain boots because I always kept a pair of rain boots in my car. 00:34:48.000 –> 00:34:54.000 And walk into the home and just put on the face like, okay, here I am. I'm here for you. 00:34:54.000 –> 00:34:58.000 You know, I'm here to provide for whatever you need. 00:34:58.000 –> 00:35:00.000 And just keep it moving. 00:35:00.000 –> 00:35:02.000 But yes, during my time. 00:35:02.000 –> 00:35:06.000 I developed some type of bias and prejudice 00:35:06.000 –> 00:35:08.000 just because of a name. 00:35:08.000 –> 00:35:13.000 Thank you for being honest because it's being real. 00:35:13.000 –> 00:35:16.000 And that challenge is how do we not do that? 00:35:16.000 –> 00:35:19.000 Number one is we have to realize we're doing it. 00:35:19.000 –> 00:35:21.000 Just because of names. 00:35:21.000 –> 00:35:23.000 People can look at people's zip codes 00:35:23.000 –> 00:35:26.000 As a city council person, I can look at zip codes and 00:35:26.000 –> 00:35:29.000 or streets when somebody comes before me, I know exactly 00:35:29.000 –> 00:35:34.000 Well, not exactly. I have a great idea of what's going on just by your zip code. 00:35:34.000 –> 00:35:42.000 Insurance companies do that too. If you have certain zip codes and cities, you pay more insurance on your car, your house than other zip codes. 00:35:42.000 –> 00:35:44.000 Just because of the zip code where it's located. 00:35:44.000 –> 00:35:48.000 or the assumption that there is more crime. 00:35:48.000 –> 00:35:56.000 I live on the southwest side of the South Bend, Indiana, and people think that there's more crime on the southwest side. If you look at the actual record, it's not. 00:35:56.000 –> 00:35:59.000 But a lot of times that's betrayed on the media. 00:35:59.000 –> 00:36:02.000 We have another shooting on the west side of Seattle. 00:36:02.000 –> 00:36:08.000 When there's a shooting on the east side of town, they would say there was a shooting in South Bend. 00:36:08.000 –> 00:36:10.000 Okay. They would say a shooting in South Bend. 00:36:10.000 –> 00:36:17.000 But when it's on the west side, there was a shooting on the west side. I have never heard them say there was shooting on the east side. 00:36:17.000 –> 00:36:19.000 Oh, seldom did they say that. 00:36:19.000 –> 00:36:30.000 Because normally, if it's on the east side, shooting on the east, shooting in south, and if it was on the west side, they identify as west side. So those kind of things play into how people see 00:36:30.000 –> 00:36:32.000 going to people's homes. 00:36:32.000 –> 00:36:35.000 just by our media. 00:36:35.000 –> 00:36:36.000 And we planned. 00:36:36.000 –> 00:36:37.000 I would almost… 00:36:37.000 –> 00:36:42.000 like when I would tell my supervisor, I would almost be like, leave me in the city. 00:36:42.000 –> 00:36:44.000 I don't want to go into rural areas 00:36:44.000 –> 00:36:48.000 Leave me in the city. I'd be like, leave me with my Hispanic people. 00:36:48.000 –> 00:36:55.000 Don't send me up into the rural areas. I don't want to go to the trailer parks. I don't want to go into the nice houses. No, leave me here. 00:36:55.000 –> 00:37:00.000 I feel safer in the city. 00:37:00.000 –> 00:37:02.000 I was telling my daughter the other night. 00:37:02.000 –> 00:37:05.000 My grandfather on my dad's side lived in a trailer park. 00:37:05.000 –> 00:37:09.000 And grandma lived an interesting house. 00:37:09.000 –> 00:37:12.000 As a kid, we was just going to grandpa's house. 00:37:12.000 –> 00:37:17.000 Because when I got into older life, then I realized granddaddy was living in Trello Park. 00:37:17.000 –> 00:37:21.000 As a kid, it was just granddaddy's house. 00:37:21.000 –> 00:37:25.000 I never thought that we were going there. I mean, he lived in Tampa, Florida. 00:37:25.000 –> 00:37:29.000 And all those hurricanes and everything, we were in the trailer parked the storms. 00:37:29.000 –> 00:37:32.000 And it's amazing to me now. 00:37:32.000 –> 00:37:34.000 When I see trailer parks. 00:37:34.000 –> 00:37:40.000 When I used to look forward to just going to grandparents house. And now I never equated 00:37:40.000 –> 00:37:43.000 trailer park as low class people 00:37:43.000 –> 00:37:47.000 Because trailer parks met grandpa Daddy's house. 00:37:47.000 –> 00:37:49.000 Just interesting. 00:37:49.000 –> 00:37:53.000 how I saw it out of my camera, how I saw it the world out of my camera. 00:37:53.000 –> 00:38:00.000 And now how things have jaded my vision and how I have to clean off my camera because my lenses 00:38:00.000 –> 00:38:03.000 have been um 00:38:03.000 –> 00:38:05.000 stained by life's 00:38:05.000 –> 00:38:10.000 prejudice and other things that have happened. 00:38:10.000 –> 00:38:13.000 As I look at my camera. 00:38:13.000 –> 00:38:15.000 Some of that comes from houses. 00:38:15.000 –> 00:38:19.000 that we hear. 00:38:19.000 –> 00:38:26.000 If we look at childhood trauma and issues. 00:38:26.000 –> 00:38:28.000 we have to deal with the issue of 00:38:28.000 –> 00:38:31.000 this poem. 00:38:31.000 –> 00:38:34.000 Some of you may have heard at this point. 00:38:34.000 –> 00:38:36.000 And I'd like for somebody to read 00:38:36.000 –> 00:38:42.000 That point, let me put it. It's got children live what they learn. 00:38:42.000 –> 00:38:46.000 And since he, I know we deal with pronouns now, it was written in 79. 00:38:46.000 –> 00:38:54.000 But just go with he or she, whatever you want to go with. 00:38:54.000 –> 00:38:56.000 Somebody volunteer and go for it. 00:38:56.000 –> 00:39:04.000 Sure. I'll do it. Okay. If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. 00:39:04.000 –> 00:39:08.000 If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight. 00:39:08.000 –> 00:39:12.000 If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy. 00:39:12.000 –> 00:39:16.000 If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty. 00:39:16.000 –> 00:39:19.000 If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient. 00:39:19.000 –> 00:39:23.000 If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence. 00:39:23.000 –> 00:39:27.000 If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate. 00:39:27.000 –> 00:39:30.000 If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice. 00:39:30.000 –> 00:39:34.000 If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith. 00:39:34.000 –> 00:39:38.000 If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. 00:39:38.000 –> 00:39:44.000 If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world. 00:39:44.000 –> 00:39:49.000 Thank you. Ms. Dorothy Lew Note wrote that as part of her doctorate. 00:39:49.000 –> 00:39:52.000 Years ago, children live what they live. 00:39:52.000 –> 00:39:56.000 children learn what they live. 00:39:56.000 –> 00:40:03.000 What stood out for you as you read that? And then we have others to chime in. 00:40:03.000 –> 00:40:09.000 I've worked with a lot of children and a lot of students. 00:40:09.000 –> 00:40:16.000 just in life in general and also in the field and 00:40:16.000 –> 00:40:19.000 I love this poem and reading it it's 00:40:19.000 –> 00:40:24.000 It's so true because… 00:40:24.000 –> 00:40:30.000 like specifically like if a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. 00:40:30.000 –> 00:40:32.000 like a student, one of my students 00:40:32.000 –> 00:40:34.000 he was super 00:40:34.000 –> 00:40:37.000 incredibly 00:40:37.000 –> 00:40:39.000 just judgmental towards judgmental 00:40:39.000 –> 00:40:42.000 the people 00:40:42.000 –> 00:40:45.000 like his peers and he would talk to me about that 00:40:45.000 –> 00:40:52.000 This is when I was working in the social work field, but he would talk to me about how 00:40:52.000 –> 00:40:55.000 they need to do this better or they need to do that better. 00:40:55.000 –> 00:40:57.000 And he could have done it better 00:40:57.000 –> 00:41:03.000 then they could have and the teacher should have called on him and just different stuff like that and 00:41:03.000 –> 00:41:10.000 And getting to know him over the course of when he was on my caseload and also getting to know 00:41:10.000 –> 00:41:14.000 his mom and his grandma 00:41:14.000 –> 00:41:20.000 I could see that mom would constantly criticize him 00:41:20.000 –> 00:41:24.000 you could be better than that. You need to be better than that. You know better than 00:41:24.000 –> 00:41:27.000 And then grandma 00:41:27.000 –> 00:41:33.000 would do the same with mom. So they were kind of stuck in a 00:41:33.000 –> 00:41:38.000 trauma circle that I can only assume that grandma also had that growing up. 00:41:38.000 –> 00:41:40.000 So, um. 00:41:40.000 –> 00:41:43.000 Children are like sponges and 00:41:43.000 –> 00:41:46.000 the way that the adults in their life 00:41:46.000 –> 00:41:49.000 love them and love them 00:41:49.000 –> 00:41:51.000 care for them and or care for them 00:41:51.000 –> 00:41:57.000 don't love them or don't care for them. They soak that up is as in 00:41:57.000 –> 00:42:01.000 that's how I have to be whenever I'm an adult. Not always, but 00:42:01.000 –> 00:42:05.000 a lot of the times they think of that's how I have to be 00:42:05.000 –> 00:42:10.000 Because that's how they are and that's how the world 00:42:10.000 –> 00:42:13.000 works best for them. Does that make sense? 00:42:13.000 –> 00:42:16.000 Makes a lot of sense. 00:42:16.000 –> 00:42:20.000 Childless was critical. Thanks for sharing that. Thanks for reading it. 00:42:20.000 –> 00:42:24.000 If a child lives with criticism, learns to condemn. 00:42:24.000 –> 00:42:30.000 If you go back to some of the most critical people that you have, and I will even say for an adult. 00:42:30.000 –> 00:42:32.000 Liz has lived with criticism. 00:42:32.000 –> 00:42:38.000 he or she has learned to condemn. If you know people 00:42:38.000 –> 00:42:44.000 who are they're very condescending. They're always criticizing people on a regular basis. 00:42:44.000 –> 00:42:47.000 Take time to take time 00:42:47.000 –> 00:42:51.000 hear them. And if you really took time to hear them 00:42:51.000 –> 00:42:55.000 you almost could go back and quietly see their Facebooks or whatever. 00:42:55.000 –> 00:42:59.000 You'll probably pick up some things about them. 00:42:59.000 –> 00:43:04.000 that they have grown up in a world full of pure criticism. 00:43:04.000 –> 00:43:14.000 you know good you know this, you know that. Or they may have attended a church service or a worship background that's been very critical and 00:43:14.000 –> 00:43:17.000 And makes them to feel that they always live in hell. 00:43:17.000 –> 00:43:20.000 And going to hellfire and health this and all of that. 00:43:20.000 –> 00:43:25.000 And it's amazing by the time they get to third and fourth grade. 00:43:25.000 –> 00:43:28.000 They're some of the most critical young people 00:43:28.000 –> 00:43:33.000 The bodies are just turning 10 and yet they can be i'm just amazing 00:43:33.000 –> 00:43:36.000 They're mean. They're more mean. 00:43:36.000 –> 00:43:40.000 I have fifth grade right in front of me. It's been amazing dealing with some of my fifth graders. 00:43:40.000 –> 00:43:48.000 you happen to step on them, your mother blankety blank, blank, and blank, and your daddy blankety blank. Whoa. 00:43:48.000 –> 00:43:50.000 And I did it by accident. 00:43:50.000 –> 00:43:53.000 But they should have known better than the table on my blanket of blank. 00:43:53.000 –> 00:44:03.000 How did they at 10 years old not accuss and not only cuss, but how to place their cuss and how to criticize so hard on somebody else? 00:44:03.000 –> 00:44:06.000 And then he called the parent in. 00:44:06.000 –> 00:44:10.000 And he said, why are you calling my blankly blank phone? What's going on? Okay. 00:44:10.000 –> 00:44:14.000 I got you. 00:44:14.000 –> 00:44:19.000 I had to come up here and pick up my blank to make china and call downtown on you blankly blank social worker. 00:44:19.000 –> 00:44:23.000 Okay. You said they're sponges. Yeah, they're sponges. 00:44:23.000 –> 00:44:25.000 I know why that 10-year-old is cussing. 00:44:25.000 –> 00:44:36.000 Sounds just like that. Makes me think. Our children pick up so much. Animals pick up everything that we do. You can tell. 00:44:36.000 –> 00:44:38.000 Children live with criticism. 00:44:38.000 –> 00:44:41.000 Live with hostility, the ones who are fighting a lot. 00:44:41.000 –> 00:44:43.000 Fussing a lot. 00:44:43.000 –> 00:44:52.000 They live in that kind of environment, whether it's emotional fights, physical fights, a combination of them all. 00:44:52.000 –> 00:44:57.000 What's your thoughts? 00:44:57.000 –> 00:45:01.000 Look the ones in the purple ones. Which one stands out for you? 00:45:01.000 –> 00:45:07.000 It could be the criticism, the hostility, the ridicule, the shame. Which one, when you looked at it and read about it? 00:45:07.000 –> 00:45:10.000 popped out and see, yeah, I can see that. Or not only 00:45:10.000 –> 00:45:14.000 the clients, which ones jumped out? 00:45:14.000 –> 00:45:21.000 kind of all of them, but the one specifically is if a child lives with hostility and learns to fight 00:45:21.000 –> 00:45:28.000 I've been a foster parent and we had an eight-year-old little boy, an Inuit from alaska. 00:45:28.000 –> 00:45:33.000 And he ain't been in foster care longer than most, almost four years by the time 00:45:33.000 –> 00:45:36.000 He was placed with me and my family. 00:45:36.000 –> 00:45:40.000 And he had been in 15 homes prior to my home. 00:45:40.000 –> 00:45:46.000 He also was seen because he was suffering from like fetal alcohol syndrome 00:45:46.000 –> 00:45:48.000 and other very serious 00:45:48.000 –> 00:45:51.000 conditions that 00:45:51.000 –> 00:45:55.000 maybe not curable, but treatable so that he could live a better life. 00:45:55.000 –> 00:46:06.000 But all he knew was to fight. That's all he had ever been around. And then to fight in every foster home because he didn't understand and he had no place 00:46:06.000 –> 00:46:10.000 to grab from and until he got in our home 00:46:10.000 –> 00:46:18.000 where he got the therapies they needed, the support he needed. We actually started working with his family, which was severe alcoholism. 00:46:18.000 –> 00:46:21.000 He's placed with me because I'm Cherokee. 00:46:21.000 –> 00:46:25.000 So we had an understanding of what it meant to go up native. 00:46:25.000 –> 00:46:26.000 Mm-hmm. 00:46:26.000 –> 00:46:32.000 He didn't even identify. He didn't even know what it meant. What does that mean to be Native? What does it mean to be 00:46:32.000 –> 00:46:37.000 from a tribe or from Alaska. And so it's like 00:46:37.000 –> 00:46:43.000 All he knew was hostility, and he knew it from not just his family, but to how to fight to survive 00:46:43.000 –> 00:46:53.000 for all the other homes he had been placed in for the piece of food he needed, for clothes he needed. He was eight when he came to us and he was wearing size four and a half, five clothes. 00:46:53.000 –> 00:46:54.000 Wow. 00:46:54.000 –> 00:46:58.000 He didn't have anything and he had been in foster care for three and a half years 00:46:58.000 –> 00:47:03.000 The painful youth I am. 00:47:03.000 –> 00:47:06.000 Have you seen my childhood? 00:47:06.000 –> 00:47:10.000 And it goes back to plus the abandonment issues. 00:47:10.000 –> 00:47:14.000 Fighting had become miscommunication. 00:47:14.000 –> 00:47:18.000 That's the way he communicated through his fights. 00:47:18.000 –> 00:47:22.000 A lot of the students that take place are their communications. 00:47:22.000 –> 00:47:25.000 Meaning, I used to play basketball as a kid. 00:47:25.000 –> 00:47:30.000 You foul somebody, you say, sorry, you move on next game. 00:47:30.000 –> 00:47:33.000 Or you may get a little rough tough and no big deal. 00:47:33.000 –> 00:47:37.000 Now people just walk to their cars, come out, you fouled me. 00:47:37.000 –> 00:47:41.000 I'm going to shoot you. Like, what? 00:47:41.000 –> 00:47:48.000 you know, and you think about why did they shoot that person? Well, they touched him or they were looking at him wrong or whatever. It's just like, hmm. 00:47:48.000 –> 00:47:51.000 It's the way they communicate. It's a different level of communication. 00:47:51.000 –> 00:47:55.000 And helping people to be able to express how they talk. 00:47:55.000 –> 00:48:00.000 Without having to do that is really interesting. 00:48:00.000 –> 00:48:03.000 And we live in a very hostile world i mean 00:48:03.000 –> 00:48:11.000 Once class is over, then I turn on CNN and MSNBC and I turn on Fox News and all the other news. 00:48:11.000 –> 00:48:19.000 And here, the whole thing that we are garbage or people are this and people are that are 00:48:19.000 –> 00:48:28.000 I mean, commercials are being made off of people who are going through transitions. Commercials are being made of all these different populations. It's amazing. 00:48:28.000 –> 00:48:31.000 is mean. 00:48:31.000 –> 00:48:39.000 And so when we see our presidential campaigns, our governor campaigns, our United States Senate campaigns, our 00:48:39.000 –> 00:48:42.000 for Congress campaigns, our mayors, our 00:48:42.000 –> 00:48:45.000 down to the local level campaigns 00:48:45.000 –> 00:48:53.000 I'm blasting each other. Genderism, sexism, homophobiaism, all the isms that you can think about. 00:48:53.000 –> 00:48:56.000 on social media and the posts. 00:48:56.000 –> 00:48:58.000 It's mean people's like… 00:48:58.000 –> 00:49:01.000 I mean, it's horrible. 00:49:01.000 –> 00:49:06.000 And so then you see children pick up that. 00:49:06.000 –> 00:49:17.000 She wanted to pick up that. What's your thoughts? 00:49:17.000 –> 00:49:22.000 Random thought I'm kind of having or maybe not so random but it's also 00:49:22.000 –> 00:49:29.000 I'm seeing this like the word cyclical is also coming up. So, you know, the child that lives with hostility and learns to fight 00:49:29.000 –> 00:49:37.000 goes out and gets, you know, or is combative and then that's what's coming back at them too. So it's almost like their behavior is also reinforced um 00:49:37.000 –> 00:49:38.000 Mm-hmm. 00:49:38.000 –> 00:49:43.000 Yeah. I mean, that's where my mind's at right now. And it's the same for 00:49:43.000 –> 00:49:45.000 all of them like if you 00:49:45.000 –> 00:49:49.000 live with ridicule and you learn to be shy and you learn to kind of 00:49:49.000 –> 00:49:56.000 bury yourself in the background, if you will, you may tend to be overlooked. And again, it reinforces 00:49:56.000 –> 00:49:59.000 that behavior and that feeling. 00:49:59.000 –> 00:50:02.000 Shame. 00:50:02.000 –> 00:50:05.000 Living with shame. 00:50:05.000 –> 00:50:08.000 My daughter was in a mixed class. When I say mixed class. 00:50:08.000 –> 00:50:11.000 It was first grade to fourth grade. 00:50:11.000 –> 00:50:14.000 And the little school that she was in. 00:50:14.000 –> 00:50:17.000 she was almost seven years old. 00:50:17.000 –> 00:50:21.000 And we were eating dinner that night. She said, that's enough. I said, what do you mean that's enough? 00:50:21.000 –> 00:50:26.000 She says, I got to work on my figure. 00:50:26.000 –> 00:50:28.000 I said, you got to work on what? 00:50:28.000 –> 00:50:32.000 I got to work on my figure. 00:50:32.000 –> 00:50:36.000 I was just like, I was so blown away sitting at the table. 00:50:36.000 –> 00:50:40.000 And I was like, I mean, I expect that maybe when she was a teenager and then it hit me. 00:50:40.000 –> 00:50:42.000 she was in a mixed class dealing with 00:50:42.000 –> 00:50:48.000 six, seven, eight, 19 years old. And the larger girls were getting teased. 00:50:48.000 –> 00:50:52.000 And she did not want to be one of them. 00:50:52.000 –> 00:50:56.000 So she stopped, even though I could tell she was really enjoyed it. 00:50:56.000 –> 00:51:00.000 Because they were getting teased. 00:51:00.000 –> 00:51:03.000 And I said, wow, that's not something that 00:51:03.000 –> 00:51:06.000 It's just for older people. 00:51:06.000 –> 00:51:10.000 younger people are dealing with that. The bully reports I have to write up. 00:51:10.000 –> 00:51:12.000 B&T's size. 00:51:12.000 –> 00:51:17.000 For me, I remember when Vanessa Williams won in 1984 00:51:17.000 –> 00:51:20.000 First African-American to ever win Miss America. 00:51:20.000 –> 00:51:23.000 And that was interesting because she was light scared. 00:51:23.000 –> 00:51:26.000 People who are my complexion than when 00:51:26.000 –> 00:51:30.000 I mean, that's just what happened. My sister's where my mother was in the South. 00:51:30.000 –> 00:51:34.000 It's amazing how many people 00:51:34.000 –> 00:51:36.000 felt uncomfortable. 00:51:36.000 –> 00:51:41.000 I've done a lot of therapy. How many men and women felt uncomfortable 00:51:41.000 –> 00:51:45.000 having any kind of lights on during their intimate times. 00:51:45.000 –> 00:51:48.000 Because they felt embarrassed about themselves. 00:51:48.000 –> 00:51:57.000 their looks and a lot of that came from their younger years. You're ugly, you're stupid. And even though a wife or a husband or a partner 00:51:57.000 –> 00:52:11.000 told them that they were pretty and they loved the way they looked. Are you just saying that? You just saying that. I don't even know why you're loving me. You could probably find any other woman or you could find any other man. And all this stuff happening, you know, you just… 00:52:11.000 –> 00:52:17.000 You just probably picked me because I was the last one and you had nobody else. I'm sure you're looking at her. Why are you looking at her all the time? 00:52:17.000 –> 00:52:23.000 And a lot of that argument, it creates that because when they were in those early years. 00:52:23.000 –> 00:52:29.000 They were teased about being too skinny, too dark, too light, too white, too black, too this, too that. 00:52:29.000 –> 00:52:32.000 eyes, there's four eyes, bubble lips, all this stuff. 00:52:32.000 –> 00:52:40.000 I can remember, I could write down all the stuff that I was caught between pay through fifth grade. And there's some vicious stuff. 00:52:40.000 –> 00:52:43.000 And here I am 56 years old and I still have to deal with that mess. 00:52:43.000 –> 00:52:47.000 In my mind. 00:52:47.000 –> 00:52:50.000 What's your thoughts? 00:52:50.000 –> 00:52:52.000 Shame. 00:52:52.000 –> 00:52:55.000 I just think about how like 00:52:55.000 –> 00:52:58.000 When I was an adolescent and like the 00:52:58.000 –> 00:53:01.000 I don't know, the early 2000s and 00:53:01.000 –> 00:53:10.000 the fashion trends at the time, like the low rise jeans and like the crop tops and like all this stuff. And now it's coming back 00:53:10.000 –> 00:53:17.000 And I've got friends who will be like, I could never wear low rise jeans. And when I see that stuff, I'm just triggered by all of the 00:53:17.000 –> 00:53:27.000 societal and like my the peer pressure that like, you know, if you ate anything, you were fat and you were not valued and um and like these are people like get like this is like 00:53:27.000 –> 00:53:31.000 20 years later, people who are still just like, I can't i can't 00:53:31.000 –> 00:53:35.000 you know and i think it's just 00:53:35.000 –> 00:53:41.000 you know speaks to that kind of point that that shame really is like sinks in there really early and it stays with you 00:53:41.000 –> 00:53:48.000 He stays with you. It's a struggle. It's a fight. It's something that you have to deal with. 00:53:48.000 –> 00:53:51.000 And so shame. 00:53:51.000 –> 00:53:55.000 ridiculed. Persons live for tolerance to learn to be patient. 00:53:55.000 –> 00:53:59.000 you grew up in a house and they talk about freedoms. They talk about people. 00:53:59.000 –> 00:54:08.000 who they allow different backgrounds, different issues. You see the children coming out of those kind of backgrounds a lot more patient. 00:54:08.000 –> 00:54:18.000 This generation has grown up with seeing more TV issues, or I don't even call it TV, but whatever flat screen stuff. I could tell what generation I grew when I used to wear TV. 00:54:18.000 –> 00:54:22.000 But they have learned to see more 00:54:22.000 –> 00:54:31.000 members of the LGBTQ plus communities on TV shows and other issues. And so they have learned to be a lot more patient. 00:54:31.000 –> 00:54:33.000 Versus my generation. 00:54:33.000 –> 00:54:38.000 It's very common now to have Thursday night football to see black quarterbacks 00:54:38.000 –> 00:54:45.000 When I can almost name the ones that we're going through when I was a kid in the 70s, 80s, it's normal now. 00:54:45.000 –> 00:54:48.000 I've seen the first African-American male president. 00:54:48.000 –> 00:54:50.000 We've seen the second woman run for 00:54:50.000 –> 00:54:54.000 president now, when was she not? I don't know. 00:54:54.000 –> 00:54:56.000 But one day will be normal. 00:54:56.000 –> 00:54:59.000 Instead of saying that she's strong enough. 00:54:59.000 –> 00:55:03.000 Could she handle this? All the questions she's been asking. 00:55:03.000 –> 00:55:08.000 You know, whether she's Democrat, Republican, my issue is just the fact that it's still new. 00:55:08.000 –> 00:55:10.000 Because we are not used to that. 00:55:10.000 –> 00:55:15.000 But people who are teaching their children at a younger level how to embrace it 00:55:15.000 –> 00:55:18.000 It helps them to be able to deal with change. 00:55:18.000 –> 00:55:21.000 try to live with encouragement. 00:55:21.000 –> 00:55:23.000 Confidence. 00:55:23.000 –> 00:55:27.000 Okay, yeah, okay, you got to see on that one, but you know, you can do better. 00:55:27.000 –> 00:55:35.000 You got to see. Last week was report card day. You can hear all the parents coming here. How dare you got this? You hear him screaming in the hallway when I was there. It was interesting. 00:55:35.000 –> 00:55:39.000 And all the screaming in the hallway was already teaching them 00:55:39.000 –> 00:55:41.000 about themselves. 00:55:41.000 –> 00:55:43.000 the confidence of the failures. 00:55:43.000 –> 00:55:46.000 Living with praise. 00:55:46.000 –> 00:55:48.000 To appreciate. 00:55:48.000 –> 00:55:51.000 Sometimes too much praise could also 00:55:51.000 –> 00:55:56.000 how do they deal with conflict is kind of interesting. I almost could flip the other side too, but at the same time, it's cool. 00:55:56.000 –> 00:55:59.000 Fairness, justice, security, faith. 00:55:59.000 –> 00:56:06.000 approval of the green section here. Which one stands out for you? 00:56:06.000 –> 00:56:14.000 You saw the purple ones, but the green ones. 00:56:14.000 –> 00:56:21.000 It made me think of a video I saw once that was put out by the National Down Syndrome Association when it were 00:56:21.000 –> 00:56:25.000 The whole video was about how 00:56:25.000 –> 00:56:28.000 The assumptions you put on others is what they become. 00:56:28.000 –> 00:56:34.000 And that if you assume people will be one way, you're causing the negatives 00:56:34.000 –> 00:56:35.000 Mm-hmm. 00:56:35.000 –> 00:56:37.000 But that if you assume then the positive set 00:56:37.000 –> 00:56:39.000 setting then setting 00:56:39.000 –> 00:56:42.000 they'll have the confidence like this says and everything 00:56:42.000 –> 00:56:46.000 it just this whole poem made me think of that video. 00:56:46.000 –> 00:56:50.000 And a part of that is the reason why that is 00:56:50.000 –> 00:56:55.000 Oh, well, I've already moved my thing. That goes back to the camera. 00:56:55.000 –> 00:57:01.000 Because the original lens that we focus on, our original focus. 00:57:01.000 –> 00:57:05.000 is set by our… 00:57:05.000 –> 00:57:08.000 family of origin. 00:57:08.000 –> 00:57:11.000 They are set to live with praise. 00:57:11.000 –> 00:57:16.000 then you see praising others real quick. 00:57:16.000 –> 00:57:20.000 If your family sets your camera to go with hostility. 00:57:20.000 –> 00:57:27.000 you pick it up in that cycle of strip that was just shared a few minutes ago comes there. 00:57:27.000 –> 00:57:29.000 Then the challenges is this. 00:57:29.000 –> 00:57:34.000 But before I go to my thing, I got a thought that comes up. What else stood out? Thank you, Michelle. What else stands out with you? 00:57:34.000 –> 00:57:42.000 And the green section. 00:57:42.000 –> 00:57:49.000 For me, the one that says the child that lives with encouragement learns confidence. 00:57:49.000 –> 00:57:52.000 And I can just think back to like. 00:57:52.000 –> 00:57:55.000 My peer group growing up 00:57:55.000 –> 00:58:01.000 And, you know, it was kind of like separated out and some of us were encouraged to 00:58:01.000 –> 00:58:07.000 do well in academics and some of us were encouraged to do well in athletics 00:58:07.000 –> 00:58:09.000 and um 00:58:09.000 –> 00:58:16.000 And then that's what became of those people later. And I also think back to uh like 00:58:16.000 –> 00:58:20.000 There was also encouragement to fight. 00:58:20.000 –> 00:58:21.000 Okay. 00:58:21.000 –> 00:58:24.000 Right. To like get an aggressive fist fights with each other. And so, you know. 00:58:24.000 –> 00:58:30.000 people who were encouraged to do that learned confidence in 00:58:30.000 –> 00:58:32.000 those aggressive behaviors. 00:58:32.000 –> 00:58:37.000 So I kind of see the mix of that there too. 00:58:37.000 –> 00:58:43.000 I appreciate that because of the fact that it's not only the question breaks this down 00:58:43.000 –> 00:58:47.000 to what are they being encouraged to do? 00:58:47.000 –> 00:58:56.000 And they may be encouraged to do some, and that goes back to your values and other cardiac actions. They may be encouraged to do some 00:58:56.000 –> 00:59:00.000 deviant or what some people may consider deviant behavior 00:59:00.000 –> 00:59:03.000 And that's how they learn their confidence. 00:59:03.000 –> 00:59:07.000 And then teaching somebody who's in 00:59:07.000 –> 00:59:16.000 fifth grade, their confidence, they know that they know how to play what they call the joneses of the dozens or whatever. They're very confident at it. 00:59:16.000 –> 00:59:26.000 Because your mama this, your daddy this, your mama, they know that within a matter of about three minutes, they're going to have this other fifth grader crying. They are very confident at that. They know they were. 00:59:26.000 –> 00:59:36.000 And I've had that happen because I had fifth grade was in one building and they got switched into our building where I'm in fifth grade, eighth. They were in a building just a few weeks ago where they were first through fifth. 00:59:36.000 –> 00:59:47.000 And now they got switched to a building where they are now fifth to eight within our school system, which was a mess. They shouldn't have done that. But anyway, they did. And so now the fifth grader who was good at playing the Joneses on 00:59:47.000 –> 00:59:53.000 fifth grade to first grade is now having to do that with fifth grade to eighth grade and is losing the battles. 00:59:53.000 –> 00:59:55.000 They're not as confident anymore. 00:59:55.000 –> 00:59:59.000 And having to figure out another way to communicate has been a mess. 00:59:59.000 –> 01:00:03.000 So it depends on what they've been encouraged to do but i see 01:00:03.000 –> 01:00:09.000 So finding out what they've been encouraged to do is also important. 01:00:09.000 –> 01:00:14.000 Because sometimes it's been good and sometimes it hasn't been good. 01:00:14.000 –> 01:00:21.000 finding out what they consider fairness and what they consider. It's amazing. 01:00:21.000 –> 01:00:26.000 what I used to think was fair is not necessarily fair. 01:00:26.000 –> 01:00:40.000 And that was based on the fact of my religious background, based on the fact of a few other backgrounds. I mean, you're going through some religious places in schools on Sunday school or Saturday school, and people will teach that if you don't go to this particular church, you're going to hell's fire. 01:00:40.000 –> 01:00:45.000 or you don't live the certain way, you're going to hell's fire. 01:00:45.000 –> 01:00:59.000 So something happens to somebody, well, you know, they're going to hell anyway. So you have to be careful with how does your culture, your religious background, your political background of a neighborhood, of a community 01:00:59.000 –> 01:01:02.000 help you to dehumanize other people. 01:01:02.000 –> 01:01:05.000 I was listening to a presentation today. 01:01:05.000 –> 01:01:21.000 Does somebody's rhetoric, whether it's religious, whether it's political, whether it's the environmental, help them to dehumanize somebody. So if something happens to that person, that person dies, something bad happens. Well, I don't know why you worry about her. You know, she already have five babies. In other words, why are we worried about her? 01:01:21.000 –> 01:01:24.000 she's not a human. She had five babies. What would he do? 01:01:24.000 –> 01:01:32.000 I mean, why do we worry about them? I mean, I heard he left his wife and came out of closet anyway. Why are we worried about him? 01:01:32.000 –> 01:01:41.000 In other words, their thinking has dehumanized that person. So something bad happens to them, whoopity do. 01:01:41.000 –> 01:01:46.000 somebody happens to them, well, they're a Democrat. Something bad happened, they're a Republican. They like Trump anyway. 01:01:46.000 –> 01:01:49.000 I'm happy, you know. 01:01:49.000 –> 01:01:56.000 Has our rhetoric made it so bad that we can watch another group of people, another culture. 01:01:56.000 –> 01:01:58.000 Die? 01:01:58.000 –> 01:02:02.000 Oh, 25 people from Hamas. Well, they're Hamas. We don't care. 01:02:02.000 –> 01:02:07.000 25people from Palestine died, oh, we care about that. Oh, we don't care about that. 25 people from Israel died. 01:02:07.000 –> 01:02:11.000 25 blacks were killed on that huddle that we care, that we care, 25 blacks were killed on that hudge. 01:02:11.000 –> 01:02:15.000 does the concept around us make us not care? 01:02:15.000 –> 01:02:20.000 or care. 01:02:20.000 –> 01:02:24.000 All that comes from my childhood. 01:02:24.000 –> 01:02:28.000 What's your thoughts? 01:02:28.000 –> 01:02:37.000 Before we go to our last one. 01:02:37.000 –> 01:02:40.000 see your faces for a few minutes and I'll go to the last one. 01:02:40.000 –> 01:02:47.000 Hmm. 01:02:47.000 –> 01:02:58.000 What's the next for you so far in this presentation? 01:02:58.000 –> 01:02:59.000 Okay. 01:02:59.000 –> 01:03:03.000 Excuse my background, I'm sorry. The background noise. I really wanted to follow what Derek said because it really resonated with me. 01:03:03.000 –> 01:03:10.000 Especially things that I see with my son and a conversation that we had to have last night with 01:03:10.000 –> 01:03:14.000 praising him for not hitting someone back then. 01:03:14.000 –> 01:03:17.000 uh he was tipped but also 01:03:17.000 –> 01:03:20.000 What I didn't see on the other side of that is not reinforcing him not 01:03:20.000 –> 01:03:23.000 standing up for himself at the same time. 01:03:23.000 –> 01:03:26.000 So making sure that we encourage 01:03:26.000 –> 01:03:28.000 Does that make sense what I'm trying to say? 01:03:28.000 –> 01:03:30.000 I'm listening. Making sense. 01:03:30.000 –> 01:03:41.000 No. But yeah, Derek said has really resonated and it just really brought me back to the conversation yesterday of knowing how to balance both sides. 01:03:41.000 –> 01:03:45.000 of teaching, okay, no, we don't hit back 01:03:45.000 –> 01:03:51.000 But in certain circumstances, you need to know how to protect yourself and how to defend yourself if necessary. 01:03:51.000 –> 01:03:54.000 Well, I agree with that. I tell the kids that's cool. 01:03:54.000 –> 01:03:58.000 I said, now, they said, my mama taught me to fight back. I said, okay. 01:03:58.000 –> 01:04:00.000 I said, I have nothing wrong with my mama said. 01:04:00.000 –> 01:04:02.000 I said, now, while you're here at school? 01:04:02.000 –> 01:04:04.000 It's our job to help you fight back. 01:04:04.000 –> 01:04:06.000 It's my job. 01:04:06.000 –> 01:04:10.000 I said, you need to tell your teacher, I'm the social worker, tell the principal. 01:04:10.000 –> 01:04:14.000 I said, you know, I give them some things. I said, now let me tell y'all this. 01:04:14.000 –> 01:04:18.000 You got there in that park out there and the school's not out and the school's out. 01:04:18.000 –> 01:04:24.000 And somebody does that, either you're going to have to run as fast as you can or you got to fight. 01:04:24.000 –> 01:04:29.000 Now, you should be out there with somebody to look out for you anyway, but sometimes you may have to stand up and fight, okay? 01:04:29.000 –> 01:04:32.000 All right, Mr. Davis. 01:04:32.000 –> 01:04:35.000 I make it real for him. 01:04:35.000 –> 01:04:40.000 Because that may be the case. 01:04:40.000 –> 01:04:44.000 I mean, sometimes I stand up. Sometimes I call my big sister. Boy, she could fight. She was pretty good. 01:04:44.000 –> 01:04:47.000 And so everybody knew it too. 01:04:47.000 –> 01:04:51.000 I'm going to call my brother. I'm going to call my sisters. Y'all don't want her. 01:04:51.000 –> 01:04:53.000 You know? 01:04:53.000 –> 01:04:59.000 And other times I could tell the teacher. So teaching them to be realistic with that. 01:04:59.000 –> 01:05:08.000 In their childhood helps them to be realistic people as adults, as teachers. 01:05:08.000 –> 01:05:11.000 What else? 01:05:11.000 –> 01:05:15.000 That's you. 01:05:15.000 –> 01:05:18.000 That's a stood up face. I mean. 01:05:18.000 –> 01:05:27.000 I think the concept of the camera and the picture, especially working in a school, a lot of the times the staff don't 01:05:27.000 –> 01:05:30.000 understand a full picture and even 01:05:30.000 –> 01:05:39.000 with the extensive amount of information as a mental health clinician that I have on the background of these kids, I still don't have a full picture. 01:05:39.000 –> 01:05:53.000 And so, you know, using that trauma informed care and being mindful of all of these things that contribute to these kids behaviors and experiences, emotions and everything, I think is super important. 01:05:53.000 –> 01:05:58.000 My principal did something several years ago, which I really need to encourage him to do this year. 01:05:58.000 –> 01:06:05.000 On one of our days where we didn't have any students at the school because we had an e-learning day. 01:06:05.000 –> 01:06:08.000 We all went and got on a school bus 01:06:08.000 –> 01:06:11.000 The whole staff got on the same bus. 01:06:11.000 –> 01:06:13.000 And he had me plot the 01:06:13.000 –> 01:06:16.000 route and we took the bus 01:06:16.000 –> 01:06:21.000 around the neighborhoods where our kids lived. 01:06:21.000 –> 01:06:26.000 It was an eye-opening experience for a lot of people. 01:06:26.000 –> 01:06:28.000 In my school 01:06:28.000 –> 01:06:31.000 we have some of the wealthiest neighborhoods 01:06:31.000 –> 01:06:33.000 in the city of South Bend. 01:06:33.000 –> 01:06:35.000 In the district. 01:06:35.000 –> 01:06:37.000 And also… 01:06:37.000 –> 01:06:39.000 in the same area. 01:06:39.000 –> 01:06:44.000 We have some of the poorest. 01:06:44.000 –> 01:06:47.000 And when we went to certain places, people… 01:06:47.000 –> 01:06:49.000 You could see it in their faces. 01:06:49.000 –> 01:06:52.000 their reactions and hear it in their voices. 01:06:52.000 –> 01:06:56.000 these same kids are coming from different areas. The bus is picking them all around. 01:06:56.000 –> 01:07:06.000 And many of them didn't even live in our city. They drive in from other spots and they work and get in their car and go home. 01:07:06.000 –> 01:07:08.000 But this was the first day that several of them 01:07:08.000 –> 01:07:12.000 Got a chance to see where many of our students were living. 01:07:12.000 –> 01:07:16.000 And my goal and his goal was to help widen their camera. 01:07:16.000 –> 01:07:20.000 To just give a little better understanding of what it's like to 01:07:20.000 –> 01:07:25.000 Welcome. This is where our bus route ends and everybody who lives from here have to walk 01:07:25.000 –> 01:07:29.000 They got to walk in rain, snow, ice, everything else they walk 01:07:29.000 –> 01:07:36.000 If you live from this house over, you have to walk from there over and it's not close. 01:07:36.000 –> 01:07:44.000 or why those parents have a harder time coming to the parent teachers conference because of that kind of situation. 01:07:44.000 –> 01:07:48.000 makes you understand life a little bit better. What's your thoughts? 01:07:48.000 –> 01:07:52.000 That's what you were talking about, Ms. Tucker. 01:07:52.000 –> 01:07:59.000 What y'all think about what Ms. Tucker just said? 01:07:59.000 –> 01:08:05.000 What are your thoughts or wider your camera? 01:08:05.000 –> 01:08:09.000 I agree with what she says in terms of 01:08:09.000 –> 01:08:11.000 of that balance, you know. 01:08:11.000 –> 01:08:14.000 making your choices to 01:08:14.000 –> 01:08:18.000 you know encourage and support your children while still telling them 01:08:18.000 –> 01:08:24.000 take care of yourself. I have a young lady that comes to me quite often. 01:08:24.000 –> 01:08:29.000 in a very similar situation, some of the houses right around the school are pretty nice. 01:08:29.000 –> 01:08:34.000 as you stack out from the school I'm at, it gets a little rougher 01:08:34.000 –> 01:08:39.000 And her only thing is I just want to feel normal like the other kids that were normal. 01:08:39.000 –> 01:08:45.000 I don't have nice things. I have to rotate in a one bedroom apartment 01:08:45.000 –> 01:08:48.000 with mom and mom's living boyfriend 01:08:48.000 –> 01:08:50.000 between the bed and the couch. 01:08:50.000 –> 01:08:58.000 Now this is a girl who is a big girl. She's probably 285 pounds in the seventh grade, probably six foot. She's a big girl. 01:08:58.000 –> 01:09:04.000 And I asked her, what can I do that would help her feel 01:09:04.000 –> 01:09:12.000 some of that normalcy because she's on like a point sheet with me. We have to check in. Otherwise, she gets lost around the school. 01:09:12.000 –> 01:09:16.000 And so I surprised her with a little thing of lip gloss 01:09:16.000 –> 01:09:25.000 And that felt like the most normal thing to her compared to every other kid because it was something she didn't have at that moment and not something she'd ever had. 01:09:25.000 –> 01:09:31.000 Because her whole life has been bounced between family members because of incarceration. 01:09:31.000 –> 01:09:35.000 And so she just really doesn't have anything 01:09:35.000 –> 01:09:36.000 It's amazing how many of my families 01:09:36.000 –> 01:09:41.000 Why ain't got to go to work? Come on here, Gene. 01:09:41.000 –> 01:09:42.000 Okay. 01:09:42.000 –> 01:09:45.000 Come on, you want to go see Halo when she come home? 01:09:45.000 –> 01:09:47.000 Okay. 01:09:47.000 –> 01:09:48.000 I think… 01:09:48.000 –> 01:09:51.000 Come on. Come on. She yikes. 01:09:51.000 –> 01:09:54.000 Come on here, Gene. 01:09:54.000 –> 01:09:55.000 Do that. 01:09:55.000 –> 01:10:01.000 I think so one of the things I think really resonated with me about what Ms. Tucker said 01:10:01.000 –> 01:10:04.000 was the idea of focus. 01:10:04.000 –> 01:10:07.000 And so it made me kind of think of the the um 01:10:07.000 –> 01:10:12.000 about the camera itself and how you may 01:10:12.000 –> 01:10:14.000 in order to see 01:10:14.000 –> 01:10:19.000 an image better, change the lens in which you look at 01:10:19.000 –> 01:10:23.000 you look at things. And so you might have to adjust things so that 01:10:23.000 –> 01:10:27.000 the picture comes up clearer and it kind of brought back the idea of like 01:10:27.000 –> 01:10:36.000 you and the school bus of like, okay, so we have these teachers who have this one view of these kids. Let's take them and we'll change 01:10:36.000 –> 01:10:40.000 the focus and we'll change the lens in which they look at 01:10:40.000 –> 01:10:44.000 at the children. And so they get this different 01:10:44.000 –> 01:10:46.000 understanding of like 01:10:46.000 –> 01:10:51.000 who they actually are working with you know and so 01:10:51.000 –> 01:10:54.000 And I think that can be carried on to wherever. 01:10:54.000 –> 01:11:03.000 you know whether it's in our discipline or any discipline, but that, you know, in order to better help someone, you kind of have to look at them from 01:11:03.000 –> 01:11:05.000 different perspectives. 01:11:05.000 –> 01:11:06.000 Different. 01:11:06.000 –> 01:11:10.000 That makes sense. Am I just rambling? 01:11:10.000 –> 01:11:17.000 And I want you, I mean, your comments tonight and things are really on target because it goes back to what 01:11:17.000 –> 01:11:20.000 Let me go back to one more thing. 01:11:20.000 –> 01:11:23.000 Right here, seeing this. 01:11:23.000 –> 01:11:27.000 Nah, I talked about how Michael Jackson thing affected him. 01:11:27.000 –> 01:11:28.000 I moved on from that. But this is what you… 01:11:28.000 –> 01:11:30.000 He looked out. 01:11:30.000 –> 01:11:33.000 Talking about ACEs. 01:11:33.000 –> 01:11:35.000 your chapter talked about that. 01:11:35.000 –> 01:11:37.000 A veteran's childhood experiences. 01:11:37.000 –> 01:11:40.000 about adverse childhood experiences really 01:11:40.000 –> 01:11:43.000 The whole song of childhood 01:11:43.000 –> 01:11:46.000 to me. 01:11:46.000 –> 01:11:49.000 helps to explain ACEs. 01:11:49.000 –> 01:11:55.000 Adverse child experience can have long-term negative impacts or long-term positive effects. 01:11:55.000 –> 01:12:00.000 adverse childhood experiences are common and some groups experience them more than others. 01:12:00.000 –> 01:12:03.000 And they did this and it helps you to look at that and study 01:12:03.000 –> 01:12:06.000 the outcomes you'll see it 01:12:06.000 –> 01:12:10.000 I've been to several workshops on ACES. 01:12:10.000 –> 01:12:12.000 And I'll put that. 01:12:12.000 –> 01:12:14.000 But it helps us to look at 01:12:14.000 –> 01:12:17.000 the issues that children have gone through. 01:12:17.000 –> 01:12:23.000 And how many of them have gone through. It says associated with their health, such as living under or 01:12:23.000 –> 01:12:25.000 under-resourced. 01:12:25.000 –> 01:12:29.000 or racially segregated neighborhoods can cause toxic stress. 01:12:29.000 –> 01:12:31.000 Um. 01:12:31.000 –> 01:12:33.000 And then I'm going to tell you this. 01:12:33.000 –> 01:12:35.000 It's very interesting. 01:12:35.000 –> 01:12:41.000 concept sometimes 01:12:41.000 –> 01:12:45.000 I am for integration. 01:12:45.000 –> 01:12:51.000 But another person shared with me this older guy. He said he was for desegregation, not integration. 01:12:51.000 –> 01:13:02.000 And that was if people want to live in a white neighborhood, they can live in a white neighborhood. If people want to live in black neighborhood, they can live in black neighborhood. But what happened with integration, they shut down, closed down many of the black schools 01:13:02.000 –> 01:13:07.000 And to integrate it in with the white schools, the black principles became the white teachers. 01:13:07.000 –> 01:13:17.000 And so in many of your urban black neighborhoods, the shops went out, the malls went out, the barbers went out. And now in most cities, you have very few 01:13:17.000 –> 01:13:24.000 Well, we still have the funeral homes and still have that, but most of the hair care products are by a different race or the whole things. 01:13:24.000 –> 01:13:28.000 And it really wiped out black or African American businesses by integration. 01:13:28.000 –> 01:13:31.000 Does that mean that I'm a forced segregation? By no means. 01:13:31.000 –> 01:13:36.000 But in the interplay of all of that, a lot of things got wiped out. 01:13:36.000 –> 01:13:38.000 And so while they say that racially 01:13:38.000 –> 01:13:45.000 segregated areas. The word segregated is the issue of where people are not allowed to live 01:13:45.000 –> 01:13:54.000 But what has happened is some of the integration, when people move into a predominantly white neighborhood, they don't see anybody like themselves, then that leads to another problem. 01:13:54.000 –> 01:14:04.000 Because in my school, it's predominantly African-American and Hispanic. So when a white person is being picked on, they're truly being picked on even more so over there because they're a minority in my school. 01:14:04.000 –> 01:14:11.000 And so it's very interesting. I have to be aware of that because when they ganged up on, it really is 01:14:11.000 –> 01:14:18.000 And other times you will see where the African-American is the minority. And other times it's the Hispanic or whatever your group of population are that makes up your school. 01:14:18.000 –> 01:14:21.000 And so each one of these things 01:14:21.000 –> 01:14:24.000 When you are living with people outside of your group. 01:14:24.000 –> 01:14:32.000 That is also interesting from those standpoints. Sometimes people feel safer living within their groups, like was already stated. 01:14:32.000 –> 01:14:38.000 But those are some kind of the issues that attack. Historical groups, social groups. 01:14:38.000 –> 01:14:52.000 When he lived around everybody in your family's Republican. Everybody in your family is independent. Everybody in your family is Baptist or Catholic and everything else. And then you come home and you're bringing home a woman who is Church of God in Christ, or you bring somebody who goes to church on a different day. 01:14:52.000 –> 01:14:55.000 the shunning that goes on in families is amazing. 01:14:55.000 –> 01:15:01.000 So all of that comes out of our childhood experiences, those zero to 17 years of age. 01:15:01.000 –> 01:15:09.000 So it's good to understand the whole ACES issues and see how many things that people have experienced when they're younger. 01:15:09.000 –> 01:15:14.000 And some of those things are positive. Some of those things are challenging. 01:15:14.000 –> 01:15:30.000 And I'll tell you this, I grew up in a middle class two parent house with people who are doctorates and college professors and sounds wonderful, sounds interesting, but my background can also mess me up. 01:15:30.000 –> 01:15:34.000 Because how then do I look at a family whose mom has five, six, seven kids 01:15:34.000 –> 01:15:38.000 Has mom finished ninth grade? 01:15:38.000 –> 01:15:43.000 If that, it has five kids by five different people. 01:15:43.000 –> 01:15:49.000 Sometimes it's not the camera, sometimes it's the photographer. 01:15:49.000 –> 01:15:57.000 Sometimes the photographer, what my training is great, but my view of my training is the problem where my biases are coming in. 01:15:57.000 –> 01:16:02.000 I'm so glad we got there. It was like something that I wrote down because the line that I liked was. 01:16:02.000 –> 01:16:06.000 being taught approval to like oneself. 01:16:06.000 –> 01:16:10.000 And then like I was connecting that to just this whole metaphor with the camera 01:16:10.000 –> 01:16:18.000 Like I wrote down, I was like, who's holding the camera though and like what lens are they like how are they reading the footage? All of that matters. And like. 01:16:18.000 –> 01:16:28.000 That's us as the social worker. Like, how are we learning to read the imagery that is being captured as we look through that camera and then also 01:16:28.000 –> 01:16:31.000 the responsibility on us to model 01:16:31.000 –> 01:16:36.000 the behavior and how we do that when we navigate the world and when we do our work. 01:16:36.000 –> 01:16:39.000 I had to learn to appreciate the fact that 01:16:39.000 –> 01:16:43.000 Boyfriend many times was the father. 01:16:43.000 –> 01:16:47.000 And that's okay. Because my first thing is why is boyfriend showing up in the meeting? 01:16:47.000 –> 01:16:50.000 Because I grew up in a house where dad and my house 01:16:50.000 –> 01:16:55.000 Boyfriend is just as important in this house. And it may be a multiple boyfriends that show up. 01:16:55.000 –> 01:16:59.000 or maybe multiple people that show about grandmother shows up. 01:16:59.000 –> 01:17:06.000 What is my bias about kids being raised by grandparents or being raised by looking at all these other things come up. 01:17:06.000 –> 01:17:08.000 And so how 01:17:08.000 –> 01:17:11.000 the way the cameras being held by me being 01:17:11.000 –> 01:17:16.000 Had to adjust. I had to learn different things. 01:17:16.000 –> 01:17:30.000 Because sometimes having a middle class, upper class background can help you. And then other times it hurts you. Or then having a coming from a quote unquote lower socioeconomic class, and now you're working with kids who are in this suburb 01:17:30.000 –> 01:17:39.000 you're like, why are they complaining? What pain do they have? I mean, they got a nice car. They got a nice house. They got all this stuff. They can go here, they can go here. Why are they coming in to make me complain? 01:17:39.000 –> 01:17:56.000 So sometimes when you grow up in a more impoverished situation, you cannot hear the pain of somebody who's coming from more of a wealthy background. And then sometimes you grow up in a wealthy background. You cannot hear the pain of somebody's coming in a low socioeconomic background. 01:17:56.000 –> 01:17:59.000 And so in my own 01:17:59.000 –> 01:18:02.000 I always tell people to check yourself on again. 01:18:02.000 –> 01:18:25.000 In my cell phone, if everybody in my cell phone looks like me, thinks like me, do I have all Democrats in mind? Do they all African-American? They're all social work related? Are they all cheering on Harris this weekend? Do I have some people cheering on Trump in my phone? Do I have people that are divorced, married, single, and all that different culture? The more my phone is diverse, the better I can relate to the world. 01:18:25.000 –> 01:18:34.000 And I can hear different issues. I can see different things. Do I delete everybody who's saying garbage board? Sometimes I'm going to delete everybody who's saying that. 01:18:34.000 –> 01:18:38.000 Vote blue. But what about those who are saying vote red, am I saying? 01:18:38.000 –> 01:18:43.000 Can I handle them? 01:18:43.000 –> 01:18:49.000 And that's the challenge of me because I have to serve a wider group of people. 01:18:49.000 –> 01:18:59.000 And I sometimes go to mass at different places and other times I go to the church of God in Christ and other times I go to, I was at a Presbyterian church this past Saturday, funeral there, spoke there. 01:18:59.000 –> 01:19:07.000 So I go to a variety of different places just to challenge my thought. 01:19:07.000 –> 01:19:13.000 So the photographer will not mess up the camera that may be working well. 01:19:13.000 –> 01:19:19.000 Nothing wrong with the camera, nothing wrong with all the social work skills and everything else we're teaching. It's the 01:19:19.000 –> 01:19:22.000 It's the photographer. 01:19:22.000 –> 01:19:25.000 That has to be challenged. 01:19:25.000 –> 01:19:26.000 What's your thoughts? 01:19:26.000 –> 01:19:30.000 What you said made me think of a situation I end up in when working with a client. 01:19:30.000 –> 01:19:35.000 I was working with someone who was homeless and well, who had been homeless 01:19:35.000 –> 01:19:41.000 And I made a comment about why didn't you just go to a shelter? Because I have always told shelters are good. And she said. 01:19:41.000 –> 01:19:44.000 that in where I live. 01:19:44.000 –> 01:19:49.000 a shelter is more unsafe than just living on the streets. And I never would have thought that 01:19:49.000 –> 01:19:51.000 Yeah. 01:19:51.000 –> 01:19:54.000 Shelters born safe. 01:19:54.000 –> 01:20:00.000 How do you handle it? And then knock down the shelter is the best. It's an interesting thing. 01:20:00.000 –> 01:20:05.000 We just automatically go to shelter. Go here, go to that person's house. 01:20:05.000 –> 01:20:11.000 I mean, go get in line, go get food stamps, go get this, go get that. It's so much of an academic experience for us. 01:20:11.000 –> 01:20:15.000 what happens when it becomes real life for us? 01:20:15.000 –> 01:20:18.000 When I had to go on unemployment for the situation. 01:20:18.000 –> 01:20:21.000 I was underemployed. And I tell you 01:20:21.000 –> 01:20:24.000 I sat in that car for a long while in that parking lot. 01:20:24.000 –> 01:20:28.000 Is anybody going to recognize me? 01:20:28.000 –> 01:20:30.000 Aren't you the one? Yes, I'm the one. 01:20:30.000 –> 01:20:37.000 When the social workouts go here to help. It's something else. 01:20:37.000 –> 01:20:39.000 Yeah. 01:20:39.000 –> 01:20:44.000 So again, not only making sure my camera's great. 01:20:44.000 –> 01:20:47.000 but also dealing with how I look at life. 01:20:47.000 –> 01:20:51.000 It just makes me think of the man in the mirror song again you know 01:20:51.000 –> 01:21:04.000 Oh, I know. That's why I ignored it. I start out with a man in the Mirror song. That's my anchor song, you know? I got to look in the mirror. And then as I look at the mirror, then I come and start assessing my childhood. 01:21:04.000 –> 01:21:10.000 Got another song for you next week, next few weeks there. I go through the whole Jackson thing, you know. 01:21:10.000 –> 01:21:12.000 And so… 01:21:12.000 –> 01:21:17.000 felt like I was using my last song today after something that's lost, but I stayed on point. 01:21:17.000 –> 01:21:21.000 We hear four people. It's 823. 01:21:21.000 –> 01:21:23.000 For people, what stood out for them tonight? 01:21:23.000 –> 01:21:31.000 As they looked at where is their childhood or our conversation, have you seen my childhood? 01:21:31.000 –> 01:21:34.000 What's your thoughts? 01:21:34.000 –> 01:21:37.000 We're people who would be number one? 01:21:37.000 –> 01:22:02.000 What stood out for you? 01:22:02.000 –> 01:22:09.000 Somebody tell us what stood out for you tonight? 01:22:09.000 –> 01:22:12.000 And this is for anything that we heard tonight. 01:22:12.000 –> 01:22:14.000 Or just a song? 01:22:14.000 –> 01:22:15.000 What? 01:22:15.000 –> 01:22:16.000 Everything we heard today, everything we heard. 01:22:16.000 –> 01:22:17.000 I really… 01:22:17.000 –> 01:22:22.000 Conversations, what you heard from other learners in the class. 01:22:22.000 –> 01:22:28.000 I really like, I don't remember the name of it, but the purple and the green 01:22:28.000 –> 01:22:35.000 I really took a lot away from that, especially the conversation and then like really applying it to 01:22:35.000 –> 01:22:40.000 My child, when I was in education, how that like, you know, how that looks 01:22:40.000 –> 01:22:44.000 also like moving forward in the work that i do now like 01:22:44.000 –> 01:22:46.000 making sure that 01:22:46.000 –> 01:22:55.000 I am like the example that we said about encouragement. I'm encouraging the curricula 01:22:55.000 –> 01:22:58.000 Mm-hmm. 01:22:58.000 –> 01:23:04.000 Oh, yeah, that's huge. Looking at that, I've seen that poem. I learned years ago. 01:23:04.000 –> 01:23:07.000 And I still… 01:23:07.000 –> 01:23:10.000 I still assess myself of that because I assess myself 01:23:10.000 –> 01:23:12.000 for the children I see. 01:23:12.000 –> 01:23:15.000 And then I assess that poem 01:23:15.000 –> 01:23:17.000 As I look at me in the mirror. 01:23:17.000 –> 01:23:20.000 Just say, why am I being so critical on this issue? 01:23:20.000 –> 01:23:23.000 Why am I being so hard on that issue? 01:23:23.000 –> 01:23:26.000 And oftentimes it's because of the way I was raised. 01:23:26.000 –> 01:23:33.000 And that goes back to not only being raised and being critical on others, it's critical on my own self. 01:23:33.000 –> 01:23:36.000 Because even though people are dead. 01:23:36.000 –> 01:23:45.000 And I could still hear them yelling at me or fussing at me. And now they're gone and I'm still fighting that issue. 01:23:45.000 –> 01:23:57.000 And a lot of times what people are fighting from a Halloween thing, a ghost from the past, a grandmother's voice, you this, you bad, you this. And without thinking about it, they pass that on to other generations. 01:23:57.000 –> 01:24:00.000 That's how many generational courses are done. 01:24:00.000 –> 01:24:02.000 Well, thank you for sharing that. 01:24:02.000 –> 01:24:04.000 What else stood out for you? Number two. 01:24:04.000 –> 01:24:08.000 We got one down, two to go. 01:24:08.000 –> 01:24:16.000 I appreciated the moments and it's sticking with me just about flipping through my phone and looking at my photos or 01:24:16.000 –> 01:24:21.000 My social media and things like that and what level of diversity 01:24:21.000 –> 01:24:24.000 is in these things, even if I don't 01:24:24.000 –> 01:24:28.000 hold the same value or the same belief or 01:24:28.000 –> 01:24:33.000 Even if I'm coming from a completely different perspective than another person. 01:24:33.000 –> 01:24:36.000 Still, the openness to be able 01:24:36.000 –> 01:24:40.000 to have space for it, respect that there's 01:24:40.000 –> 01:24:46.000 divergent thinking in the world, if you will, and that if I do 01:24:46.000 –> 01:24:49.000 cut myself off. 01:24:49.000 –> 01:24:56.000 From those information channels, I'm limiting exposure and I'm limiting my ability to 01:24:56.000 –> 01:25:00.000 We'll go back, like, you know, expand to like a more panoramic uh 01:25:00.000 –> 01:25:04.000 picture foot or frame as I look through my camera kind of thing. 01:25:04.000 –> 01:25:06.000 When I teach policy classes too. 01:25:06.000 –> 01:25:11.000 And I have to really guard myself as I grade different learners paper. 01:25:11.000 –> 01:25:17.000 Because if they are coming from more of a Republican point of view, and I'm a right, I'm a left-wing Democrat. 01:25:17.000 –> 01:25:19.000 Am I fair with their paper? 01:25:19.000 –> 01:25:25.000 Have I allowed them to argue the paper? Is their grade based on the fact that they are a Republican? 01:25:25.000 –> 01:25:30.000 Or is there great based on the fact that they have covered the content? 01:25:30.000 –> 01:25:36.000 And I have to make sure that it's content and not because they are arguing from a Republican point of view. 01:25:36.000 –> 01:25:45.000 Because that's not fair. Republicans and Democrats and independents should be able to have the same ability to get an A in my class and move forward. 01:25:45.000 –> 01:25:48.000 And I have to assess that self every time. 01:25:48.000 –> 01:25:51.000 Thank you. Two things tomorrow. 01:25:51.000 –> 01:25:53.000 We're almost done. 01:25:53.000 –> 01:25:54.000 What's it out? 01:25:54.000 –> 01:25:58.000 I think that for me, I really 01:25:58.000 –> 01:26:00.000 I guess talking about APS as well 01:26:00.000 –> 01:26:05.000 I guess kind of realizing that just because of the way i live 01:26:05.000 –> 01:26:10.000 might be clean. It might be a you know more organized house and going into a home that's 01:26:10.000 –> 01:26:17.000 not the best and not the most cleanly that just because, you know, it's not up to my standards doesn't mean that that's not up to their standards. 01:26:17.000 –> 01:26:27.000 And I think too, when I think it's Trinidad that was mentioning like the name thing, you know, we have cases that 01:26:27.000 –> 01:26:32.000 come in, you know, we've had them open 30, 40 times in adult protection and 01:26:32.000 –> 01:26:35.000 I too will look at the name and be like. 01:26:35.000 –> 01:26:36.000 Mm-hmm. 01:26:36.000 –> 01:26:39.000 All right, here we go again. But I think that 01:26:39.000 –> 01:26:44.000 because of being a social worker and because of all these classes that I've been taking 01:26:44.000 –> 01:26:48.000 Learning to, I guess, see like a different perspective and like okay well 01:26:48.000 –> 01:26:53.000 Clearly, this didn't happen or this didn't work last time, so what can I do this time that might have a better 01:26:53.000 –> 01:26:59.000 outcome or they're coming in 30 different times for a reason. So how can I prevent that instead of being so quick to judge and saying. 01:26:59.000 –> 01:27:01.000 Well, you didn't follow through with this. Well. 01:27:01.000 –> 01:27:05.000 there's a reason why they probably didn't follow through so 01:27:05.000 –> 01:27:08.000 Yeah, I guess I kind of like that aspect of the class. 01:27:08.000 –> 01:27:11.000 Cool. All righty. Thank you. 01:27:11.000 –> 01:27:14.000 Learning her backgrounds in 01:27:14.000 –> 01:27:20.000 how we differ and how we don't, how that helps us is important. 01:27:20.000 –> 01:27:24.000 Closes out. Final thought. 01:27:24.000 –> 01:27:27.000 We're at 829. Make it brief. 01:27:27.000 –> 01:27:31.000 I feel like that's a lot of pressure, but I was going to bounce off of that um 01:27:31.000 –> 01:27:32.000 Don't worry. 01:27:32.000 –> 01:27:37.000 I just, coming from also like a child protection service background, working in foster care. 01:27:37.000 –> 01:27:47.000 Similar to what you were saying where like boyfriend comes into the picture or like there's different people that come into the picture for children those children like 01:27:47.000 –> 01:27:53.000 the adults in their life mean a lot to them sometimes, regardless of the amount of abuse that they've experienced. 01:27:53.000 –> 01:27:57.000 But a lot of times we're really quick to point fingers and and you know 01:27:57.000 –> 01:28:05.000 not try to understand and kind of bash those parents, but those are like major adults in like kids lives and it's we have to 01:28:05.000 –> 01:28:13.000 I often have to remind foster parents in our program to remember to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their perspective as well. 01:28:13.000 –> 01:28:20.000 And next week, well, our next presentation in weeks number six, we're going to talk about a lot of that. 01:28:20.000 –> 01:28:23.000 Because we have to do that. 01:28:23.000 –> 01:28:30.000 So I said at the beginning, those who may need to stay on afterwards for some challenges and groups, feel free to do that. 01:28:30.000 –> 01:28:36.000 Or you can still feel free to email me. I'm going to try to work out this situation because I do recognize that some of you 01:28:36.000 –> 01:28:41.000 have had some challenges with some of your groups and we'll work through everybody so we can all 01:28:41.000 –> 01:28:43.000 get out here successfully. 01:28:43.000 –> 01:28:45.000 And if some… 01:28:45.000 –> 01:28:51.000 Assignments are a little later than I really wanted them to be. I'll live with it because we got to get done. 01:28:51.000 –> 01:28:55.000 So I have to learn to be more patient myself. 01:28:55.000 –> 01:28:57.000 Sound cool. 01:28:57.000 –> 01:29:01.000 I appreciate you understanding our childhood. 01:29:01.000 –> 01:29:03.000 issues and we look forward to 01:29:03.000 –> 01:29:07.000 Heading down Jackson Way in two more weeks. Thanks for coming tonight. 01:29:07.000 –> 01:29:09.000 I appreciate y'all. And I'm 01:29:09.000 –> 01:29:10.000 Having in. 01:29:10.000 –> 01:29:12.000 I will record you. 01:29:12.000 –> 01:29:13.000 Bye. 01:29:13.000 –> 01:29:17.000 Bye. 01:29:13.000 –> 01:29:17.000 Good night
,
WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.680 –> 00:00:03.550 Dr. Oliver Davis: Alrighty 2 00:00:04.910 –> 00:00:07.429 Dr. Oliver Davis: before we begin our presentation. 3 00:00:09.170 –> 00:00:13.239 Dr. Oliver Davis: there have been several situations going on with groups. 4 00:00:14.550 –> 00:00:18.256 Dr. Oliver Davis: and I've gotten a lot of groups. If 5 00:00:19.840 –> 00:00:22.589 Dr. Oliver Davis: you're having some issues with groups. 6 00:00:23.854 –> 00:00:31.089 Dr. Oliver Davis: people not responding back to your groups, calling you back or setting up times on time. Can you please stay afterwards 7 00:00:32.110 –> 00:00:35.200 Dr. Oliver Davis: because we can have that discussion afterwards. 8 00:00:36.040 –> 00:00:36.665 Dr. Oliver Davis: because 9 00:00:37.450 –> 00:00:41.400 Dr. Oliver Davis: it's causing some problems for a variety of people. We all have. 10 00:00:42.190 –> 00:00:46.889 Dr. Oliver Davis: a different time zone. We have to do groups, we have to do role plays. 11 00:00:47.200 –> 00:01:01.779 Dr. Oliver Davis: And I've got numerous emails requesting to switch to groups which others to groups. But some groups are working. Some groups are not working. And then just because I switch it to group doesn't mean that's gonna work them. And and that's becoming a problem. 12 00:01:02.600 –> 00:01:06.690 Dr. Oliver Davis: And if you are having in that problem. 13 00:01:07.588 –> 00:01:16.189 Dr. Oliver Davis: Maybe you I don't know. Meet, stay afterwards, or like to talk to some of you. We will not record that part of it. 14 00:01:16.230 –> 00:01:18.510 Dr. Oliver Davis: but it's more than normal 15 00:01:18.590 –> 00:01:21.410 Dr. Oliver Davis: than what I've experienced in other classes 16 00:01:21.420 –> 00:01:32.530 Dr. Oliver Davis: which has delayed several people in order to be able to turn in their assignment. That's coming up, that that was last week's different assignments that is, throwing people behind. 17 00:01:32.820 –> 00:01:39.468 Dr. Oliver Davis: So if that has affected you, which I know some of us has been affected by it. 18 00:01:40.180 –> 00:01:51.660 Dr. Oliver Davis: Continue to keep me posted. I will not harm your grade, or allow that to harm your grade, because I have been in group projects before where did not respond, and it was very frustrating. 19 00:01:52.200 –> 00:01:54.479 Dr. Oliver Davis: But the nature of this course 20 00:01:55.058 –> 00:01:59.100 Dr. Oliver Davis: with the assignments. We really need to have people to help each other out. 21 00:01:59.740 –> 00:02:02.219 Dr. Oliver Davis: And in order to do that 22 00:02:02.782 –> 00:02:05.840 Dr. Oliver Davis: so we can have some consistency each week. 23 00:02:05.860 –> 00:02:12.069 Dr. Oliver Davis: As you've had. Cbt, or whatever the theory is, you practice within your group 24 00:02:12.100 –> 00:02:23.800 Dr. Oliver Davis: and you do that. I just really want to be able to see some of you in action from that standpoint. Years ago we had to do it all in class, and then now they break it up where you do it individually. 25 00:02:24.080 –> 00:02:30.850 Dr. Oliver Davis: and my Thursday night classes. Some of you may have been in my 5 or 0 0 4. We used to go for a while. 26 00:02:31.060 –> 00:02:34.129 Dr. Oliver Davis: and that has different, says this. Change the system. 27 00:02:34.530 –> 00:02:38.920 Dr. Oliver Davis: So any questions on that before we start 28 00:02:40.450 –> 00:02:41.709 Dr. Oliver Davis: any comments? 29 00:02:46.450 –> 00:02:49.940 Dr. Oliver Davis: Alright. Well, then, stay afterwards. 30 00:02:50.180 –> 00:02:53.639 Dr. Oliver Davis: so we can make sure that we are on the same page. 31 00:02:54.228 –> 00:03:08.880 Dr. Oliver Davis: This helps your learners people yourself. It helps you because people just don't want to be late. I know. I know different situations have come up, and a lot of people have sent me their individual issues. But come on, let's work with each other, please. 32 00:03:09.010 –> 00:03:10.840 Dr. Oliver Davis: I would appreciate that. 33 00:03:11.220 –> 00:03:16.069 Dr. Oliver Davis: Because just like tonight, we're gonna be talking about trauma. And we all have enough trauma 34 00:03:16.680 –> 00:03:19.540 Dr. Oliver Davis: in our lives and being adults. And 35 00:03:19.600 –> 00:03:24.510 Dr. Oliver Davis: what's happening with this country over the next week and all these other things, there's a lot of stress going on. 36 00:03:24.990 –> 00:03:30.850 Dr. Oliver Davis: And so people have a lot of trauma in our lives, and it's not the easiest topic. 37 00:03:31.160 –> 00:03:32.050 Terri Washington: So it. 38 00:03:32.050 –> 00:03:33.180 Dr. Oliver Davis: You're gonna get through 39 00:03:34.410 –> 00:03:38.410 Dr. Oliver Davis: tonight, we're going to start off with a song. 40 00:03:38.500 –> 00:03:40.979 Dr. Oliver Davis: And as we talk about trauma 41 00:03:41.110 –> 00:03:44.829 Dr. Oliver Davis: and childhood trauma and other issues from that standpoint 42 00:03:45.210 –> 00:03:48.580 Dr. Oliver Davis: right? But like I told you before, I like to share a song. 43 00:03:48.950 –> 00:03:50.919 Dr. Oliver Davis: Not that I'm gonna sing, but 44 00:03:52.083 –> 00:03:53.830 Dr. Oliver Davis: one night. 45 00:03:54.050 –> 00:03:54.335 Kimberley Mattioli: Yeah. 46 00:03:54.910 –> 00:03:56.170 Dr. Oliver Davis: I have done that before. 47 00:03:56.710 –> 00:03:57.769 Dr. Oliver Davis: but not tonight. 48 00:04:15.920 –> 00:04:16.660 Dr. Oliver Davis: There we go. 49 00:04:22.079 –> 00:04:23.638 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hey, everyone! Put on 50 00:04:24.009 –> 00:04:24.604 Dr. Oliver Davis: there! 51 00:04:26.009 –> 00:04:28.819 Dr. Oliver Davis: mute, please. Thank you. I appreciate it. 52 00:04:31.729 –> 00:04:32.639 Dr. Oliver Davis: Thanks. 53 00:04:34.189 –> 00:04:36.659 Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you seen my childhood. 54 00:04:37.970 –> 00:04:55.690 Trinidad: I'm searching for the world that I've been looking around in the lost and found my heart. 55 00:04:56.710 –> 00:04:57.650 Trinidad: No. 56 00:04:58.490 –> 00:04:59.380 Trinidad: understand. 57 00:05:04.440 –> 00:05:08.239 Trinidad: It's a strange eccentricity 58 00:05:08.280 –> 00:05:09.470 Trinidad: he is 59 00:05:09.690 –> 00:05:12.029 Trinidad: because I keep kidding 60 00:05:14.130 –> 00:05:15.109 Trinidad: like a child 61 00:05:16.250 –> 00:05:17.360 Trinidad: and be 62 00:05:17.530 –> 00:05:20.120 Trinidad: a 63 00:05:20.690 –> 00:05:21.360 Trinidad: but 64 00:05:23.460 –> 00:05:24.390 Trinidad: was there 65 00:05:24.860 –> 00:05:25.530 Trinidad: no 66 00:05:27.930 –> 00:05:29.350 Trinidad: cause? I love 67 00:05:30.120 –> 00:05:34.930 Trinidad: such elementary thing 68 00:05:36.210 –> 00:05:38.050 Trinidad: to compensate 69 00:05:38.920 –> 00:05:39.760 Trinidad: it 70 00:05:40.000 –> 00:05:41.729 Trinidad: for the child? 71 00:05:46.740 –> 00:05:47.550 Trinidad: I've 72 00:05:47.720 –> 00:05:48.570 Trinidad: know 73 00:05:54.180 –> 00:05:56.360 Trinidad: you've seen my child. 74 00:05:58.920 –> 00:06:03.040 Trinidad: I'm searching for that wonder, and 75 00:06:03.110 –> 00:06:04.689 Trinidad: my youth 76 00:06:04.910 –> 00:06:09.810 Trinidad: like pirates in adventurous dreams. 77 00:06:10.430 –> 00:06:11.270 Trinidad: Quest 78 00:06:12.450 –> 00:06:15.360 Trinidad: the throne. 79 00:06:20.350 –> 00:06:22.530 Trinidad: Catch me! 80 00:06:23.150 –> 00:06:24.150 Trinidad: Try hard 81 00:06:24.670 –> 00:06:26.500 Trinidad: to love me 82 00:06:28.150 –> 00:06:30.190 Trinidad: in your heart. 83 00:06:41.380 –> 00:06:43.809 Trinidad: Have you seen my child? 84 00:06:46.640 –> 00:06:48.660 Trinidad: A 85 00:07:00.730 –> 00:07:01.480 Trinidad: oh. 86 00:07:13.330 –> 00:07:20.429 Trinidad: strange things that way, cause I love such. 87 00:07:22.450 –> 00:07:25.750 Trinidad: It's been my 88 00:07:29.960 –> 00:07:32.000 Trinidad: for the child 89 00:07:32.630 –> 00:07:33.560 Trinidad: shine! 90 00:07:38.930 –> 00:07:40.020 Trinidad: I've never known. 91 00:07:47.110 –> 00:07:49.289 Trinidad: Have you seen my child. 92 00:07:49.610 –> 00:07:50.310 Trinidad: but who 93 00:07:52.600 –> 00:07:55.899 Trinidad: I'm searching for that wandering? 94 00:07:56.260 –> 00:07:59.559 Trinidad: My youth, like fantastic. 95 00:08:00.850 –> 00:08:02.300 Trinidad: is to share 96 00:08:03.310 –> 00:08:04.550 Trinidad: dreams. I would dare. 97 00:08:13.130 –> 00:08:16.490 Trinidad: And your dream 98 00:08:16.850 –> 00:08:17.830 Trinidad: try hard. 99 00:08:18.690 –> 00:08:23.399 Trinidad: Want to love me, the pain 100 00:08:23.900 –> 00:08:25.330 Trinidad: aim for you 101 00:08:27.710 –> 00:08:28.390 Trinidad: I've had. 102 00:08:39.350 –> 00:08:40.770 Trinidad: Have you seen 103 00:08:42.169 –> 00:08:43.500 Trinidad: my 104 00:08:44.110 –> 00:08:45.230 Trinidad: my child? 105 00:09:00.910 –> 00:09:01.480 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm! 106 00:09:06.680 –> 00:09:07.580 Dr. Oliver Davis: Climate. 107 00:09:08.500 –> 00:09:09.849 Dr. Oliver Davis: childhood, trauma. 108 00:09:10.760 –> 00:09:13.450 Dr. Oliver Davis: what stood out for you as you listened to those words. 109 00:09:16.320 –> 00:09:17.400 Dr. Oliver Davis: childhood. 110 00:09:21.810 –> 00:09:23.380 Katie Moncelsi: It reminded me of 111 00:09:23.440 –> 00:09:30.399 Katie Moncelsi: how sometimes you talk about the parentification of children who've been in abusive homes, who end up having to be the parent. 112 00:09:30.640 –> 00:09:33.549 Katie Moncelsi: And it just it made me think about that when he's like. 113 00:09:33.710 –> 00:09:41.449 Katie Moncelsi: because obviously, you're seeing kids and all in it. And he was a child. But he never really had what we would consider a normal childhood. 114 00:09:41.950 –> 00:09:42.510 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm! 115 00:09:43.020 –> 00:09:44.999 Dr. Oliver Davis: A normal childhood. 116 00:09:45.380 –> 00:09:47.260 Dr. Oliver Davis: What's a normal childhood. 117 00:09:47.650 –> 00:09:50.590 Katie Moncelsi: I guess an unabusive one is what I mean. 118 00:09:51.600 –> 00:09:52.700 Dr. Oliver Davis: I hear you. 119 00:09:53.390 –> 00:09:56.209 Dr. Oliver Davis: I ask myself that question all the time. 120 00:09:56.820 –> 00:09:57.980 Dr. Oliver Davis: What's normal. 121 00:09:59.640 –> 00:10:03.679 Dr. Oliver Davis: Daddy? Mommy? 2 kids car, 2 garage, my house. 122 00:10:03.900 –> 00:10:04.820 Dr. Oliver Davis: corn. 123 00:10:05.060 –> 00:10:07.409 Dr. Oliver Davis: a cat, the dog a parakeet! 124 00:10:09.450 –> 00:10:10.719 Dr. Oliver Davis: Is that normal? 125 00:10:12.265 –> 00:10:12.700 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm! 126 00:10:13.300 –> 00:10:15.190 Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you seen my childhood 127 00:10:16.060 –> 00:10:23.090 Dr. Oliver Davis: in order to understand me? Oliver James Davis? Have you really taken the time to see my childhood. 128 00:10:24.390 –> 00:10:25.710 Dr. Oliver Davis: What else stood out for you? 129 00:10:26.290 –> 00:10:28.059 Dr. Oliver Davis: We're gonna talk about this tonight. 130 00:10:28.410 –> 00:10:29.280 Dr. Oliver Davis: Bye, bye. 131 00:10:29.280 –> 00:10:33.380 Trinidad: I saw the way he was sitting almost in a vulnerable state. 132 00:10:34.020 –> 00:10:36.009 Trinidad: It's very closed. Office. 133 00:10:36.560 –> 00:10:37.200 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm. 134 00:10:37.360 –> 00:10:39.450 Trinidad: Very shy. Didn't wanna 135 00:10:40.750 –> 00:10:43.010 Trinidad: kind of very closed off. 136 00:10:44.330 –> 00:10:45.510 Dr. Oliver Davis: What does that mean to you. 137 00:10:46.680 –> 00:10:46.970 Trinidad: Okay. 138 00:10:47.330 –> 00:10:54.739 Trinidad: almost trying to protect his inner self, you know. Didn't want to put himself out there. 139 00:10:56.310 –> 00:10:58.160 Dr. Oliver Davis: If you sat in front of my grandmother 140 00:10:58.210 –> 00:11:03.880 Dr. Oliver Davis: and I have my arms, I can still see it. She's been gone now for 23 years. 141 00:11:04.408 –> 00:11:11.939 Dr. Oliver Davis: But I could still see it. I'm sitting on her couch, and I'll plop down, and I have my arms like this, and she'll look over at me. 142 00:11:11.950 –> 00:11:14.000 Dr. Oliver Davis: she said, boy, what you holding on to? 143 00:11:15.400 –> 00:11:18.189 Dr. Oliver Davis: I said. Huh! She said. What you holding on to? 144 00:11:19.630 –> 00:11:23.109 Dr. Oliver Davis: She said. What's what you holding on to which means, What's what's what's bothering you? 145 00:11:25.050 –> 00:11:26.679 Dr. Oliver Davis: What am I holding on to 146 00:11:27.890 –> 00:11:31.939 Dr. Oliver Davis: within the last 24 h? I've had 4 people to die that I know. 147 00:11:33.670 –> 00:11:36.020 Dr. Oliver Davis: and so on. Facebook. It's been crazier. 148 00:11:36.530 –> 00:11:38.600 Dr. Oliver Davis: What am I holding on today's pain? 149 00:11:40.750 –> 00:11:46.810 Dr. Oliver Davis: You couldn't see that in my my bow tie you can see that I'm dressed up in Halloween colors. 150 00:11:47.720 –> 00:11:52.610 Dr. Oliver Davis: What are what are our kids holding on to when they come to our schools when they come to our therapy sessions? 151 00:11:54.050 –> 00:11:56.690 Dr. Oliver Davis: And grandma, she saw you holding like that 152 00:11:57.450 –> 00:12:00.949 Dr. Oliver Davis: because this is a vulnerable state. Anybody scared of turbulence on the plane? 153 00:12:01.480 –> 00:12:02.690 Dr. Oliver Davis: Besides me. 154 00:12:03.540 –> 00:12:10.292 Dr. Oliver Davis: Okay, yeah, I know. Okay. I know some of y'all don't want to admit it, but I am. I will admit that I have anxiety, and I'm sitting up there like. 155 00:12:10.560 –> 00:12:19.140 Dr. Oliver Davis: In fact, I had a blow in the plane. The flight attendant said, you need a therapist one time, I said. I am a therapist. Just pass me the bag, please just pass me the bag. 156 00:12:22.595 –> 00:12:23.640 Dr. Oliver Davis: Goodness! 157 00:12:24.050 –> 00:12:30.870 Dr. Oliver Davis: And I held on and held on the best time I had. I had a nun sitting next to me. She had a little, Rosie, I said, pray for me, please. 158 00:12:30.920 –> 00:12:41.609 Dr. Oliver Davis: We're going down. At least we'll go down with a prayer. So you know it's amazing what we hold on to the trauma. The fear that we hold on to. 159 00:12:43.720 –> 00:12:48.299 Katie Moncelsi: I think today a lot of the kids fear their safety going to school. 160 00:12:48.420 –> 00:12:51.399 Katie Moncelsi: and I remember going to school. I didn't have to have those fears. 161 00:12:52.090 –> 00:12:52.760 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm! 162 00:12:54.120 –> 00:12:55.519 Dr. Oliver Davis: When they get to school 163 00:12:55.920 –> 00:12:59.440 Dr. Oliver Davis: they fear walking. Going to the bus. Stop! We have fights at the bus. Stop. 164 00:13:00.530 –> 00:13:02.539 Dr. Oliver Davis: little girl. Came to me this morning. 165 00:13:02.930 –> 00:13:05.989 Dr. Oliver Davis: and this girl had threatened her. I said, are you on the bus with her? No. 166 00:13:06.610 –> 00:13:10.309 Dr. Oliver Davis: that's where they have to start off with. Are they on the bus? Because they on the bus? 167 00:13:10.330 –> 00:13:14.559 Dr. Oliver Davis: I have to go talk to the bus driver. I have to have another setup up there at your bus. Stop! 168 00:13:15.870 –> 00:13:18.739 Dr. Oliver Davis: Where's the fear coming from what's holding them in? 169 00:13:19.530 –> 00:13:22.369 Dr. Oliver Davis: Whereas making them viable, you noticed where he was sitting. 170 00:13:22.370 –> 00:13:26.040 Kimberley Mattioli: I think sometimes because I also work in a middle school. 171 00:13:26.070 –> 00:13:27.160 Kimberley Mattioli: and 172 00:13:27.680 –> 00:13:31.339 Kimberley Mattioli: what they fear, because when they get to school. 173 00:13:31.770 –> 00:13:36.330 Kimberley Mattioli: you know, they've left home. They've left the responsibilities they've left that there 174 00:13:36.350 –> 00:13:53.829 Kimberley Mattioli: they have a whole different set of anxieties. How do I look? How am I dressed? Are people talking about me is the gossip train circling to the point that it's created so much anxiety. We've had 3 fights this week that they happen like just at the edge of school and the library. 175 00:13:53.930 –> 00:13:57.039 Kimberley Mattioli: so they don't think that there's any ramifications. 176 00:13:57.970 –> 00:14:06.099 Kimberley Mattioli: And now it's created the fear of that safety of I leave home and I come to school, and then I leave again is something gonna happen to me. 177 00:14:06.850 –> 00:14:07.470 Dr. Oliver Davis: Yeah. 178 00:14:08.800 –> 00:14:10.560 Dr. Oliver Davis: Safety scary. 179 00:14:10.800 –> 00:14:12.940 Dr. Oliver Davis: I can't focus if I'm going to get beat up. 180 00:14:15.060 –> 00:14:15.780 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm. 181 00:14:17.340 –> 00:14:20.559 Dr. Oliver Davis: oh, there's a Russian up there today. I saw some kids rushing 182 00:14:21.110 –> 00:14:23.290 Dr. Oliver Davis: because they want to make sure they get breakfast. 183 00:14:25.500 –> 00:14:27.540 Dr. Oliver Davis: They don't get breakfast and our lunch. 184 00:14:28.180 –> 00:14:29.449 Dr. Oliver Davis: They don't get fed. 185 00:14:31.680 –> 00:14:33.989 Dr. Oliver Davis: Breakfast and lunch is the only meals they get. 186 00:14:34.940 –> 00:14:37.490 Dr. Oliver Davis: I used to. I live here in South Bend, Indiana. 187 00:14:38.080 –> 00:14:40.679 Dr. Oliver Davis: and it snows here a lot. 188 00:14:41.070 –> 00:14:43.330 Dr. Oliver Davis: sometimes 1520 plus inches. 189 00:14:43.920 –> 00:14:48.530 Dr. Oliver Davis: And when they just say South Bend schools closed. I say. Yay 190 00:14:48.620 –> 00:14:52.090 Dr. Oliver Davis: jumped back in my bed and I slept like a little kid. 191 00:14:53.390 –> 00:14:55.580 Dr. Oliver Davis: and then I thought about it. 192 00:14:55.680 –> 00:15:03.050 Dr. Oliver Davis: When we know a storm is coming. We can do a little bit better. We have, but sometimes this shows up on us because we have lake effects now. 193 00:15:03.450 –> 00:15:06.829 Dr. Oliver Davis: and that means that that day those kids won't get fed. 194 00:15:09.780 –> 00:15:12.529 Dr. Oliver Davis: So as I jump up and down 195 00:15:13.000 –> 00:15:17.180 Dr. Oliver Davis: for them, they're not going to jump up and down because they have to stay around the house with no food 196 00:15:20.550 –> 00:15:22.050 Dr. Oliver Davis: makes you think again. 197 00:15:22.250 –> 00:15:24.059 Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you seen my childhood? 198 00:15:24.620 –> 00:15:28.980 Dr. Oliver Davis: My childhood doesn't like to have school closed because my meals are gone. 199 00:15:29.160 –> 00:15:32.780 Dr. Oliver Davis: my breakfast is gone, my lunch is gone, my afternoon snack is gone. 200 00:15:33.340 –> 00:15:35.369 Dr. Oliver Davis: or have to stay in an abusive house 201 00:15:35.730 –> 00:15:40.340 Dr. Oliver Davis: during Covid was rough, more challenges, more issues, and everything else was amazing. 202 00:15:42.210 –> 00:15:44.969 Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you seen my childhood? Some of the words 203 00:15:45.400 –> 00:15:46.850 Dr. Oliver Davis: it says this 204 00:15:49.090 –> 00:15:51.350 Dr. Oliver Davis: before you judge me. 205 00:15:52.070 –> 00:15:54.370 Dr. Oliver Davis: Try hard to love me 206 00:15:56.660 –> 00:15:58.230 Dr. Oliver Davis: before you judge me. 207 00:15:59.650 –> 00:16:03.280 Dr. Oliver Davis: Try hard to let me. He said it several times through the song 208 00:16:04.130 –> 00:16:05.329 Dr. Oliver Davis: it comes to mind. 209 00:16:06.040 –> 00:16:08.369 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): I actually wrote those words down 210 00:16:08.670 –> 00:16:09.999 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): when the song was playing. 211 00:16:10.568 –> 00:16:13.260 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): tried to love me as the 212 00:16:13.460 –> 00:16:15.660 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): the thing that stuck out to me most, and then 213 00:16:16.080 –> 00:16:20.579 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): next to it, I wrote, instead of just looking at what you see initially, superficially. 214 00:16:20.620 –> 00:16:23.280 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): Take the time to see me as a story. 215 00:16:24.050 –> 00:16:25.279 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): and my parents. 216 00:16:25.470 –> 00:16:27.340 Dr. Oliver Davis: Tell me more about the story. 217 00:16:29.100 –> 00:16:40.839 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): you know, I remember watching like one of the 1st things that comes to mind right now is just this Instagram post that I saw some time ago, and this woman said it in another way. She says, I am not just this event. 218 00:16:40.980 –> 00:16:48.690 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): I am a series of events, and they all connect, somehow. You know, she's going on this rant and rave. But I was like, Yeah. 219 00:16:49.240 –> 00:16:50.910 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): so in that moment 220 00:16:51.594 –> 00:16:56.620 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): somebody had like said, You know you look crazy, or you look cuckoo! She's like fine. I look, cuckoo! 221 00:16:56.760 –> 00:17:03.350 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): But this is just one event. You didn't see all the other ones leading up to this right? So 222 00:17:04.040 –> 00:17:25.509 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): It's like all the all the different narratives, all of the different roles we play, all the different masks that we wear, like somebody said, you know, going to school. There's a whole new set of, I think, Kimberly said. You know, going to school. There's a whole new set of anxieties, the new set at home. Because we're wearing different masks. We're putting on different roles. We are fulfilling different narratives 223 00:17:25.988 –> 00:17:34.949 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): all led by like different archetypes, or what our pre like, what we, you know, our preconceptions and our misconceptions, or maybe some of the things that we have right 224 00:17:34.990 –> 00:17:38.690 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): about the world, carrying all of that with us all the time. 225 00:17:39.650 –> 00:17:41.230 Dr. Oliver Davis: Before you judge me. 226 00:17:41.510 –> 00:17:42.450 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): Had to be seen. 227 00:17:42.450 –> 00:17:44.309 Dr. Oliver Davis: Here are my series of stories. 228 00:17:44.310 –> 00:17:54.130 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): Yes, yes, we're. It's so complex. But at the root at the root, like hopefully, we can find some commonalities, at least through feelings, if nothing else, you know. 229 00:17:54.450 –> 00:17:55.130 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm. 230 00:17:55.680 –> 00:17:59.560 Dr. Oliver Davis: okay, class, you've just heard our whole presentation for tonight. Thank you. Have a good night. 231 00:18:01.095 –> 00:18:05.020 Dr. Oliver Davis: You summed it up nicely. 232 00:18:05.020 –> 00:18:07.228 Kimberley Mattioli: Anniversary today, 21 years. 233 00:18:07.670 –> 00:18:13.319 Dr. Oliver Davis: Oh, cool! And you are different in your snapshot today than you were 21 years ago. 234 00:18:13.320 –> 00:18:14.744 Kimberley Mattioli: Oh, yes, I am. 235 00:18:15.820 –> 00:18:18.739 Dr. Oliver Davis: You know, and seeing the different series of my life. 236 00:18:20.520 –> 00:18:22.419 Dr. Oliver Davis: it's interesting when I look at them. 237 00:18:23.050 –> 00:18:25.269 Dr. Oliver Davis: the good parts, the sad parts. 238 00:18:26.164 –> 00:18:29.680 Dr. Oliver Davis: Today. I've been going through a lot of pictures with my friends who have passed. 239 00:18:29.870 –> 00:18:32.070 Dr. Oliver Davis: and I saw some of them. I'm like, Wow. 240 00:18:32.860 –> 00:18:33.860 Dr. Oliver Davis: you know. 241 00:18:34.915 –> 00:18:36.490 Dr. Oliver Davis: I've learned to keep pictures. 242 00:18:37.680 –> 00:18:42.499 Dr. Oliver Davis: I've learned to keep pictures of my victories and keep pictures of my losses. 243 00:18:43.320 –> 00:18:45.300 Dr. Oliver Davis: because they're all different series of me. 244 00:18:46.500 –> 00:18:48.750 Dr. Oliver Davis: If I only keep pictures of my victories 245 00:18:48.810 –> 00:18:50.240 Dr. Oliver Davis: that's unrealistic. 246 00:18:50.610 –> 00:18:59.619 Dr. Oliver Davis: and I don't know how to plan for downtimes. I've only keep pictures of my sad times. That's also unrealistic, and it's too depressing. I don't know how to make it. 247 00:19:00.760 –> 00:19:02.419 Dr. Oliver Davis: Keeping pictures of both 248 00:19:02.810 –> 00:19:04.300 Dr. Oliver Davis: balances me out. 249 00:19:04.990 –> 00:19:08.509 Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you seen my childhood? He says, before you love me. 250 00:19:08.830 –> 00:19:10.400 Dr. Oliver Davis: But how the Netherlands says 251 00:19:11.950 –> 00:19:15.350 Dr. Oliver Davis: The painful youth I've had! 252 00:19:17.220 –> 00:19:18.930 Dr. Oliver Davis: What pains have you had? 253 00:19:20.530 –> 00:19:23.049 Dr. Oliver Davis: What's been their pains before they come to see you. 254 00:19:23.110 –> 00:19:28.869 Dr. Oliver Davis: or while they are still seeing you, young man. Today I've I've known him since. Now I'm going to my second year. 255 00:19:28.950 –> 00:19:35.019 Dr. Oliver Davis: He asked to see me today. I was rushing, doing something else, and I was in the office, and he said, Is Mr. Davis there? 256 00:19:35.840 –> 00:19:44.680 Dr. Oliver Davis: And then I looked out, because when somebody has caused my name. I know they have personally requested, and I recognized his voice, and I said, I have something else to do. But can you wait for a few minutes, he said, Yeah, I'll wait. 257 00:19:45.960 –> 00:19:46.530 Dr. Oliver Davis: And 258 00:19:47.290 –> 00:19:50.220 Dr. Oliver Davis: I was looking at him because I said, he's not in trouble. What's going on. 259 00:19:50.920 –> 00:19:53.830 Dr. Oliver Davis: And so, after I finished my other situation, I called him in. 260 00:19:53.880 –> 00:19:55.070 Dr. Oliver Davis: I said, What's up, man? 261 00:19:56.200 –> 00:19:59.030 Dr. Oliver Davis: My parents announced to me this week they're going through a divorce. 262 00:20:02.040 –> 00:20:04.542 Dr. Oliver Davis: and I said, it's harder focuses. And he said, 263 00:20:07.580 –> 00:20:09.549 Dr. Oliver Davis: we just pause for a few minutes 264 00:20:10.330 –> 00:20:13.560 Dr. Oliver Davis: instead of top it off. My dad got arrested this weekend, too. 265 00:20:18.350 –> 00:20:20.830 Dr. Oliver Davis: Yeah, we got on Thursday. Yeah. 266 00:20:21.270 –> 00:20:23.740 Dr. Oliver Davis: who couldn't focus this weekend and asked to see me. 267 00:20:24.310 –> 00:20:26.500 Dr. Oliver Davis: You could play uno all the time last year 268 00:20:27.220 –> 00:20:28.319 Dr. Oliver Davis: pretty good player 269 00:20:29.550 –> 00:20:38.720 Dr. Oliver Davis: in 6th grade, and so I hadn't seen him, and he came and asked for me today, and we just sat there. I said, I need you to check in with me for a few weeks, because this is not going away today. 270 00:20:39.040 –> 00:20:40.239 Dr. Oliver Davis: He says, I know. 271 00:20:42.750 –> 00:20:43.490 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm! 272 00:20:44.650 –> 00:20:46.419 Dr. Oliver Davis: The painful youth 273 00:20:46.570 –> 00:20:47.690 Dr. Oliver Davis: I have. 274 00:20:50.520 –> 00:20:52.159 Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you seen my childhood? 275 00:20:53.740 –> 00:21:01.339 Dr. Oliver Davis: He checked in for about 15 min and then send them on back to class. So sometimes we're checking for 5 min, other times we're checking for 10, 276 00:21:01.740 –> 00:21:04.310 Dr. Oliver Davis: he said. I know where you are, I said. Cool 277 00:21:07.000 –> 00:21:08.480 Dr. Oliver Davis: kind of cool, having a 278 00:21:09.570 –> 00:21:11.250 Dr. Oliver Davis: 12 year old. Come, look for you. 279 00:21:14.420 –> 00:21:15.589 Dr. Oliver Davis: share his pain. 280 00:21:17.790 –> 00:21:20.420 Dr. Oliver Davis: get a little pep talk and head on back to class. 281 00:21:22.500 –> 00:21:23.479 Dr. Oliver Davis: What's your thoughts? 282 00:21:28.630 –> 00:21:33.715 Derek Howell: I really particularly heard him when he said 283 00:21:34.440 –> 00:21:36.759 Derek Howell: The wonder of childhood! 284 00:21:38.070 –> 00:21:39.700 Dr. Oliver Davis: Oh, 4 talked about that. 285 00:21:41.040 –> 00:21:42.530 Dr. Oliver Davis: Go for it. Tell me. 286 00:21:42.530 –> 00:21:46.010 Derek Howell: Oh, and so and and so it made me think of not only like 287 00:21:46.190 –> 00:21:51.829 Derek Howell: the the like of the admiration of wonder, of childhood, but also of like 288 00:21:52.010 –> 00:21:59.650 Derek Howell: and the the mysticism behind childhood like. You know how, with this big world that we don't know, but also these 289 00:21:59.860 –> 00:22:09.910 Derek Howell: unfamiliar things that we ex that children experience that they don't quite understand like, particularly like a divorce like. 290 00:22:10.250 –> 00:22:21.030 Derek Howell: So what is all of that about? And so how do they figure out that. And then so how does that play into the rest of their life? So that's that's where my mind went when I heard that what he said, based on the 291 00:22:21.150 –> 00:22:23.020 Derek Howell: topic that you're talking about. 292 00:22:23.440 –> 00:22:24.050 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm! 293 00:22:25.380 –> 00:22:30.729 Dr. Oliver Davis: I told him. I said if you had asked me that several years ago, I really wouldn't understand. But now that I've gone through it. 294 00:22:31.160 –> 00:22:32.470 Dr. Oliver Davis: said, It's crazy. 295 00:22:34.610 –> 00:22:36.059 Dr. Oliver Davis: He nodded his hair. 296 00:22:39.370 –> 00:22:40.330 Dr. Oliver Davis: It's crazy. 297 00:22:43.170 –> 00:22:43.850 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm! 298 00:22:44.100 –> 00:22:47.520 Dr. Oliver Davis: The wonder you think about wonder you think about. 299 00:22:47.710 –> 00:22:50.389 Dr. Oliver Davis: and something that's great, grand, and wonderful. 300 00:22:50.820 –> 00:22:52.170 Dr. Oliver Davis: Wonder. Woman. 301 00:22:52.240 –> 00:22:57.300 Dr. Oliver Davis: child of wonder, child of, you know. Wonder something great Christmas time wonder! 302 00:22:58.760 –> 00:23:00.969 Dr. Oliver Davis: But sometimes that wonder is not so great 303 00:23:04.940 –> 00:23:05.730 Dr. Oliver Davis: and 304 00:23:06.460 –> 00:23:08.150 Dr. Oliver Davis: painful. Youth I've had. 305 00:23:09.780 –> 00:23:10.820 Dr. Oliver Davis: and 306 00:23:11.100 –> 00:23:12.679 Dr. Oliver Davis: at a master's level. 307 00:23:12.830 –> 00:23:15.110 Dr. Oliver Davis: I use my systems theory as a camera. 308 00:23:17.620 –> 00:23:22.410 Dr. Oliver Davis: I didn't add this to my thing, but I'll go to it real quick, real quick before I go to my next one. 309 00:23:23.290 –> 00:23:25.679 Dr. Oliver Davis: But I have to, because my head is there. 310 00:23:27.960 –> 00:23:29.869 Dr. Oliver Davis: My head is there. I'm gonna go to there. 311 00:23:32.340 –> 00:23:36.819 Dr. Oliver Davis: really appreciate about the Google career certificate is you're not just sticking your nose in. 312 00:23:55.080 –> 00:23:56.710 Dr. Oliver Davis: And I look at these cameras 313 00:23:57.550 –> 00:23:59.230 Dr. Oliver Davis: at the bachelor's level. 314 00:24:00.250 –> 00:24:02.910 Dr. Oliver Davis: They may just have a simple cell phone camera 315 00:24:04.210 –> 00:24:05.989 Dr. Oliver Davis: at the master's level 316 00:24:06.350 –> 00:24:08.689 Dr. Oliver Davis: and higher as we get to the graduate level. 317 00:24:08.840 –> 00:24:11.369 Dr. Oliver Davis: we start using these professional cameras 318 00:24:14.010 –> 00:24:20.559 Dr. Oliver Davis: as we look for the painful childhood. We what what's the difference of these kind of cameras versus the ones that's on your cell phone? 319 00:24:24.400 –> 00:24:28.090 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): This one is specifically made for taking pictures. 320 00:24:28.330 –> 00:24:32.159 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): or by capturing an image, or a moment or. 321 00:24:33.070 –> 00:24:39.369 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): Whereas the other device, it's kind of like being a jack of all trades, and having all of that. But this one having like focus. 322 00:24:40.100 –> 00:24:41.330 Dr. Oliver Davis: Having focus. 323 00:24:41.980 –> 00:24:50.090 Dr. Oliver Davis: And it's specifically made. You are being specifically trained in this course. And then with the Msw. To see things that you did not see prior to coming in here. 324 00:24:50.220 –> 00:24:52.910 Dr. Oliver Davis: You may have seen some jacks of law trade things. 325 00:24:53.270 –> 00:25:04.259 Dr. Oliver Davis: but you will be able to hopefully, as you study and practice with Sanchez family and all these other ones. You're going to be able to 0 in with that cannon 326 00:25:04.810 –> 00:25:08.519 Dr. Oliver Davis: and see things that others may not see 327 00:25:09.290 –> 00:25:10.889 Dr. Oliver Davis: where they see a son. 328 00:25:11.030 –> 00:25:12.280 Dr. Oliver Davis: You see the pain 329 00:25:12.770 –> 00:25:14.780 Dr. Oliver Davis: in that boy in that girl 330 00:25:15.280 –> 00:25:18.359 Dr. Oliver Davis: you see the pain in that, mama. Then there, isn't it? 331 00:25:19.330 –> 00:25:20.400 Dr. Oliver Davis: You feel it. 332 00:25:21.170 –> 00:25:23.100 Dr. Oliver Davis: and you hear it in a different way. 333 00:25:24.280 –> 00:25:26.589 Dr. Oliver Davis: and you're able to adjust your camera 334 00:25:26.870 –> 00:25:27.849 Dr. Oliver Davis: to see him. 335 00:25:28.730 –> 00:25:29.839 Dr. Oliver Davis: What's your thoughts? 336 00:25:32.040 –> 00:25:36.769 Courtney Keith: I think that with this camera, too, the difference is, you can edit a lot more. 337 00:25:37.710 –> 00:25:39.139 Dr. Oliver Davis: Tell me more about that editing. 338 00:25:40.628 –> 00:25:45.550 Courtney Keith: You know, you can do basic edits on like an iphone with your pictures. But 339 00:25:45.630 –> 00:25:52.570 Courtney Keith: I mean, I don't have a professional camera, but I'm assuming it has more functionality to like Photoshop 340 00:25:53.449 –> 00:25:54.279 Courtney Keith: to 341 00:25:54.750 –> 00:25:55.880 Courtney Keith: take out. 342 00:25:56.030 –> 00:26:14.420 Courtney Keith: I mean, yeah, Photoshop, like, take out stuff that's there. Add stuff that's not there change the coloring, the brightness, the settings and things of that nature. So you can really. And it depends on who's operating the camera, too. You know, a professional photographer can really take nothing and make it into something with a lot of editing. 343 00:26:15.210 –> 00:26:17.560 Dr. Oliver Davis: Lot of editing. They go into that dark room 344 00:26:18.260 –> 00:26:20.960 Dr. Oliver Davis: and being able to see things. 345 00:26:21.110 –> 00:26:23.770 Dr. Oliver Davis: we're learning how to work and edit in that dark room 346 00:26:24.860 –> 00:26:28.749 Dr. Oliver Davis: to be understand, to understand the painful use 347 00:26:29.120 –> 00:26:30.180 Dr. Oliver Davis: to hear 348 00:26:30.400 –> 00:26:34.419 Dr. Oliver Davis: issues about the childhood, the searching for the wonder in youth. 349 00:26:35.150 –> 00:26:35.920 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm! 350 00:26:36.600 –> 00:26:38.450 Dr. Oliver Davis: People say that I'm strange 351 00:26:38.750 –> 00:26:42.509 Dr. Oliver Davis: you'll be able to see strange things through this camera. 352 00:26:43.860 –> 00:26:46.160 Dr. Oliver Davis: and then they don't become so strange to you anymore. 353 00:26:48.020 –> 00:26:49.900 Dr. Oliver Davis: When I 1st got to middle school 354 00:26:51.340 –> 00:27:08.819 Dr. Oliver Davis: I had not really experienced. I've heard about it and read about it, because, being a therapist, but I had not experienced all the cutting childhood cutting, I went through a few years ago. 6th grade was cutting like crazy. I mean, it was just like a fad going through 6th grade cutting after cutting parents coming up there, and this time of year 355 00:27:08.850 –> 00:27:11.100 Dr. Oliver Davis: I'm getting called. Mr. Davis. Mr. Davis. 356 00:27:11.130 –> 00:27:18.680 Dr. Oliver Davis: Oh, sir, come, see, my friend, I'm like, you know. Open up! Take the arm. Me and the nurse. We've been there so many times. Kids cutting 357 00:27:18.790 –> 00:27:22.730 Dr. Oliver Davis: cutting was strange to me at first, st but then it became normal. 358 00:27:24.020 –> 00:27:27.180 Dr. Oliver Davis: I hated it. It became normal, but it really did. 359 00:27:27.840 –> 00:27:36.390 Dr. Oliver Davis: And having to see the pain behind all the cutting that went on. And it wasn't just the girls. It wasn't just one race we had boys cutting girls cutting. 360 00:27:36.490 –> 00:27:51.390 Dr. Oliver Davis: cutting their arms, cutting their shirts, cutting that they would rather focus on the pain of having a painful arm than going through the pain of their parents. Divorce or going through. We have several kids that were going through transitions. One started 6th grade, 7th grade 361 00:27:51.770 –> 00:27:54.419 Dr. Oliver Davis: from being a boy to being a girl. 362 00:27:54.910 –> 00:27:57.049 Dr. Oliver Davis: and the transition of all of that 363 00:27:57.470 –> 00:27:59.520 Dr. Oliver Davis: had to go through. And so 364 00:27:59.940 –> 00:28:01.489 Dr. Oliver Davis: just a lot of pain. 365 00:28:01.710 –> 00:28:10.980 Dr. Oliver Davis: And so what seemed strange to me when I started focusing in on my camera my professional camera and learning more about it really became clearer to me. 366 00:28:12.080 –> 00:28:13.100 Dr. Oliver Davis: your thoughts. 367 00:28:22.600 –> 00:28:23.560 Dr. Oliver Davis: the camera. 368 00:28:24.920 –> 00:28:28.009 Kimberley Mattioli: I would agree with what you're saying. I'm just taking. 369 00:28:28.580 –> 00:28:32.189 Kimberley Mattioli: I've done social type work for a long time 370 00:28:32.650 –> 00:28:35.430 Kimberley Mattioli: and working with cps when I 1st started 371 00:28:37.310 –> 00:28:45.570 Kimberley Mattioli: was seeing things from a very small lens like, you know, seeing the worst that people can do to themselves and each other and their and their children. 372 00:28:45.930 –> 00:28:58.979 Kimberley Mattioli: But as I learn more and agree more in the profession, and obviously this is my second master. So learning through that process. And now this I've got like the big lens going now, where 373 00:28:59.370 –> 00:29:03.750 Kimberley Mattioli: things are so much bigger than that moment and so much bigger than this 374 00:29:04.020 –> 00:29:07.249 Kimberley Mattioli: child and abuse and neglect case. It's 375 00:29:07.370 –> 00:29:20.960 Kimberley Mattioli: not just one moment, but that's also not necessarily always what you see. First, st like a bad parent, an abusive parent. There's there's a bigger picture and a bigger lens. And sometimes it does take 376 00:29:21.060 –> 00:29:25.419 Kimberley Mattioli: those little minute details that you can see with that bigger lens 377 00:29:25.810 –> 00:29:32.239 Kimberley Mattioli: to be able to pinpoint where some of the difficulty your trauma is, and how to better help them. 378 00:29:33.570 –> 00:29:34.270 Dr. Oliver Davis: Yeah. 379 00:29:34.791 –> 00:29:37.998 Dr. Oliver Davis: years ago I was working with a group of students and 380 00:29:39.410 –> 00:29:41.830 Dr. Oliver Davis: the person we would go in home visits. 381 00:29:42.190 –> 00:29:50.939 Dr. Oliver Davis: and when they were giving their reports the person was talking about, but when I walked in the house there were roaches. There was this, there was that, and I finally stopped, and I said, Excuse me. 382 00:29:51.290 –> 00:29:54.659 Dr. Oliver Davis: I said, Who's your client, the roach, or the person? 383 00:29:56.640 –> 00:29:58.170 Dr. Oliver Davis: I said, Who's your client? 384 00:29:58.570 –> 00:30:01.910 Dr. Oliver Davis: You started off talking about the roaches and things that were in the house. 385 00:30:03.690 –> 00:30:08.040 Dr. Oliver Davis: Yeah, but they were roaches. But why did you start off with that? What's the road to your client? 386 00:30:09.650 –> 00:30:12.009 Dr. Oliver Davis: Well, I didn't want them on my clothes. You can clean your clothes. 387 00:30:12.940 –> 00:30:14.580 Dr. Oliver Davis: take your clothes to laundry. 388 00:30:15.860 –> 00:30:17.219 Dr. Oliver Davis: you can do other things. 389 00:30:18.380 –> 00:30:23.579 Dr. Oliver Davis: Who's your client? When were you focusing in was your camera focused so much on that roach, that spider? 390 00:30:24.800 –> 00:30:34.760 Dr. Oliver Davis: I'm not saying to ignore it. I understand I've had to do home visits. I had to do home assessments. I understand that I've had to write up to how the house was not so tidy, and other things. I'm not going to ignore it. 391 00:30:34.940 –> 00:30:39.280 Dr. Oliver Davis: But is my main part of the lens on the roaches that are running up and down the house. 392 00:30:39.470 –> 00:30:40.770 Dr. Oliver Davis: or my client? 393 00:30:47.250 –> 00:30:51.490 Dr. Oliver Davis: And so we'll pause. What are your what do you go into? Is it all the smell? 394 00:30:51.790 –> 00:30:59.050 Dr. Oliver Davis: There's a smell of poverty that is really true. I've worked in Alabama. I've worked in Ohio, worked in Indiana. I've worked in Michigan 395 00:30:59.280 –> 00:31:01.229 Dr. Oliver Davis: and all 4 States. 396 00:31:01.470 –> 00:31:05.579 Dr. Oliver Davis: and when I've gone to home supply I've done home visits in all 4 States. 397 00:31:06.615 –> 00:31:10.710 Dr. Oliver Davis: In various cities in these States. But poverty smells the same to me 398 00:31:10.750 –> 00:31:21.000 Dr. Oliver Davis: where there was country pot. Well, real poverty has a little bit different, because you're going to add some animals, some chickens, and some dogs, and some other stuff into that, and going to spice it up some. But everybody. It's amazing. 399 00:31:21.070 –> 00:31:21.615 Dr. Oliver Davis: but 400 00:31:22.310 –> 00:31:23.170 Dr. Oliver Davis: Still. 401 00:31:23.330 –> 00:31:25.150 Dr. Oliver Davis: poverty has a certain smell. 402 00:31:26.050 –> 00:31:27.639 Dr. Oliver Davis: Who's your client? The roach? 403 00:31:30.120 –> 00:31:36.389 Dr. Oliver Davis: What do you see when you walk into a homeless? When you see somebody that comes in. Mom is not dressed right. Daddy's not dressed right 404 00:31:36.520 –> 00:31:40.490 Dr. Oliver Davis: well. They got silver teeth and missing tooth. Or what do you see when you're talking to them. 405 00:31:45.120 –> 00:32:05.280 Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you see some things that look strange to you? Because you may have grown up in a 2 parent home, mom, dad, or you. It may look strange with you. You may have grown up in a single home, or you may have grown up with Mom and Mom or Dad. And Dad. So now you're working with another family, because now, once you get out of your own home and you start working with other homes, things may look strange to you 406 00:32:06.030 –> 00:32:21.530 Dr. Oliver Davis: and one of my classes at where I was working. My master's at Ohio State. I was the only African American in the class, and they every time they had a diversity question kept asking me and asking me, one of my classmates said to me, I know you get tired of asking answering the questions. When we do that, I said, Yeah, I'm kind of sick of it. 407 00:32:21.570 –> 00:32:27.540 Dr. Oliver Davis: But she told me this, and I'll never forget it, she said. You're the 1st African American male I've ever met in person. 408 00:32:28.130 –> 00:32:39.749 Dr. Oliver Davis: So I grew up in all white neighborhood, went to all white schools. I went to all white churches. I went to everything white. My! Everything in my life has been white. I came here to school. You're the 1st person, and when I went to my Caseload. My caseload is all black. 409 00:32:41.310 –> 00:32:47.419 Dr. Oliver Davis: He's the 1st one. So everything you're saying I'm writing down because I have no experience in working with my caseload. 410 00:32:49.310 –> 00:32:50.600 Dr. Oliver Davis: And I said, Okay. 411 00:32:51.600 –> 00:32:53.758 Dr. Oliver Davis: and sometimes I've switched what 412 00:32:55.000 –> 00:33:00.490 Dr. Oliver Davis: that was strange for her. What's been strange for you? Different populations, distant backgrounds are strange. 413 00:33:03.400 –> 00:33:04.419 Dr. Oliver Davis: What's your thoughts 414 00:33:04.980 –> 00:33:07.780 Dr. Oliver Davis: when you think of strange working with different backgrounds. 415 00:33:09.470 –> 00:33:10.460 Trinidad: I worked 416 00:33:10.780 –> 00:33:13.471 Trinidad: for a long time as 417 00:33:14.070 –> 00:33:21.680 Trinidad: a service coordinator. From that I worked in Aps for a long time, so I got to see a lot of 418 00:33:22.260 –> 00:33:26.809 Trinidad: different backgrounds, cultures. The way people live. 419 00:33:27.844 –> 00:33:33.370 Trinidad: Sometimes, you know, one ethnicity or one set race 420 00:33:35.220 –> 00:33:43.140 Trinidad: like you kinda already know what you're going into, and sadly, I you know I would see a name. 421 00:33:43.410 –> 00:33:46.110 Trinidad: and I already became biased 422 00:33:46.270 –> 00:33:47.580 Trinidad: or prejudice. 423 00:33:47.940 –> 00:33:49.450 Trinidad: and 424 00:33:49.500 –> 00:33:51.460 Trinidad: I'm from Pennsylvania. 425 00:33:51.700 –> 00:34:05.459 Trinidad: So we have a lot of trailer parks and stuff, you know, up in the Poconos or up in Bethlehem, and you know those places, and as soon as I saw a name I would tell my supervisor like 426 00:34:06.320 –> 00:34:07.861 Trinidad: I don't wanna go there. 427 00:34:08.600 –> 00:34:16.269 Trinidad: And she she would say, why, I turned out, and and it was sad, and I would say, these are my reasons why. 428 00:34:16.750 –> 00:34:18.000 Trinidad: And 429 00:34:18.500 –> 00:34:22.730 Trinidad: you know, when you work in that field for so long, you Co, you almost 430 00:34:22.820 –> 00:34:23.765 Trinidad: become 431 00:34:25.960 –> 00:34:34.779 Trinidad: you become immune. But you almost recognize where you're going to walk into before you even walk into the situation just by a name. 432 00:34:38.960 –> 00:34:41.820 Trinidad: and and and I would have to 433 00:34:42.630 –> 00:34:46.960 Trinidad: put on my rain boots, cause I always kept a pair of rain boots in my car 434 00:34:48.159 –> 00:34:53.970 Trinidad: and walk into the home and just put on the face like, Okay, here I am. I'm here for you. 435 00:34:54.639 –> 00:34:59.669 Trinidad: Let you know I'm here to provide for whatever you need, and just keep it moving. 436 00:35:00.220 –> 00:35:07.950 Trinidad: But yes, during my time I developed some type of bias and prejudice just because of the name. 437 00:35:08.840 –> 00:35:11.600 Dr. Oliver Davis: Thank you for being honest, because it's being real. 438 00:35:12.880 –> 00:35:15.909 Dr. Oliver Davis: And our challenge is, how do we not do that? 439 00:35:16.100 –> 00:35:19.009 Dr. Oliver Davis: Number one is, we have to realize we are doing it 440 00:35:19.420 –> 00:35:20.960 Dr. Oliver Davis: just because of names. 441 00:35:21.270 –> 00:35:23.429 Dr. Oliver Davis: People can look at people's zip codes 442 00:35:23.570 –> 00:35:33.419 Dr. Oliver Davis: as a city council person. I can look at zip codes and or streets when somebody comes before me. I know exactly. Well, not exactly. I have a great idea of what's going on just by your Zip code. 443 00:35:34.090 –> 00:35:41.809 Dr. Oliver Davis: Insurance companies do that, too. If you have certain zip codes and cities, you pay more insurance on your car, your house than other other zip codes 444 00:35:42.040 –> 00:35:47.989 Dr. Oliver Davis: just because of the Zip code where it's located, or the assumption that there is more crime. 445 00:35:48.510 –> 00:35:59.140 Dr. Oliver Davis: I live on the southwest side of the South Bend, Indiana, and people think that there's more crime on the southwest side. If you look at the actual record, it's not but a lot of times that's betrayed on the media. 446 00:35:59.570 –> 00:36:06.909 Dr. Oliver Davis: We have another shooting on the west side of sound. When there's a shooting on the east side of town. They have, they would say there was a shooting in South Bend. 447 00:36:07.720 –> 00:36:18.689 Dr. Oliver Davis: Okay, they would say, shooting in South Bend. But when it's on the west side there was a shooting on the west side. I have never said heard them say there was shooting on the East Side. Oh, seldom did they say that 448 00:36:18.960 –> 00:36:31.539 Dr. Oliver Davis: it's normally, if it's on the East Side shooting on the east. Shooting in South Bend. It was on the west side they identify as West Side. So those kind of things play into how people see going to people's homes 449 00:36:31.720 –> 00:36:33.179 Dr. Oliver Davis: just by our media. 450 00:36:35.110 –> 00:36:37.349 Trinidad: I would. I would almost 451 00:36:37.500 –> 00:36:44.159 Trinidad: like I when I would tell my supervisor I would almost be like, leave me in the city. I don't want to go into rural areas. 452 00:36:44.320 –> 00:36:58.050 Trinidad: Leave me in the city, I'd be like, leave me with my Hispanic people. Don't send me up into the rural areas. I don't want to go to the trailer Parks. I don't want to go into the nice houses. No, leave me here. I feel safer in the city. 453 00:36:59.930 –> 00:37:04.719 Dr. Oliver Davis: I was telling my daughter the other night. My grandfather, on my dad's side, lived in a trailer park. 454 00:37:05.500 –> 00:37:08.410 Dr. Oliver Davis: and grandma lived in interesting house 455 00:37:09.020 –> 00:37:11.539 Dr. Oliver Davis: as a kid. We was just going to grandpa's house. 456 00:37:12.000 –> 00:37:16.230 Dr. Oliver Davis: It's when I got into older life. Then I realized Granddaddy was living in Trailer Park 457 00:37:17.010 –> 00:37:19.230 Dr. Oliver Davis: as a kid. It was just Grandaddy's house. 458 00:37:20.700 –> 00:37:25.360 Dr. Oliver Davis: I didn't. I never thought that we were going there, I mean, he lived in Tampa, Florida. 459 00:37:25.430 –> 00:37:28.769 Dr. Oliver Davis: and all those hurricanes and everything. We wouldn't trailer park the storms. 460 00:37:29.660 –> 00:37:33.640 Dr. Oliver Davis: And it's amazing to me now when I see trailer parks. 461 00:37:33.900 –> 00:37:39.620 Dr. Oliver Davis: when I used to look forward to just going to grandparents house. And now I never equated 462 00:37:40.080 –> 00:37:41.719 Dr. Oliver Davis: Trailer Park as low 463 00:37:41.790 –> 00:37:46.600 Dr. Oliver Davis: class people, because trailer parks met Grandpa Daddy's house. 464 00:37:47.100 –> 00:37:48.250 Dr. Oliver Davis: Just interesting. 465 00:37:49.420 –> 00:37:53.370 Dr. Oliver Davis: How I saw it out of my camera, how I saw the world out of my camera. 466 00:37:53.420 –> 00:38:01.818 Dr. Oliver Davis: and now how things have jaded my vision, and how I have to clean off my camera, because my lenses have been 467 00:38:03.250 –> 00:38:06.240 Dr. Oliver Davis: stained by life's prejudice 468 00:38:06.410 –> 00:38:08.610 Dr. Oliver Davis: and other things that have happened. 469 00:38:10.100 –> 00:38:11.670 Dr. Oliver Davis: As I look at my camera. 470 00:38:12.750 –> 00:38:15.179 Dr. Oliver Davis: some of that comes from houses 471 00:38:15.440 –> 00:38:17.000 Dr. Oliver Davis: that we hear. 472 00:38:18.970 –> 00:38:23.020 Dr. Oliver Davis: If we look at child childhood trauma and issues 473 00:38:26.170 –> 00:38:28.580 Dr. Oliver Davis: we have to deal with the issue of 474 00:38:28.670 –> 00:38:29.729 Dr. Oliver Davis: this poem. 475 00:38:31.690 –> 00:38:35.849 Dr. Oliver Davis: Some you may have heard this point, and I like for somebody to read 476 00:38:36.090 –> 00:38:39.699 Dr. Oliver Davis: that point. Let me put it. Scott children live what they learn. 477 00:38:42.060 –> 00:38:49.089 Dr. Oliver Davis: and, says he, I know we do with pronouns now it's written 79, but just go with he or she, whatever you want to go with 478 00:38:54.300 –> 00:38:55.739 Dr. Oliver Davis: somebody volunteer and go for it. 479 00:38:56.520 –> 00:39:04.390 Lillian Dalton: Sure I will. I'll I'll do it. Okay. If a child lives with criticism he learns to condemn. 480 00:39:04.410 –> 00:39:07.850 Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with hostility. He learns to fight. 481 00:39:08.020 –> 00:39:12.099 Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with ridicule, he is, he learns to be shy. 482 00:39:12.480 –> 00:39:15.809 Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty. 483 00:39:16.050 –> 00:39:19.470 Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient. 484 00:39:19.620 –> 00:39:23.179 Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence. 485 00:39:23.320 –> 00:39:30.430 Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate. If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice. 486 00:39:30.630 –> 00:39:34.159 Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith. 487 00:39:34.390 –> 00:39:38.259 Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with approval. He learns to like himself. 488 00:39:38.410 –> 00:39:43.219 Lillian Dalton: If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world. 489 00:39:44.570 –> 00:39:48.380 Dr. Oliver Davis: Thank you. Ms. Dorothy Lou Notes wrote that as part of her doctorate 490 00:39:48.800 –> 00:39:49.910 Dr. Oliver Davis: years ago. 491 00:39:50.450 –> 00:39:52.109 Dr. Oliver Davis: Children live what they do. 492 00:39:52.200 –> 00:39:54.380 Dr. Oliver Davis: children learn what they live 493 00:39:56.270 –> 00:40:00.550 Dr. Oliver Davis: what stood out for you as you read that, and then we have others to chime in. 494 00:40:03.220 –> 00:40:08.198 Lillian Dalton: I've worked with a lot of a lot of children and a lot of students 495 00:40:08.820 –> 00:40:14.360 Lillian Dalton: just in life in general and also in the field. And 496 00:40:16.550 –> 00:40:19.559 Lillian Dalton: I love this poem in reading it, it's 497 00:40:19.670 –> 00:40:21.830 Lillian Dalton: it's so true, because. 498 00:40:23.960 –> 00:40:29.280 Lillian Dalton: like specifically like, if a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn 499 00:40:29.700 –> 00:40:33.680 Lillian Dalton: like a student, one of my students. He was super 500 00:40:34.430 –> 00:40:36.170 Lillian Dalton: incredibly 501 00:40:36.900 –> 00:40:39.270 Lillian Dalton: just judgmental towards 502 00:40:39.916 –> 00:40:41.110 Lillian Dalton: the people 503 00:40:41.790 –> 00:40:51.196 Lillian Dalton: like his peers, and he would talk to me about that. This is when I was working in the social work field. But he would talk to me about how 504 00:40:51.890 –> 00:40:56.820 Lillian Dalton: They need to do this better, or they need to do that better, and he could have done it better 505 00:40:56.850 –> 00:41:02.710 Lillian Dalton: than they could have, and the teacher should have called on him, and just different stuff like that and 506 00:41:03.253 –> 00:41:12.340 Lillian Dalton: and getting to know him over the course of when he was on my caseload, and also getting to know his mom and his grandma. 507 00:41:14.380 –> 00:41:15.889 Lillian Dalton: I could see 508 00:41:16.020 –> 00:41:25.719 Lillian Dalton: that Mom would constantly criticize him of you could be better than that. You need to be better than that you know better than that. And then 509 00:41:26.110 –> 00:41:32.399 Lillian Dalton: grandma would do the same with Mom. So they were kind of stuck in a 510 00:41:32.710 –> 00:41:37.769 Lillian Dalton: trauma circle that I can only assume that grandma also had that growing up. 511 00:41:39.560 –> 00:41:43.420 Lillian Dalton: so children are like sponges, and 512 00:41:43.640 –> 00:41:46.489 Lillian Dalton: the way that the adults in their life 513 00:41:46.600 –> 00:41:48.479 Lillian Dalton: love them and 514 00:41:49.070 –> 00:41:56.289 Lillian Dalton: care for them, and or don't love them or don't care for them. They soak that up is as in. 515 00:41:57.200 –> 00:42:01.310 Lillian Dalton: That's how I have to be whenever I'm an adult, not always, but 516 00:42:01.560 –> 00:42:05.209 Lillian Dalton: a lot of the times they think of. That's how I have to be. 517 00:42:05.630 –> 00:42:06.849 Lillian Dalton: because that's 518 00:42:06.980 –> 00:42:12.990 Lillian Dalton: how they are. And that's how the world works best for them? Does that make sense. 519 00:42:13.360 –> 00:42:14.430 Dr. Oliver Davis: Makes a lot of sense. 520 00:42:16.030 –> 00:42:19.779 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm, child, list with critics. Thanks for sharing that. Thanks for reading it. 521 00:42:20.640 –> 00:42:24.010 Dr. Oliver Davis: If a child lives with criticism, learns to condemn. 522 00:42:24.360 –> 00:42:30.110 Dr. Oliver Davis: If you go back to some of the most critical people that you have in this, I will even say, for an adult 523 00:42:30.240 –> 00:42:32.560 Dr. Oliver Davis: lives with has lived with criticism. 524 00:42:32.590 –> 00:42:37.729 Dr. Oliver Davis: He or she is is a has learned to condemn. If you know people 525 00:42:38.424 –> 00:42:44.229 Dr. Oliver Davis: who are, they're they're very condescending. They're always criticizing people on a regular basis. 526 00:42:44.510 –> 00:42:45.690 Dr. Oliver Davis: Take time 527 00:42:46.230 –> 00:42:48.040 Dr. Oliver Davis: to hear them. 528 00:42:48.710 –> 00:42:54.769 Dr. Oliver Davis: and if you really took time to hear them, you almost could go back and quietly see their Facebooks or whatever. 529 00:42:54.860 –> 00:42:58.139 Dr. Oliver Davis: You'll probably pick up some things about them 530 00:42:59.030 –> 00:43:03.240 Dr. Oliver Davis: that they have grown up in a world full of pure criticism. 531 00:43:03.790 –> 00:43:20.509 Dr. Oliver Davis: You know. Good. You know this, you know that, or they may have attended a church service or a worship background that's been very critical, and and makes them to feel that they always live in hell and going to hell. Fire and hell's this and all of that. 532 00:43:20.660 –> 00:43:24.649 Dr. Oliver Davis: and it's amazing. By the time they get to 3rd and 4th grade. 533 00:43:24.710 –> 00:43:32.880 Dr. Oliver Davis: They're some of the most critical young people. Their bodies are just turning 10, and yet they can be. I'm just amazing. 534 00:43:32.950 –> 00:43:34.080 Dr. Oliver Davis: They're mean. 535 00:43:34.390 –> 00:43:35.520 Dr. Oliver Davis: they muming. 536 00:43:36.100 –> 00:43:40.029 Dr. Oliver Davis: I have 5th grade right in front of me. It's been amazing dealing with so much 5th graders. 537 00:43:40.460 –> 00:43:46.630 Dr. Oliver Davis: You happen to step on them, you mugging blankety, blank, blank and blank, and your daddy blanket blank. Whoa! 538 00:43:47.800 –> 00:43:53.309 Dr. Oliver Davis: To step in, and I did it by accident. Well, they should have known better than to take on my blankety blank. 539 00:43:53.560 –> 00:44:00.330 Dr. Oliver Davis: How did they at 10 years old? Not a cuss, and not only cuss, but how to play, stir, and cuss, and how to criticize so hard on somebody else. 540 00:44:02.760 –> 00:44:04.759 Dr. Oliver Davis: and then you call the parent in. 541 00:44:05.930 –> 00:44:11.549 Dr. Oliver Davis: He's why are you calling my blankly blank phone? And that's why what's going on? Okay, I got you 542 00:44:14.620 –> 00:44:34.899 Dr. Oliver Davis: I'd come up here and pick him up blankly. Blank china and call downtown on you blankly blank social worker. Okay? You said they're sponges. Yeah, they're sponges. I know why that 10 year old cousin son, is just like that makes me think our children pick up so much. Our animals pick up everything that we do. You can tell 543 00:44:36.280 –> 00:44:38.169 Dr. Oliver Davis: children live with criticism. 544 00:44:38.530 –> 00:44:42.589 Dr. Oliver Davis: live with hostility the ones who are fighting a lot, fussing a lot. 545 00:44:43.530 –> 00:44:49.890 Dr. Oliver Davis: They live in that kind of environment where there's emotional fights, physical fights, a combination of them all. 546 00:44:52.080 –> 00:44:53.540 Dr. Oliver Davis: What's your thoughts 547 00:44:57.380 –> 00:45:00.290 Dr. Oliver Davis: like the ones in the purple ones which one stands out for you. 548 00:45:01.220 –> 00:45:13.089 Dr. Oliver Davis: It could be the criticism, the hostility, the ridicule, the shame, which one, when you looked at it, read about it, popped out and see. Yeah, I can see that or not. Only the clients which ones jumped out. 549 00:45:14.450 –> 00:45:27.359 Kimberley Mattioli: Kind of all of them, but the one specifically is, if a child lives with hostility and learns to fight. I've been a foster parent, and we had an 8 year old little boy, an Inuit from Alaska. 550 00:45:27.930 –> 00:45:34.780 Kimberley Mattioli: and he'd been in foster care longer than most almost 4 years. By the time he was placed with me 551 00:45:34.840 –> 00:45:36.229 Kimberley Mattioli: and my family. 552 00:45:36.250 –> 00:45:39.790 Kimberley Mattioli: and he had been in 15 homes prior to my home. 553 00:45:40.540 –> 00:45:45.910 Kimberley Mattioli: He also was seen because he was suffering from like fetal alcohol, syndrome. 554 00:45:46.180 –> 00:45:50.080 Kimberley Mattioli: and other very serious conditions that 555 00:45:50.800 –> 00:46:04.889 Kimberley Mattioli: maybe not curable, but treatable, so that he could live a better life. But all he knew was to fight, that's all he had ever been around, and then to fight in every foster home because he didn't understand, and he had no place 556 00:46:05.760 –> 00:46:18.269 Kimberley Mattioli: to grab from, and until he got in our home, where he got the therapies they needed the support he needed. We actually started working with his family, which was severe alcoholism. 557 00:46:18.390 –> 00:46:20.729 Kimberley Mattioli: He's placed with me because I'm Cherokee. 558 00:46:20.780 –> 00:46:24.640 Kimberley Mattioli: So we had an understanding of what it meant to grow up native. 559 00:46:24.730 –> 00:46:36.599 Kimberley Mattioli: and he didn't even identify. He didn't even know what it meant. What does that mean to be native? What does it mean to be from a tribe or from Alaska? And so it's like 560 00:46:36.900 –> 00:46:52.370 Kimberley Mattioli: all he knew was hostility, and he knew it from not just to family, but to how to fight, to survive. For all the other homes he had been placed in for the piece of food he needed for clothes he needed. He was 8 when he came to us, and he was wearing size, 4 and a half, 5 clothes. 561 00:46:53.140 –> 00:46:53.830 Dr. Oliver Davis: Wow! 562 00:46:53.830 –> 00:46:58.020 Kimberley Mattioli: He didn't have anything, and he had been in foster care for 3 and a half years. 563 00:46:58.490 –> 00:46:59.070 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm! 564 00:46:59.590 –> 00:47:02.329 Dr. Oliver Davis: The painful youth I am. 565 00:47:03.320 –> 00:47:05.110 Dr. Oliver Davis: Have you seen my childhood? 566 00:47:06.620 –> 00:47:12.200 Dr. Oliver Davis: And it goes back to plus the abandonment issues. Fighting have become miscommunication. 567 00:47:13.860 –> 00:47:16.089 Dr. Oliver Davis: That's the way he communicated through his fights. 568 00:47:17.920 –> 00:47:21.360 Dr. Oliver Davis: A lot of the students that take place are their communications. 569 00:47:22.600 –> 00:47:33.299 Dr. Oliver Davis: I mean, I used to play basketball as a kid, you get in, you foul somebody, you say. Sorry. Move on next game, or whatever, or you may get a little rough, tough, and no no big deal. 570 00:47:33.490 –> 00:47:38.619 Dr. Oliver Davis: Now people just walk to their cars. Come out. You fouled me. I'm gonna shoot you like what 571 00:47:41.290 –> 00:47:47.940 Dr. Oliver Davis: you know and you think about. Why did they shoot that person. Well, they touched him, or they were looking at him wrong, or whatever. It's just like. Hmm! 572 00:47:47.970 –> 00:47:50.870 Dr. Oliver Davis: It's the way they communicate. It's a different level of communication 573 00:47:51.580 –> 00:47:58.109 Dr. Oliver Davis: and helping people to be able to express how they talk without having to do that is really interesting. 574 00:48:00.520 –> 00:48:11.090 Dr. Oliver Davis: And we live in a very hostile world I mean, once class is over, and I turn on Cnn. And Msnbc. And I turn on Fox News and all the other news. 575 00:48:11.320 –> 00:48:18.529 Dr. Oliver Davis: And here the whole thing that we are garbage or people are this, and people are that, or 576 00:48:18.770 –> 00:48:28.560 Dr. Oliver Davis: I mean, commercials are being made off of people who are going through transitions. Commercials are being made of all these different populations of it's amazing 577 00:48:28.660 –> 00:48:30.270 Dr. Oliver Davis: is mean. 578 00:48:31.600 –> 00:48:45.179 Dr. Oliver Davis: And so when we see our Presidential campaigns, our Governor campaigns, our United States Senate campaigns, our Congress campaigns, our mayors, our local down to the local level campaigns. 579 00:48:45.210 –> 00:48:52.949 Dr. Oliver Davis: I'm blasting each other. Genderism, sexism, homophobia, ism, all the isms that you can think about 580 00:48:53.240 –> 00:48:55.459 Dr. Oliver Davis: on social media in the post. 581 00:48:55.790 –> 00:49:00.150 Dr. Oliver Davis: It's mean people's like, I mean, this is, it's horrible. 582 00:49:01.400 –> 00:49:03.970 Dr. Oliver Davis: And so then, you see, children pick up that 583 00:49:06.530 –> 00:49:08.620 Dr. Oliver Davis: sure picked up that. What's your thoughts? 584 00:49:17.540 –> 00:49:21.840 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): Random thought, I'm kind of having, or maybe not so random. But it's also 585 00:49:22.200 –> 00:49:29.210 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): I'm seeing this like the word cyclical is also coming up so you know, the child that lives with hostility and learns to fight 586 00:49:29.250 –> 00:49:37.160 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): goes out and gets, you know, or is combative. And then that's what's coming back at them, too. So it's almost like their behavior is also reinforced. 587 00:49:37.350 –> 00:49:38.100 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): No. 588 00:49:38.370 –> 00:49:39.085 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): yeah, 589 00:49:39.990 –> 00:49:44.870 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): I mean, that's where my mind's at right now, and it's the same for all of them like, if you 590 00:49:44.910 –> 00:49:48.810 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): live with ridicule and you learn to be shy, and you learn to kind of 591 00:49:49.540 –> 00:49:55.309 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): bury yourself in the background. If you will, you may tend to be overlooked, and again it reinforces 592 00:49:56.020 –> 00:49:58.110 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): that behavior and that feeling. 593 00:49:59.280 –> 00:50:00.130 Dr. Oliver Davis: Shame. 594 00:50:01.880 –> 00:50:03.269 Dr. Oliver Davis: living with shame. 595 00:50:04.850 –> 00:50:11.009 Dr. Oliver Davis: My daughter was in a mixed class when I say mixed class it was 1st grade to 4th grade 596 00:50:11.390 –> 00:50:13.770 Dr. Oliver Davis: in the little school that she was. 597 00:50:13.990 –> 00:50:16.430 Dr. Oliver Davis: She was so almost 7 years old. 598 00:50:17.050 –> 00:50:23.750 Dr. Oliver Davis: and we were eating dinner that night, she said, that's enough, I said, what do you mean? That's enough. She says. I got to work work on my figure. 599 00:50:25.870 –> 00:50:27.570 Dr. Oliver Davis: I said, you gotta work on what 600 00:50:28.670 –> 00:50:30.499 Dr. Oliver Davis: I gotta work on my figure. 601 00:50:32.230 –> 00:50:39.839 Dr. Oliver Davis: I was just like I was so blown away sitting at the table, and I was like, I mean, I expect, that maybe when she was a teenager, and then it hit me. 602 00:50:39.900 –> 00:50:47.680 Dr. Oliver Davis: She was in a mixed class till he was 6, 7, 8, 19 years old, and they and the larger girls were getting teased. 603 00:50:48.540 –> 00:50:50.660 Dr. Oliver Davis: and she did not want to be one of them. 604 00:50:52.380 –> 00:50:55.840 Dr. Oliver Davis: so she stopped, even though I could tell she was really enjoyed it 605 00:50:56.620 –> 00:50:58.520 Dr. Oliver Davis: because they were getting teased. 606 00:51:00.010 –> 00:51:01.300 Dr. Oliver Davis: And I said, Wow. 607 00:51:01.700 –> 00:51:03.409 Dr. Oliver Davis: that's not something that 608 00:51:03.660 –> 00:51:06.130 Dr. Oliver Davis: it's just for older people. 609 00:51:06.330 –> 00:51:11.190 Dr. Oliver Davis: Younger people are dealing with, that the bully reports I have to write up being teased 610 00:51:11.220 –> 00:51:12.240 Dr. Oliver Davis: size 611 00:51:12.370 –> 00:51:19.660 Dr. Oliver Davis: for me. I remember when Vanessa Williams won in 1984 1st African American to ever win Miss America. 612 00:51:20.480 –> 00:51:23.420 Dr. Oliver Davis: and that was interesting because she was light, scared 613 00:51:23.520 –> 00:51:25.599 Dr. Oliver Davis: people who are my complexion don't win. 614 00:51:25.900 –> 00:51:30.189 Dr. Oliver Davis: That is not, I mean, that's just gonna happen to my sister's where my mother was in the South. 615 00:51:30.320 –> 00:51:31.870 Dr. Oliver Davis: It's amazing 616 00:51:32.030 –> 00:51:33.610 Dr. Oliver Davis: how many people 617 00:51:34.040 –> 00:51:35.859 Dr. Oliver Davis: felt uncomfortable. 618 00:51:36.140 –> 00:51:41.369 Dr. Oliver Davis: I've done a lot of therapy. How how many men and women felt uncomfortable 619 00:51:41.650 –> 00:51:45.059 Dr. Oliver Davis: having any kind of lights on during their intimate times. 620 00:51:45.460 –> 00:51:47.750 Dr. Oliver Davis: because they felt embarrassed about themselves. 621 00:51:48.710 –> 00:51:49.800 Dr. Oliver Davis: There looks 622 00:51:49.820 –> 00:52:16.659 Dr. Oliver Davis: and a lot of that came from their younger years. You're ugly, you're stupid, and even though a wife or a husband or a partner told them that they were pretty, and they loved the way they look. Are you just saying that you just saying that I don't even know why you're loving me. You could probably find any other woman, or you could find any other man. And all this stuff happening. You know you just you just probably picked me because I was the last one, and you had nobody else. I'm sure you're looking at her. Why are you looking at her all the time? 623 00:52:16.790 –> 00:52:22.959 Dr. Oliver Davis: And a lot of that argument? It creates that because when they were in those early years. 624 00:52:23.310 –> 00:52:29.299 Dr. Oliver Davis: they were teased about being too skinny, too dark, too light, too white, too black, too this, too, that 625 00:52:29.310 –> 00:52:32.440 Dr. Oliver Davis: eyes, this 4 eyes, bubble lips, all the stuff 626 00:52:32.550 –> 00:52:38.579 Dr. Oliver Davis: I could remember. I could write down all the stuff that I was caught between K. Through 5th grade, and there's some vicious stuff. 627 00:52:39.740 –> 00:52:43.439 Dr. Oliver Davis: and here I am, 56 years old, and I still have to deal with that mess 628 00:52:43.660 –> 00:52:44.889 Dr. Oliver Davis: in my mind. 629 00:52:47.630 –> 00:52:48.819 Dr. Oliver Davis: What's your thoughts? 630 00:52:50.210 –> 00:52:51.110 Dr. Oliver Davis: Shame. 631 00:52:52.780 –> 00:52:54.860 Amanda Redfern (she/they)- Triangle Community Center, Norwalk CT: I just think about how like. 632 00:52:55.220 –> 00:53:00.580 Amanda Redfern (she/they)- Triangle Community Center, Norwalk CT: when I was an adolescent in like the early 2 thousands, and 633 00:53:01.380 –> 00:53:09.199 Amanda Redfern (she/they)- Triangle Community Center, Norwalk CT: the fashion trends at the time, like the low rise jeans and like the crop tops, and like all the stuff. And now it's coming back. 634 00:53:09.960 –> 00:53:17.130 Amanda Redfern (she/they)- Triangle Community Center, Norwalk CT: and I've got friends who will be like I could never wear low rise jeans, and when I see that stuff I'm just triggered by all of the 635 00:53:17.563 –> 00:53:26.959 Amanda Redfern (she/they)- Triangle Community Center, Norwalk CT: societal, and like my peer, the peer pressure that, like, you know, if you ate anything you were fat and you were not valued. And and like these are people like get like this is like. 636 00:53:27.170 –> 00:53:34.090 Amanda Redfern (she/they)- Triangle Community Center, Norwalk CT: but 20 years later, people who are still just like I can't I can't, you know, and I think it's just. 637 00:53:34.970 –> 00:53:40.980 Amanda Redfern (she/they)- Triangle Community Center, Norwalk CT: you know, speaks to that kind of point that that shame really is like sinks in there really early, and it stays with you. 638 00:53:41.520 –> 00:53:42.729 Dr. Oliver Davis: It stays with you. 639 00:53:43.150 –> 00:53:46.880 Dr. Oliver Davis: It's a struggle, it's a fate, it's a something that you have to deal with. 640 00:53:47.820 –> 00:53:49.030 Dr. Oliver Davis: and so 641 00:53:49.610 –> 00:53:51.080 Dr. Oliver Davis: hmm! Shame! 642 00:53:51.140 –> 00:53:54.690 Dr. Oliver Davis: Ridicule! Persons live with tolerance and learn to be patient. 643 00:53:54.790 –> 00:54:07.170 Dr. Oliver Davis: You grow up in a house, and they talk about freedoms, they talk about people who they allow different backgrounds, different issues. You see the children coming out of those kind of backgrounds a lot more patient. 644 00:54:07.830 –> 00:54:18.573 Dr. Oliver Davis: This generation has grown up with seeing more TV issues, or don't even call it TV, or whatever flat screen stuff I could tell what generation I grew when I used to wear TV. But 645 00:54:19.530 –> 00:54:21.820 Dr. Oliver Davis: they have learned to see more 646 00:54:23.020 –> 00:54:31.089 Dr. Oliver Davis: members of the Lgbtq plus communities on TV shows and other issues. And so they have learned to be a lot more patient 647 00:54:31.380 –> 00:54:33.100 Dr. Oliver Davis: versus my generation. 648 00:54:33.753 –> 00:54:38.089 Dr. Oliver Davis: It's very common now. They have Thursday night football to see black quarterbacks 649 00:54:38.110 –> 00:54:43.579 Dr. Oliver Davis: when I can almost name the ones that we're going through. When I was a kid in the seventies. Eighties. It's normal. Now 650 00:54:44.790 –> 00:54:51.359 Dr. Oliver Davis: I've seen the 1st African American male president. We've seen the second woman run for President. Now. 651 00:54:51.570 –> 00:54:56.459 Dr. Oliver Davis: was she when was she not? I don't know. But this one day will be normal. 652 00:54:56.610 –> 00:55:03.029 Dr. Oliver Davis: Instead of saying, Is she strong enough if she can she handle this all the questions she's been asking. 653 00:55:03.050 –> 00:55:07.769 Dr. Oliver Davis: You know, whether she, Democrat Republican or not. My issue. It's just the fact that it's still new. 654 00:55:08.600 –> 00:55:10.580 Dr. Oliver Davis: because we are not used to that. 655 00:55:10.680 –> 00:55:17.690 Dr. Oliver Davis: but people who are teaching their children at a younger level how to embrace it. It helps them to be able to deal with change. 656 00:55:18.610 –> 00:55:20.300 Dr. Oliver Davis: child, live with encouragement. 657 00:55:21.190 –> 00:55:22.260 Dr. Oliver Davis: confidence. 658 00:55:22.960 –> 00:55:26.750 Dr. Oliver Davis: Okay, yeah. Okay. You gotta see on that one. But you know you can do better. 659 00:55:26.840 –> 00:55:35.219 Dr. Oliver Davis: You gotta see, last week was report card Day. You can hear all the parents coming there. How dare you got this? You hear him screaming in the hallway when I was there? It was interesting. 660 00:55:35.260 –> 00:55:38.569 Dr. Oliver Davis: and all the screaming in the hallway was already teaching them 661 00:55:38.860 –> 00:55:40.250 Dr. Oliver Davis: about themselves. 662 00:55:41.000 –> 00:55:43.020 Dr. Oliver Davis: The confidence of the failures 663 00:55:43.610 –> 00:55:45.119 Dr. Oliver Davis: live with praise 664 00:55:46.130 –> 00:55:47.480 Dr. Oliver Davis: to appreciate. 665 00:55:48.340 –> 00:55:56.130 Dr. Oliver Davis: Sometimes too much praise could also. How do they deal with conflict is kind of interesting, almost could flip the other side, too. But at the same time it's cool 666 00:55:56.220 –> 00:56:03.489 Dr. Oliver Davis: fairness, justice, security, faith, approval of the green section here which one stands out for you. 667 00:56:05.750 –> 00:56:08.289 Dr. Oliver Davis: You saw the purple ones, but the green ones. 668 00:56:13.820 –> 00:56:38.399 Katie Moncelsi: It made me think of a video I saw once that was put out by the National Down Syndrome Association, where the whole video was. The was about how the assumptions you put on others is what they become, and that if you assume people will be one way, you're causing that causing the negatives, but that if you assume, then the positive set setting, then 669 00:56:38.980 –> 00:56:42.179 Katie Moncelsi: they'll have the confidence like this says, and everything. 670 00:56:42.400 –> 00:56:45.739 Katie Moncelsi: It just this whole poem made me think of that video. 671 00:56:46.440 –> 00:56:50.129 Dr. Oliver Davis: And a part of that is the reason why that is 672 00:56:50.370 –> 00:56:54.449 Dr. Oliver Davis: oh, well, I'm already moved. My thing that goes back to the camera. 673 00:56:54.870 –> 00:57:00.900 Dr. Oliver Davis: because the original lens that we focus on our original focus 674 00:57:01.120 –> 00:57:03.537 Dr. Oliver Davis: is set by our org, our 675 00:57:04.050 –> 00:57:04.730 Dr. Oliver Davis: fact. 676 00:57:05.110 –> 00:57:06.490 Dr. Oliver Davis: family of origin. 677 00:57:08.020 –> 00:57:11.210 Dr. Oliver Davis: They are set to live with praise. 678 00:57:11.330 –> 00:57:13.579 Dr. Oliver Davis: Did you see praising others real quick? 679 00:57:16.210 –> 00:57:24.769 Dr. Oliver Davis: If your family sets your camera to go with hostility, you pick it up, and that cycle of fit that was just shared a few minutes ago comes out. 680 00:57:26.830 –> 00:57:36.929 Dr. Oliver Davis: Then the challenges is this, but before I go to my thing I got a thought that comes up. But what else? What else did I thank you for sharing? What else stands out with you in the green section. 681 00:57:42.460 –> 00:57:49.189 Derek Howell: for me. The the one that says the child that lives with encouragement learns confidence. 682 00:57:49.980 –> 00:57:51.719 Derek Howell: And I can just think back to like 683 00:57:52.550 –> 00:57:54.860 Derek Howell: my peer group growing up. 684 00:57:55.030 –> 00:58:00.960 Derek Howell: And you know, it was kind of like separated out, and some of us were encouraged to 685 00:58:01.240 –> 00:58:07.567 Derek Howell: do well in academics, and some of us were encouraged to do well in in athletics and 686 00:58:08.890 –> 00:58:15.749 Derek Howell: and then and then that's what became of those people later and and so, and I also think back to like 687 00:58:16.375 –> 00:58:18.990 Derek Howell: there was also encouragement to fight 688 00:58:19.330 –> 00:58:29.670 Derek Howell: right to like get in aggressive fist fights with each other. And so you know, people who were encouraged to do that learned confidence in 689 00:58:30.010 –> 00:58:36.719 Derek Howell: those aggressive behaviors. So I kind of see the the mix of that there, too. So. 690 00:58:37.260 –> 00:58:38.460 Dr. Oliver Davis: I appreciate that 691 00:58:38.600 –> 00:58:44.109 Dr. Oliver Davis: because of the fact that it's not only the question breaks this down to 692 00:58:44.290 –> 00:58:46.229 Dr. Oliver Davis: what are they being encouraged to do? 693 00:58:47.590 –> 00:58:56.349 Dr. Oliver Davis: And they may be encouraged to do some that goes back to your values and other cardiac actions. They may be encouraged to do some 694 00:58:56.520 –> 00:59:02.450 Dr. Oliver Davis: deviant or what some people may consider deviant behavior, and that's how they learn their confidence 695 00:59:03.160 –> 00:59:08.369 Dr. Oliver Davis: and then teaching somebody who's in 5th grade 696 00:59:08.380 –> 00:59:15.950 Dr. Oliver Davis: their confidence. They know that they know how to play the what they call the judges of the dozens, or whatever. They're very confident at it. 697 00:59:16.490 –> 00:59:26.059 Dr. Oliver Davis: Because your mama, this, your daddy, this your mama. They know that within a matter of about 3 min they're going to have this other 5th grader crying. They're very confident at that. They know they were. 698 00:59:26.200 –> 00:59:36.159 Dr. Oliver Davis: and I've had that happen because I had 5th grade was in one building and they got switched into our building where I'm in 5th grade. They were in a building just a few weeks ago, where they were 1st through 5, th 699 00:59:36.170 –> 00:59:53.299 Dr. Oliver Davis: and now they got switched to a building when they are now 5, th through 8 within our school system, which was a mess, they should have done that. But anyway they did. And so now the 5th grader, who was good at playing the Joneses on 5th grade to 1st grade is now having to do that with 5th grade through 8th grade and is losing the battles. 700 00:59:53.490 –> 00:59:58.569 Dr. Oliver Davis: They're not as confident anymore and having to figure out another way to communicate. It's been a mess. 701 00:59:59.110 –> 01:00:02.310 Dr. Oliver Davis: So it depends on what they've been encouraged to do. But I see. 702 01:00:03.090 –> 01:00:04.170 Dr. Oliver Davis: So 703 01:00:04.670 –> 01:00:07.930 Dr. Oliver Davis: finding out what they've been encouraged to do is also important. 704 01:00:09.520 –> 01:00:13.040 Dr. Oliver Davis: because sometimes it's been good, and sometimes it hasn't been good 705 01:00:14.510 –> 01:00:19.369 Dr. Oliver Davis: finding out what they consider fairness and what they consider it's amazing. 706 01:00:20.860 –> 01:00:24.329 Dr. Oliver Davis: What I used to think was fair is not necessarily fair. 707 01:00:26.100 –> 01:00:39.839 Dr. Oliver Davis: and that was based on the fact of my religious background based on the fact of a few other backgrounds. I mean, you go into some religious places in schools on Sunday school or Saturday school, and people will teach that if you don't go to this particular church you're going to hell's fire. 708 01:00:39.860 –> 01:00:42.490 Dr. Oliver Davis: or you don't live a certain way. You go into hell's fire. 709 01:00:45.690 –> 01:01:02.490 Dr. Oliver Davis: So somebody something happens to somebody. Well, you know, they're going to hell anyway. So you you learn you have to be careful. How does your culture, your religious background, your political background of a neighborhood of a community help you to dehumanize other people. 710 01:01:02.490 –> 01:01:23.890 Dr. Oliver Davis: I was listening to a presentation today. Does somebody's rhetoric, whether it's religious, whether it's political, whether it's the environmental, help them to dehumanize somebody. So if that something happens to that person, that person dies, something bad happens. Well, I don't know why you worry about her. You know she already have 5 babies. No, you know. In other words, why are we worried about her. She's not a human. She had 5 babies. What would he do. 711 01:01:24.620 –> 01:01:30.919 Dr. Oliver Davis: I mean, why are we worried about them? I mean, I heard he left his wife and came out of closet anyway. Why are we worried about him? 712 01:01:31.930 –> 01:01:37.799 Dr. Oliver Davis: In other words, they're thinking has dehumanized that person. So something bad happens to them. Whoopity do 713 01:01:40.720 –> 01:01:46.109 Dr. Oliver Davis: something bad happens to them. Well, they're a Democrat. Something bad happened. They're Republican, but they like trump. Anyway. 714 01:01:46.170 –> 01:01:47.539 Dr. Oliver Davis: I'm happy, you know. 715 01:01:49.100 –> 01:01:57.109 Dr. Oliver Davis: Have has that rhetoric made it so bad that we can watch another group of people, another culture die. 716 01:01:58.070 –> 01:02:01.519 Dr. Oliver Davis: Oh, 25 people from Hamas, that well, they're Hamas. We don't care. 717 01:02:02.160 –> 01:02:07.370 Dr. Oliver Davis: 25 people from Palestine died. Oh, we care about that, or we don't care about that. 25 people from Israel died. 718 01:02:07.390 –> 01:02:11.259 Dr. Oliver Davis: or 25 blacks were killed in the HUD that we cared that we care? 25 whites were killed. 719 01:02:11.530 –> 01:02:15.759 Dr. Oliver Davis: Does the concept around us make us not care or care? 720 01:02:19.900 –> 01:02:21.700 Dr. Oliver Davis: All that comes from my childhood. 721 01:02:24.650 –> 01:02:25.440 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm! 722 01:02:26.040 –> 01:02:27.169 Dr. Oliver Davis: What's your thoughts 723 01:02:27.730 –> 01:02:29.230 Dr. Oliver Davis: before we go to our last one? 724 01:02:36.830 –> 01:02:39.349 Dr. Oliver Davis: See your faces for a few minutes, and not go to the last one. 725 01:02:39.900 –> 01:02:40.700 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm! 726 01:02:47.740 –> 01:02:50.340 Dr. Oliver Davis: What did I show you so far in this presentation? 727 01:02:55.661 –> 01:03:13.949 Jalesia’s : Excuse my background. I'm sorry. With the background noise. I really wanted to follow what Derek said. They really resonated with me especially things that I see with my my son in a conversation that we had to have last night with praising him for not hitting someone back when 728 01:03:14.371 –> 01:03:22.820 Jalesia’s : he was here, but also what I didn't see on the other side of that is, not reinforcing him, not standing up for himself at the same time. 729 01:03:22.850 –> 01:03:25.939 Jalesia’s : So making sure that we encourage. 730 01:03:25.980 –> 01:03:27.839 Jalesia’s : does that make sense what I'm trying to say. 731 01:03:28.030 –> 01:03:29.699 Dr. Oliver Davis: I'm listening to making sense. 732 01:03:30.077 –> 01:03:50.849 Jalesia’s : No. But yeah, that what Darry said is really resonated, and it just really brought me back to the conversation yesterday of knowing how to balance both sides of teaching. Okay, no, we don't hit that. But in certain circumstances you need to know how to protect yourself and how to defend yourself if necessary. 733 01:03:51.400 –> 01:03:57.809 Dr. Oliver Davis: Well, I agree with that. I tell the kids at school, I said, now they said, my mama taught me to fight back. I said, okay. 734 01:03:57.920 –> 01:04:00.070 Dr. Oliver Davis: I said, I have nothing wrong with what mama said. 735 01:04:00.180 –> 01:04:04.190 Dr. Oliver Davis: I said, now, while you're here at school is our job to help you fight back. 736 01:04:04.300 –> 01:04:05.350 Dr. Oliver Davis: It's my job. 737 01:04:06.300 –> 01:04:23.059 Dr. Oliver Davis: I said. You need to tell your teacher I'm the social worker. Tell the principal, I said. You know I give them some things I said, now let me tell you all this. You got there in that park out there, and the school's not out, and the school's out, and somebody does that either you go up to run as fast as you can, or you got to fight. 738 01:04:24.020 –> 01:04:30.529 Dr. Oliver Davis: Now. You should be out there with somebody to look out for you, anyway, but sometimes you may have to stand up and fight. Okay, all right, Mr. Davis. 739 01:04:32.120 –> 01:04:33.680 Dr. Oliver Davis: I make it real for them. 740 01:04:35.220 –> 01:04:36.969 Dr. Oliver Davis: So that may be the case. 741 01:04:39.670 –> 01:04:44.459 Dr. Oliver Davis: I mean, sometimes I had to stand up. Sometimes I call my big sister boy. She could fight. She was pretty good. 742 01:04:44.570 –> 01:04:47.130 Dr. Oliver Davis: and so everybody knew it, too. 743 01:04:47.270 –> 01:04:50.630 Dr. Oliver Davis: I'm gonna call my brother. I'm calling my sisters. Y'all don't want her. 744 01:04:51.740 –> 01:04:53.120 Dr. Oliver Davis: you know. 745 01:04:53.240 –> 01:04:57.280 Dr. Oliver Davis: and other times I could tell the teacher so, teaching them to be realistic with that 746 01:04:58.730 –> 01:05:00.019 Dr. Oliver Davis: in their childhood 747 01:05:00.280 –> 01:05:04.409 Dr. Oliver Davis: helps them to be realistic people as as adults, as teachers. 748 01:05:08.630 –> 01:05:09.519 Dr. Oliver Davis: What else 749 01:05:10.780 –> 01:05:11.780 Dr. Oliver Davis: as you? 750 01:05:15.050 –> 01:05:16.640 Dr. Oliver Davis: That's what stood out for you, Sammy. 751 01:05:18.880 –> 01:05:39.920 Leah Tucker: I think the concept of the camera and the picture especially working in a school a lot of the times. The staff don't understand a full picture, and even with the extensive amount of information as a mental health clinician that I have on the background of these kids, I still don't have a full picture, and so. 752 01:05:40.000 –> 01:05:52.520 Leah Tucker: you know, using that trauma informed care, and being mindful of all of these things that contribute to these kids, behaviors and experiences, emotions, and everything, I think, is super important. 753 01:05:53.330 –> 01:05:57.929 Dr. Oliver Davis: My principal did something several years ago which I really need to encourage him to do this year. 754 01:05:59.670 –> 01:06:04.630 Dr. Oliver Davis: On one of our days, where we didn't have any students at the school, because we had an e-learning day. 755 01:06:05.060 –> 01:06:08.120 Dr. Oliver Davis: We all went and got on a school bus. 756 01:06:08.300 –> 01:06:10.200 Dr. Oliver Davis: The whole staff got on the same bus. 757 01:06:10.980 –> 01:06:14.290 Dr. Oliver Davis: and he had me plot the route. 758 01:06:14.410 –> 01:06:16.259 Dr. Oliver Davis: and we took the bus 759 01:06:16.680 –> 01:06:19.260 Dr. Oliver Davis: around the neighborhoods where our kids lived. 760 01:06:21.610 –> 01:06:24.839 Dr. Oliver Davis: It was a eye-opening experience for a lot of people 761 01:06:25.730 –> 01:06:27.340 Dr. Oliver Davis: in my school. 762 01:06:27.690 –> 01:06:30.300 Dr. Oliver Davis: We have some of the wealthiest neighborhoods 763 01:06:30.940 –> 01:06:32.759 Dr. Oliver Davis: in the city of South Bend 764 01:06:33.060 –> 01:06:34.240 Dr. Oliver Davis: in the district. 765 01:06:35.180 –> 01:06:36.600 Dr. Oliver Davis: and also 766 01:06:37.100 –> 01:06:39.419 Dr. Oliver Davis: in the same area. 767 01:06:39.480 –> 01:06:41.210 Dr. Oliver Davis: We have some of the poorest. 768 01:06:44.450 –> 01:06:46.889 Dr. Oliver Davis: And when we went to certain places we're like, 769 01:06:47.600 –> 01:06:52.120 Dr. Oliver Davis: You could see it in their faces, their reactions, and hear it in their voices. 770 01:06:52.230 –> 01:07:03.449 Dr. Oliver Davis: These same kids are coming from different areas. The bus is picking them all around, and many of them didn't even live. Don't even live in our city. They drive in from other spots, and they work and get in their car and go home. 771 01:07:05.720 –> 01:07:11.180 Dr. Oliver Davis: But this was the 1st day that several of them got a chance to see where many of our students were living. 772 01:07:12.180 –> 01:07:15.279 Dr. Oliver Davis: and my goal and his goal was to help widen their camera. 773 01:07:16.600 –> 01:07:32.940 Dr. Oliver Davis: to just give a little better understanding of what it's like to walk. And this is where our bus route ends, and everybody who lives from here have to walk. They got to walk in rain, snow, ice, everything else they walk. If you live from this house over, you have to walk from there over, and it's not close. 774 01:07:36.400 –> 01:07:42.920 Dr. Oliver Davis: or why those parents have a harder time coming to the Parent Teachers Conference because of that kind of situation. 775 01:07:43.930 –> 01:07:46.979 Dr. Oliver Davis: Makes you understand life a little bit better. What's your thoughts? 776 01:07:47.950 –> 01:07:49.700 Dr. Oliver Davis: That's what you're talking about, Miss Tucker. 777 01:07:52.720 –> 01:07:55.280 Dr. Oliver Davis: What y'all think about what Mr. Tucker just said? 778 01:07:58.800 –> 01:08:00.919 Dr. Oliver Davis: Wider your thoughts so wide in your camera. 779 01:08:05.650 –> 01:08:08.909 Kimberley Mattioli: I agree with what she says in terms of 780 01:08:09.080 –> 01:08:28.909 Kimberley Mattioli: of that balance, you know, making your choices to, you know, encourage and support your children while still fail, and take care of yourself. I have a young lady that comes to me quite often that in a very similar situation some of the houses right around the school are pretty nice 781 01:08:29.170 –> 01:08:58.189 Kimberley Mattioli: as you stack out from the school I'm at. It gets a little rougher, and her only thing is, I just want to feel normal, like the other kids that were normal. I don't have nice things. I have to rotate in a 1 bedroom apartment with Mom and Mom's living boyfriend between the bed and the couch. Now, this is a girl who is a big girl. She's probably 285 pounds in the 7th grade, probably 6 foot. She's a big girl. 782 01:08:58.490 –> 01:08:59.420 Kimberley Mattioli: and 783 01:08:59.609 –> 01:09:03.530 Kimberley Mattioli: I asked her, what could I do? That would help her feel 784 01:09:04.620 –> 01:09:25.169 Kimberley Mattioli: some of that normalcy because she's on like a point sheet with me. We have to check in. Otherwise I get her. She gets lost around the school, and so I surprised her with a little thing lip gloss, and that felt like the most normal thing to her compared to every other kid, because it was something she didn't have at that moment, and not something she'd ever had 785 01:09:25.593 –> 01:09:33.270 Kimberley Mattioli: because her whole life has been bounced between family members because of incarceration. And so she's really doesn't have any. 786 01:09:35.229 –> 01:09:35.849 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hmm! 787 01:09:37.229 –> 01:09:38.229 Dr. Oliver Davis: How many of my family. 788 01:09:38.229 –> 01:09:43.709 Brady Cox: Go to work. Come on here, Jean, come on. You want to go see Halo when she come home. 789 01:09:43.759 –> 01:09:46.231 Brady Cox: Come on this one. 790 01:09:47.080 –> 01:09:47.879 Derek Howell: I think 791 01:09:51.059 –> 01:09:52.209 Brady Cox: Come on here, Jane. 792 01:09:55.260 –> 01:10:04.329 Derek Howell: Yeah, I think. So one of the things I think really resonated with me about what Miss Tucker said was the idea of focus. 793 01:10:04.460 –> 01:10:07.118 Derek Howell: And so it made me kind of think of the the 794 01:10:07.520 –> 01:10:14.140 Derek Howell: about the the camera itself, and how you may, in order to see 795 01:10:14.270 –> 01:10:22.899 Derek Howell: an image better change the lens in which you look at your look at things, and so you might have to adjust things so that 796 01:10:23.000 –> 01:10:35.970 Derek Howell: the picture comes up clear, and and it kind of brought back the idea of like you and the school bus of like, okay, so we have these teachers who have this one view of these kids. Let's take them, and we'll change 797 01:10:36.160 –> 01:10:43.869 Derek Howell: the focus and will change the lens in which they look at at the children. And so they get this different 798 01:10:44.050 –> 01:10:46.870 Derek Howell: understanding of like who 799 01:10:47.380 –> 01:11:02.120 Derek Howell: who they actually are working at with, you know. And so and I think that can be carried on to wherever you know whether it's in our discipline or any discipline but that you know. In order to better help someone, you kind of have to look at them from 800 01:11:03.030 –> 01:11:05.070 Derek Howell: different perspectives. 801 01:11:05.440 –> 01:11:08.196 Derek Howell: That makes sense. Am I just rambling. 802 01:11:10.965 –> 01:11:11.440 Dr. Oliver Davis: Hambly. 803 01:11:11.940 –> 01:11:17.450 Dr. Oliver Davis: And I want you. I mean your comments tonight. And things are really on target because it goes back to which 804 01:11:17.480 –> 01:11:19.689 Dr. Oliver Davis: let me go back to one more thing 805 01:11:19.920 –> 01:11:22.010 Dr. Oliver Davis: right here, using this. 806 01:11:23.361 –> 01:11:28.130 Dr. Oliver Davis: I talked about how Michael Jackson things affected him. I moved on from that. But this is what you. 807 01:11:28.170 –> 01:11:29.209 Dr. Oliver Davis: He looked up 808 01:11:30.560 –> 01:11:32.359 Dr. Oliver Davis: talking about aces. 809 01:11:33.220 –> 01:11:37.199 Dr. Oliver Davis: Your chapter talked about that adverse childhood experiences 810 01:11:37.620 –> 01:11:40.210 Dr. Oliver Davis: about adverse childhood experiences. Really 811 01:11:40.260 –> 01:11:42.349 Dr. Oliver Davis: the whole song of childhood 812 01:11:42.920 –> 01:11:43.930 Dr. Oliver Davis: to me. 813 01:11:45.960 –> 01:11:48.940 Dr. Oliver Davis: helps to explain aces. 814 01:11:49.480 –> 01:11:59.609 Dr. Oliver Davis: Adverse child experience can have long-term negative impacts or long term positive effects. Adverse childhood experiences are common, and some groups experience them more than others. 815 01:11:59.880 –> 01:12:03.459 Dr. Oliver Davis: and they did this, and it helps you to look at that and study 816 01:12:04.033 –> 01:12:06.200 Dr. Oliver Davis: the outcomes. You'll see it 817 01:12:06.390 –> 01:12:09.599 Dr. Oliver Davis: you you probably I've been to several workshops on aces. 818 01:12:10.010 –> 01:12:11.690 Dr. Oliver Davis: and we'll I'll put that. 819 01:12:12.230 –> 01:12:16.570 Dr. Oliver Davis: But it helps us to look at the issues that children have gone through. 820 01:12:16.730 –> 01:12:24.699 Dr. Oliver Davis: and how many of them have gone through, it says, associated with their health, such as living under or under, under resourced 821 01:12:25.130 –> 01:12:28.740 Dr. Oliver Davis: or racially segregated neighborhoods can cause toxic stress. 822 01:12:31.220 –> 01:12:35.459 Dr. Oliver Davis: and then I'm gonna tell you this. It's a very interesting 823 01:12:35.510 –> 01:12:36.630 Dr. Oliver Davis: concept 824 01:12:36.900 –> 01:12:38.180 Dr. Oliver Davis: sometimes. 825 01:12:41.310 –> 01:12:44.710 Dr. Oliver Davis: there I I am for integration. 826 01:12:45.170 –> 01:12:50.659 Dr. Oliver Davis: But another person shared with me this older guy, he said he was for desegregation, not integration. 827 01:12:51.010 –> 01:13:06.239 Dr. Oliver Davis: and that was, if people want to live in a white neighborhood, they can live in white neighborhood. If people want to live in black neighborhood. They can live in black neighborhood. But what happened with integration? They shut down a cut, closed down many of the black schools, and they integrated them with the white schools. The black principals became the white teachers. 828 01:13:06.750 –> 01:13:16.469 Dr. Oliver Davis: and so in many of your urban black neighborhoods the shops went out, the malls went out, the barbers went out. And now in most cities you have very few 829 01:13:16.710 –> 01:13:31.680 Dr. Oliver Davis: black. Well, we still have the funeral homes and still have that. But most of hair care products are by a different race, or the things, and it really wiped out black or African American businesses by integration. Does that mean that I'm for segregation? By no means. 830 01:13:31.680 –> 01:13:53.910 Dr. Oliver Davis: But in the interplay of all of that a lot of things got wiped out? And so, while they say that racially segregated areas, the word segregated is the issue of where people are not allowed to live. But what has happened is some of the integration when people move into a predominantly white neighborhood that they don't see anybody like themselves. Then that leads to another problem. 831 01:13:54.200 –> 01:14:04.070 Dr. Oliver Davis: because in my school it's predominantly African, American and Hispanic. So when a white person is being picked on, they're truly being picked on even more so over there because they are minority in my school. 832 01:14:04.530 –> 01:14:25.260 Dr. Oliver Davis: And so it's very interesting. They have to be aware of that, because when they gangs up on it really is, and other times you will see where the African American is. The minority, and other times is Hispanic, or whatever your group of population are that makes up your school. And so each one of these things when you are living with people outside of your group that 833 01:14:25.889 –> 01:14:38.039 Dr. Oliver Davis: it's also interesting from those standpoint. Sometimes people feel safer living within their groups like was already stated. But those are some kind of the issues that attack historical groups, social groups. 834 01:14:38.480 –> 01:14:54.680 Dr. Oliver Davis: When you live around, everybody in your family is republican. Everybody in your family is independent. Everybody family is Baptist or Catholic, and everything else. And then you come home, and you're bringing home a woman who's Church of God in Christ, or you bring somebody who goes to church in different day. The shunning that goes on in families is amazing. 835 01:14:54.940 –> 01:14:59.999 Dr. Oliver Davis: So all that comes out of our childhood experiences so 0 to 17 years of age. 836 01:15:01.050 –> 01:15:02.020 Dr. Oliver Davis: So 837 01:15:02.280 –> 01:15:08.280 Dr. Oliver Davis: it's good to understand the whole aces issues and see how many things that people have experienced when they're younger. 838 01:15:08.960 –> 01:15:10.130 Dr. Oliver Davis: and 839 01:15:10.140 –> 01:15:13.320 Dr. Oliver Davis: some of those things are positive. Some of those things are challenging. 840 01:15:14.370 –> 01:15:27.399 Dr. Oliver Davis: And I'll tell you this, I grew up in a middle class, 2 parents house with people who are doctorates and college professors, and sounds wonderful sounds interesting, but that my background can also mess me up. 841 01:15:29.800 –> 01:15:36.979 Dr. Oliver Davis: Because how do then do I look at a family whose mom has 5, 6, 7 kids has Mom's finished 9th grade. 842 01:15:38.040 –> 01:15:41.270 Dr. Oliver Davis: If that has 5 kids by 5 different people. 843 01:15:42.760 –> 01:15:45.700 Dr. Oliver Davis: Sometimes it's not the camera, sometimes it's the photographer. 844 01:15:48.990 –> 01:15:57.159 Dr. Oliver Davis: sometimes the photographer. My, what my training is great. But my view of my training is is the problem where my biases are coming in. 845 01:15:57.730 –> 01:16:03.151 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): I'm so glad we got there. It was like something that I wrote down because the line that I liked was 846 01:16:03.810 –> 01:16:06.300 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): being taught approval to like oneself. 847 01:16:06.490 –> 01:16:17.949 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): And then, like I was connecting that to just this whole metaphor with the camera, like I wrote down, I was like, Who's holding the camera, though, and like, what lens are they like? How are they reading the footage, all of that matters? And like. 848 01:16:18.550 –> 01:16:30.559 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): that's us as the social worker like, how are we learning to read the imagery that is being captured as we look through that camera? And then also the responsibility on us to model 849 01:16:30.790 –> 01:16:35.539 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): the behavior and how we do that when we navigate the world and when we do our work. 850 01:16:35.990 –> 01:16:38.640 Dr. Oliver Davis: I had to learn to appreciate the fact that 851 01:16:39.260 –> 01:16:42.020 Dr. Oliver Davis: boyfriend many times was the father. 852 01:16:43.240 –> 01:16:54.990 Dr. Oliver Davis: And that's okay. Because my 1st thing is, why is boyfriend showing up in the meeting? Because I grew up in the house where dad and my boyfriend is just as important in this house, and it may be a multiple boyfriends that show up. 853 01:16:55.230 –> 01:16:58.549 Dr. Oliver Davis: Or maybe multiple people that show up. A grandmother shows up. 854 01:16:58.990 –> 01:17:04.699 Dr. Oliver Davis: What is my bias about kids being raised by grandparents or being raised. But looking at all these other things come up. 855 01:17:06.170 –> 01:17:08.269 Dr. Oliver Davis: and so how 856 01:17:08.460 –> 01:17:14.059 Dr. Oliver Davis: the way the cameras being held by me had to adjust. I had to learn different things. 857 01:17:15.860 –> 01:17:17.110 Dr. Oliver Davis: because 858 01:17:17.260 –> 01:17:39.020 Dr. Oliver Davis: sometimes, having a middle class upper class background can help you, and then other times it hurts you, or then having a coming from a quote unquote lower socioeconomic class. And now you're working with kids who are in the suburb. You're like, why, they complain. Why, pain do they have? I mean, they got nice car. They got a nice house. They got all this stuff they got. They can go here. They can go here. Why are they coming in to make complaint? 859 01:17:39.380 –> 01:17:54.440 Dr. Oliver Davis: So sometimes, when you grow up in a more impoverished situation, you don't want, you cannot hear the pain of somebody who's coming from more of a wealthy background. And then sometimes you grew up in a wealthy background. You cannot hear the pain of somebody's coming in a low, a low socioeconomic background. 860 01:17:56.450 –> 01:17:58.609 Dr. Oliver Davis: And so in my own 861 01:17:59.097 –> 01:18:01.870 Dr. Oliver Davis: I always tell people to check your cell phone again 862 01:18:01.930 –> 01:18:21.100 Dr. Oliver Davis: in my cell phone. If everybody in my cell phone looks like me. Thinks like me. Do. I have all Democrats in mind that they're all African American. They're all social work related. Are they all cheering on Harris this weekend? Do I have some people cheering on trump in my phone? Do I have people that are divorced, married single, and all that different. The more my phone is diverse, the better I can relate to the world. 863 01:18:25.050 –> 01:18:33.689 Dr. Oliver Davis: And I can hear different issues. I can see different things. Do I delete everybody who's saying garbage board? Sometimes I'm gonna delete it, delete everybody who's saying that 864 01:18:34.090 –> 01:18:37.750 Dr. Oliver Davis: vote blue. But what about the ones who's saying vote red on my thing. 865 01:18:37.970 –> 01:18:38.780 Dr. Oliver Davis: eeh? 866 01:18:39.670 –> 01:18:40.890 Dr. Oliver Davis: Could I handle them? 867 01:18:43.650 –> 01:18:48.340 Dr. Oliver Davis: And that's the challenge of me, because I have to serve a wider group of people. 868 01:18:49.150 –> 01:18:58.979 Dr. Oliver Davis: and I sometimes go to mass at different places and other times I go to Church of God in Christ, and other times I go to. I was at a Presbyterian Church this past Saturday funeral there spoke there. 869 01:18:59.230 –> 01:19:03.769 Dr. Oliver Davis: Okay, so I go to a variety of different places just to challenge my thought. 870 01:19:07.250 –> 01:19:10.790 Dr. Oliver Davis: So the photographer will not mess up the camera. That may be working well. 871 01:19:12.790 –> 01:19:20.399 Dr. Oliver Davis: nothing. Nothing wrong with the camera, nothing wrong with all the social work skills and everything else we're teaching is the. It's the. It's the photographer 872 01:19:21.810 –> 01:19:23.270 Dr. Oliver Davis: that has to be challenged. 873 01:19:25.320 –> 01:19:26.650 Katie Moncelsi: But you said 874 01:19:26.670 –> 01:19:30.150 Katie Moncelsi: made me think of a situation I end up in when working with a client. 875 01:19:30.500 –> 01:19:48.119 Katie Moncelsi: I was working with someone who was homeless and well, who had been homeless, and I made a comment about why didn't you just go to a shelter? Because I have always told shelters are good, she said, that in where I live a shelter is more unsafe than just living on the streets, and I never would have thought that. 876 01:19:48.870 –> 01:19:49.570 Dr. Oliver Davis: Yeah. 877 01:19:51.340 –> 01:19:52.830 Dr. Oliver Davis: Shelters born safe. 878 01:19:54.690 –> 01:19:59.969 Dr. Oliver Davis: How do you help? And then not all the shelters the best. It's it's an interesting thing. 879 01:19:59.980 –> 01:20:03.519 Dr. Oliver Davis: We just automatically, go to shelter, go here, go to that person's house. 880 01:20:04.980 –> 01:20:13.250 Dr. Oliver Davis: I mean, go get online, go get food stamps, go get this, go, get that. It's so much of an academic experience for us. What happens when it becomes real life for us? 881 01:20:15.470 –> 01:20:26.409 Dr. Oliver Davis: When I had to go on unemployment for the situation, I was unemployed. And I tell you I sat in that car for a long while in that parking lot. Is anybody going to recognize me. 882 01:20:28.220 –> 01:20:31.319 Dr. Oliver Davis: Milwaukee? Aren't you the one. Yes, I'm the one 883 01:20:31.500 –> 01:20:34.370 Dr. Oliver Davis: when the social worker has to go here to help, it's something else. 884 01:20:36.910 –> 01:20:37.620 Dr. Oliver Davis: Yeah. 885 01:20:39.180 –> 01:20:42.820 Dr. Oliver Davis: So again, not only making sure my camera's great. 886 01:20:43.750 –> 01:20:45.990 Dr. Oliver Davis: but also dealing with how I look at life. 887 01:20:47.180 –> 01:20:51.330 Derek Howell: Just makes me think of the man in the mirror. So again, you know. 888 01:20:51.390 –> 01:20:52.509 Derek Howell: a while ago. 889 01:20:52.880 –> 01:21:02.249 Dr. Oliver Davis: That's why I ignored it. I start out with my man in the Mirror Song. That's my ankle song, you know. I got to look at the mirror, and then, as I look at the mirror, then I come and start assessing my childhood. 890 01:21:04.050 –> 01:21:09.740 Dr. Oliver Davis: Got another song for you next week. Next 2 weeks, few weeks. There I go through the whole Jackson thing, you know. 891 01:21:09.980 –> 01:21:11.220 Dr. Oliver Davis: and so 892 01:21:12.080 –> 01:21:16.380 Dr. Oliver Davis: felt like almost using my last song today after so much loss. But I stayed on point. 893 01:21:17.120 –> 01:21:20.790 Dr. Oliver Davis: We have 4 people. It's it's 8, 23. 894 01:21:20.910 –> 01:21:23.479 Dr. Oliver Davis: You have 4 people. What's what stood out for them tonight? 895 01:21:23.530 –> 01:21:30.099 Dr. Oliver Davis: As they looked at. Where is my their childhood or our conversation was, have you seen my childhood? 896 01:21:31.170 –> 01:21:32.200 Dr. Oliver Davis: What's your thoughts? 897 01:21:34.400 –> 01:21:36.259 Dr. Oliver Davis: Poor people, who would be number one? 898 01:21:37.480 –> 01:21:38.650 Dr. Oliver Davis: What stood out for you. 899 01:22:01.780 –> 01:22:03.939 Dr. Oliver Davis: Somebody tell us what stood out for you today. 900 01:22:09.390 –> 01:22:11.690 Jalesia’s : This is for anything that we heard tonight. 901 01:22:11.750 –> 01:22:13.400 Jalesia’s : or just a phone. 902 01:22:13.920 –> 01:22:14.450 Jalesia’s : Okay. 903 01:22:14.450 –> 01:22:15.930 Dr. Oliver Davis: Everything we heard today, everything 904 01:22:18.160 –> 01:22:21.660 Dr. Oliver Davis: conversations, what you heard from other learners in the class. 905 01:22:22.328 –> 01:22:28.259 Jalesia’s : I really like I don't remember the name of it but the purple and the green 906 01:22:28.802 –> 01:22:34.780 Jalesia’s : I really took a lot away from it, especially the conversation, and then like really applying it to 907 01:22:35.020 –> 01:22:44.179 Jalesia’s : my child. When I was in education, how that like you know how that looks also like moving forward in the work that I do now like 908 01:22:44.310 –> 01:22:46.019 Jalesia’s : making sure that 909 01:22:46.590 –> 01:22:47.700 Jalesia’s : I am 910 01:22:48.109 –> 01:22:54.500 Jalesia’s : like the example that we said about encouragement I'm doing. I'm encouraging the correct way. 911 01:22:57.800 –> 01:22:58.650 Dr. Oliver Davis: oh. 912 01:22:59.030 –> 01:23:04.449 Dr. Oliver Davis: yeah, that's that's huge. Looking at that. I've seen that poem, I learned years ago. 913 01:23:04.640 –> 01:23:06.810 Dr. Oliver Davis: and I still at him. 914 01:23:06.850 –> 01:23:10.139 Dr. Oliver Davis: I still assess myself of that, because I assess myself 915 01:23:10.590 –> 01:23:12.180 Dr. Oliver Davis: for the children I see. 916 01:23:12.580 –> 01:23:16.939 Dr. Oliver Davis: and then I assess that point as I look at me in the mirror 917 01:23:16.990 –> 01:23:20.450 Dr. Oliver Davis: to say, why am I being so critical on this issue? 918 01:23:20.460 –> 01:23:22.630 Dr. Oliver Davis: Why am I being so hard on that issue? 919 01:23:22.910 –> 01:23:25.619 Dr. Oliver Davis: And oftentimes it's because of the way I was raised. 920 01:23:25.920 –> 01:23:31.390 Dr. Oliver Davis: and that goes back to not only being raised and being critical on others. It's critical on my own self. 921 01:23:33.620 –> 01:23:42.970 Dr. Oliver Davis: because even though people are dead, and I could still hear them yelling at me or fussing at me. And now and they're gone, and they and I'm still fighting that issue. 922 01:23:45.060 –> 01:24:01.039 Dr. Oliver Davis: and a lot of times what people are fighting from, quantum of a Halloween thing, a ghost from the past, a grandmother's voice. You this, you bad! You have this, and without thinking about it, they pass that on to the generations. That's how many generational curses are done. So thank you for sharing that. 923 01:24:01.580 –> 01:24:02.909 Dr. Oliver Davis: What else stood out for you. 924 01:24:03.160 –> 01:24:04.260 Dr. Oliver Davis: Number 2. 925 01:24:04.290 –> 01:24:05.780 Dr. Oliver Davis: We got one down, 2 to go. 926 01:24:05.890 –> 01:24:06.600 Dr. Oliver Davis: Yeah. 927 01:24:08.610 –> 01:24:15.680 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): I appreciated the moment, and it's sticking with me just about flipping through my phone and looking at my photos or 928 01:24:15.760 –> 01:24:20.759 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): my social media and things like that. And what level of diversity 929 01:24:20.990 –> 01:24:24.100 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): is in these things? Even if I don't 930 01:24:24.500 –> 01:24:27.920 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): hold the same value or the same belief, or 931 01:24:28.580 –> 01:24:35.959 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): even if I'm coming from a completely different perspective than another person. Still, the openness to be able 932 01:24:36.160 –> 01:24:39.439 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): to have space for it, respect that there's 933 01:24:40.680 –> 01:24:47.199 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): divergent thinking in the world if you will and that if I do cut myself off 934 01:24:48.146 –> 01:24:54.693 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): from those information channels, I'm I'm limiting exposure, and I'm limit limiting my ability to. 935 01:24:56.400 –> 01:25:03.780 Alysan Aachen Martinez (She/Her): we'll go back, like, you know, expand to like a more panoramic picture, foot or frame. As I, I look through my camera kind of thing. 936 01:25:04.290 –> 01:25:18.759 Dr. Oliver Davis: When I teach policy classes, too, and I have to really guard myself as I grade different learners paper, because if if they are coming from more of a Republican point of view. And then I'm a right. I'm a left wing. Democrat. Am I fair with their paper? 937 01:25:19.190 –> 01:25:29.749 Dr. Oliver Davis: Have they? Have I allowed them to argue the paper? Or, if is their grade based on the fact that they are republican? Or is their grade based on the fact that they have covered the content. 938 01:25:29.980 –> 01:25:34.900 Dr. Oliver Davis: and I have to make sure that it's contented, and not because they are arguing from a Republican point of view. 939 01:25:35.850 –> 01:25:42.989 Dr. Oliver Davis: because that's not fair. Republicans and Democrats and Independents should be able to have the same ability to get an A in my class and move forward 940 01:25:44.840 –> 01:25:47.180 Dr. Oliver Davis: when I have to assess that self every time. 941 01:25:48.360 –> 01:25:49.439 Dr. Oliver Davis: So thank you. 942 01:25:49.520 –> 01:25:50.799 Dr. Oliver Davis: 2 things. Tomorrow 943 01:25:51.090 –> 01:25:52.160 Dr. Oliver Davis: we're almost done. 944 01:25:52.900 –> 01:25:53.840 Dr. Oliver Davis: Let's sit out. 945 01:25:53.990 –> 01:25:55.229 Jalyne Meulemans: I think that 946 01:25:55.260 –> 01:25:56.850 Jalyne Meulemans: for me. I really 947 01:25:57.800 –> 01:26:01.186 Jalyne Meulemans: I guess I talking about Aps as well. 948 01:26:01.660 –> 01:26:10.270 Jalyne Meulemans: I guess kind of realizing that just because of the way I live might be clean. It might be a, you know, more organized house and going into a home that's 949 01:26:10.480 –> 01:26:18.484 Jalyne Meulemans: not the best and not the most cleanly that just because, you know, it's not up to my standards doesn't mean that that's not up to their standards. 950 01:26:19.400 –> 01:26:26.409 Jalyne Meulemans: And I think, too, when I think it was Trinidad I was mentioning, like the name thing. You know, we have cases that 951 01:26:27.100 –> 01:26:31.839 Jalyne Meulemans: come in. You know. We've had them open 30, 40 times in adult protection, and 952 01:26:32.010 –> 01:26:34.279 Jalyne Meulemans: I, too, will look at the name and be like 953 01:26:34.850 –> 01:26:38.609 Jalyne Meulemans: All right. Here we go again. But I think that 954 01:26:38.840 –> 01:26:40.350 Jalyne Meulemans: because of 955 01:26:40.480 –> 01:27:01.559 Jalyne Meulemans: being a social worker, and because of all these classes that I've been taking learning to, I guess, see? Like a different perspective. And like, okay, well, clearly, this didn't happen, or this didn't work last time. So what can I do this time? That might have a better outcome, or they're coming in 30 different times for a reason. So how can I prevent that? Instead of being so quick to judge and saying, Well, you didn't follow through with this. Well. 956 01:27:01.640 –> 01:27:04.550 Jalyne Meulemans: there's a reason why they probably didn't follow through. So 957 01:27:05.030 –> 01:27:07.620 Jalyne Meulemans: yeah, I guess I kind of like that aspect of the class 958 01:27:07.990 –> 01:27:08.720 Jalyne Meulemans: cool. 959 01:27:09.620 –> 01:27:10.840 Dr. Oliver Davis: Alrighty. Thank you. 960 01:27:11.380 –> 01:27:14.119 Dr. Oliver Davis: Learning her backgrounds, and 961 01:27:14.410 –> 01:27:18.110 Dr. Oliver Davis: how we different, how we don't, how that helps us is important. 962 01:27:20.220 –> 01:27:21.410 Dr. Oliver Davis: closes out 963 01:27:21.910 –> 01:27:22.950 Dr. Oliver Davis: final thought. 964 01:27:24.570 –> 01:27:27.000 Dr. Oliver Davis: Good. 8, 29. Make it brief. 965 01:27:27.430 –> 01:27:46.209 Laura H: I feel like that's a lot of pressure. But I was gonna bounce off of that. I just coming from also like a child Protection service background working in foster care. Similar to what you were saying, where, like boyfriend comes into the picture, or like, there's different people that come into the picture for children. Those children, like 966 01:27:47.200 –> 01:27:56.619 Laura H: the the adults in their life, mean a lot to them, sometimes, regardless of the amount of abuse that they've experienced. But a lot of times we're really quick to point fingers, and and, you know. 967 01:27:56.880 –> 01:28:04.980 Laura H: not try to understand and kind of bash those parents. But those are like major adults and like kids lives. And it's we have to. 968 01:28:05.210 –> 01:28:12.829 Laura H: I often have to remind foster parents in our program like to remember to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their perspective as well. 969 01:28:13.840 –> 01:28:19.570 Dr. Oliver Davis: And next week. Well, our next presentation in weeks number 6, we're gonna talk about a lot of that 970 01:28:20.290 –> 01:28:22.110 Dr. Oliver Davis: because we have to do that. 971 01:28:22.830 –> 01:28:23.770 Dr. Oliver Davis: So? 972 01:28:23.880 –> 01:28:30.340 Dr. Oliver Davis: I said at the beginning, those who may need to stay on afterwards for some challenges and groups feel free to do that. 973 01:28:30.600 –> 01:28:42.910 Dr. Oliver Davis: or you can still feel free to email me. I'm gonna try to work out this situation because I do recognize that some of you have had some challenges with some of your groups, and we'll work through everybody so we can all get out here successfully. 974 01:28:43.050 –> 01:28:44.624 Dr. Oliver Davis: and if some 975 01:28:45.350 –> 01:28:50.689 Dr. Oliver Davis: assignments a little later than I really wanted them to be. I'll live with it because we got to get done. 976 01:28:51.180 –> 01:28:52.110 Dr. Oliver Davis: So 977 01:28:52.820 –> 01:28:56.900 Dr. Oliver Davis: I have to learn to be more patient myself, so I'm cool. 978 01:28:57.630 –> 01:29:00.569 Dr. Oliver Davis: I appreciate you understanding our childhood 979 01:29:00.730 –> 01:29:03.299 Dr. Oliver Davis: issues, and we look forward to 980 01:29:03.320 –> 01:29:07.300 Dr. Oliver Davis: heading down Jackson way in 2 more weeks. Thanks for coming tonight. 981 01:29:07.490 –> 01:29:08.870 Dr. Oliver Davis: Appreciate y'all. 982 01:29:09.160 –> 01:29:09.939 Kimberley Mattioli: Having a good night. 983 01:29:10.080 –> 01:29:11.170 Dr. Oliver Davis: I will record him. 984 01:29:12.220 –> 01:29:13.610 Lillian Dalton: Bye. 985 01:29:13.610 –> 01:29:15.500 Dr. Oliver Davis: Bye. Good night. 986 01:29:15.830 –> 01:29:16.960 Dr. Oliver Davis: Good night.
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